Sucking in a breath, I frown.It’s an elective I’m taking right now and it’s more interesting than I’d expected. I kind of want to work it into my senior project, though I doubt that’s something I’ll get help with… and I’m completely boring you right now. Sorry. I’m dumb. I’m an idiot. No one gives two fucks what I like in terms ofcollege courses.
You’re not boring me, love.
You’re being nice, but I’m sure I am. Anyway, you asked what I was into and if I like being watched? Honestly, I don’t know about the second part. I kind of started this spontaneously, so I’m still figuring out how much I like it or if it will last. And umm…I send the message, thinking.
WhatamI into? I’ve had boyfriends, and I’m obviously not a virgin. But all the things I’ve wanted to try are things I’ve been too terrified to bring up to either of my boyfriends. They were way too conservative for that, or just not adventurous enough.
I’m into trying new things, I say finally.Well, in theory. I haven’t done a lot of things I’m interested in, actually.There I go, being boring again.
What are those things?
I squirm on the bed, thighs pressed together. Am I really about to tell a complete stranger what I’m into?
For a moment, I consider lying to him. About saying something plain or kind of predictable. But a second later, I scoff. Why lie? What’s the point, when he has no idea who I am or where I might live? He’ll never find me, and he’s never going to have a chance to act on what I say, obviously.
So why not be honest? It’s kind of like a fantasy, in a sense. A way to test the waters and see how it feels to admit the things I’d like to try. Maybe if I do it with this anonymous stranger who will never see my face with the whole internet between us, it’ll be easier when I do it for real.
A lot,I say, sending it before explaining more thoroughly.I don’t know a lot about most of what I’m into. But pet play, for sure. That’s a big one.
His response is quick, but I’m not surprised at this point.Pet play? I bet you’d make a cute little puppy.
I’d been thinking cat, but what can I say? I don’t mind him thinking what he wants at this point.And age play. A little? I don’t know about that one, though. I don’t know if I’d be able to act younger than I am.
Go on.By my reckoning, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in that one. But that’s all right, because I certainly have more.
Don’t judge me,I repeat, feeling a little nervous about admitting the last one.
I won’t judge you, love.
Somehow, I feel like he means it.I’m into CNC. you know what that is? Consensual Non-consent?It feels weird to admit it. To type it and send it in a message to someone across the internet. It’s the one desire I keep locked up the most. After all, it’s the most problematic one. The one people would question me for, since it’s notnormal.
He’s quiet for longer than I expect, and my breath catches in my throat as my fingers itch to ask if he’s still there. Has itweirded him out as well?Are you still here?I finally manage, hating that I’m worried about his reaction. As I stare at my words on the screen, about liking CNC, I wish I could take them back.
Of course I’m here, love. You just surprised me is all. What do you like about it? Do you want someone to break in and take you on your bed?
My breath hitches in my throat as he sends the message, but he doesn’t stop there and I wouldn’t know what to say if he had.
Or would you rather someone take you home? A poor, sick little puppy like you deserves to be taken care of. You want someone who knows what’s best for you? Who makes you feel better than you think you could? Maybe you won’t mind if they clip a collar and leash around that pretty throat and have you sit at their knees all day, hmm?
This isn’t going where I’d thought it would, and I find myself unable to stop staring at the messages.
Are you still with me, love?the man asks and I jump to reply.
Yeah, I’m here. I’m here, but I’m fucking dumbfounded.
Is that what you want? Am I close, at least?
Yeah, I mean. I haven’t done it, like I said. But that seems… good?Is good the right word here? It feels lame, honestly.
Want me to tell you what I like?
I want nothing more in the world, but I only suck in a breath, press my lips together, and respond with a quick,yes.
I want to show you what your fantasies would be like in real life. My boyfriend and I like the things you do, but so much more. I want to bring you home like the sweetest little puppy who needs a place to live and someone to take care of her. We could both take care of you, love. And I bet you’d love all the attention we’d give you.
My heart hammers in my chest, and my face feels hot. My thighs press together at his words, and I can’t help but rake myteeth against my lower lip as I read them.Holy shit, he’s a lot better at this than me.
Maybe I’ll let my boyfriend fuck you in front of all your viewers so everyone knows who you belong to. You’ll both be so popular. He likes being in front of the camera, too. I’ll take pictures of you, so we can all remember how sexy you look on your knees while he’s filling you up.