Last night, I fell asleep staring at his back. He wouldn’t hold me or kiss me. Deep down, I know it’s for my own good. If Callum wasn’t Sadie’s father, I’d tell Ewan to go to New York without me. But I can’t stay here. Callum will make my life miserable.
“I’ll get the coffee made. What would you like for breakfast?”
“I’ll get it myself.” He reaches overhead, and those biceps amaze me. The way they held me while he drove into me.
“Ewan, you’re a guest in my house, and you’re patching my brother’s ceiling.”You fucked me.“Let me make you breakfast. It will make me feel better.”
“Why are you shouting?” Sadie’s voice makes me jump.
I turn and find fear in her eyes. She’s never heard me yell. My parents bicker, but no one raises their voice in our house. Unless we’re watching football or rugby.
Sadie loves to grunt and pretend to be a rugby hooligan. Yelling in anger is new to her.
I crouch down and say, “Your uncle is working on the ceiling. I wasn’t sure he could hear me. Now, what do you want to eat, my angel?” I stroke her hair, and it flashes in front of me what I’m about to do.
The life I’m dragging her into with a man who will never love me. May never love her. Will probably only love her half-siblings. My eyes squeeze shut, and right there, it’s a hard limit for me. Something I’ll need an assurance from Kieran. He must be a father to Sadie. Adopt her. That will also protect her from Callum.
“What are you having, Uncle Ewan?” Sadie calls to him.
His face lights up, looking at her. “How about you decide for us?”
“Pancakes?” she says, twirling.
“I love pancakes,” he says and winks at her. His use of the wordlovecuts me deep.
I smile desperately at him, hoping to get a grin in return. Finally, he does, but he quickly goes back to work.
Later that night, after dinner, my bed feels so lonely I can’t stand it. All of a sudden, the house is silent. No pounding on the roof. The rain has stopped! I feel my body relax but heat up at the same time.
Next, I’m pushing out of my bed and standing in front of my brother’s bedroom door. There’s no noise on the other side. No snoring. No faint sounds from Ewan watching videos on his phone.
The doorknob turns because there are no locks in this house. I push the door open. It’s pitch-dark inside, except for a shimmer of moonlight I hadn’t seen in several nights. The clouds outside have parted. So much is clear to me, too.
Ewan is doing what he thinks is best for me. Without debating inside my head, I lift the quilt my maimeó made for all our beds and slide under the covers. Ewan’s body is warm.
And naked.
He jerks awake and looks over his shoulder. “Christ almighty, love. Don’t be sneaking into a man’s bed. I was ready to strangle you.”
My body stiffens at his words, a flashback to Callum choking me hits me, and I try to get away.
“Shite, love. I didn’t mean that. Come here.” He grabs my wrist and pulls me back down next to him. “Are you okay?”
Getting my heart rate in check, I say, “I’m okay now.” Although pinned against this gorgeous, naked man, knowing what that body can do to mine, isn’t helping. “I was lonely.”
“Aww, love. I’m sorry.” He gathers my hair in his fingers. “When you get to New York, you’re going to be part of my family. You and Sadie are Quinlans. You’ll never be alone.”
I take in his words and believe him. “I hadn’t thought about your family. Only the family you want me to marry into.”
“Kieran and I have been friends since prep school. I don’t expect him to keep you from us.”
I close my eyes at the mention of Kieran. “When will I have to move in with him?”
“If you want me to negotiate a long engagement, I will.” Although I wonder if this war he’s been talking about will change that.
“The most important thing to me is that he accepts Sadie.” My voice cracks. “I won’t go through with it if he won’t at least care about her.”
“That’s fair, love.”