I drive deeper and deeper into Darcy, not looking into her eyes anymore. She doesn’t say it, but I know she wants me to fight for her. Wants us to have a go at it. She’s young, and I understand the stars in her eyes about love. I’m older and jaded, more realistic. So, I keep my head buried in her shoulder, smelling her sweet hair. I love these thick, silky dark waves better than the short, bleached look she had going on when I met her. She looked edgy and full of mischief. Just what I wanted for a one-night stand across the pond. When she was good for a wild no-strings fuck.
This…
Whatisthis?
Her whimpering in pleasure pulls my eyes to hers. She looks up at me so trustingly. It chokes me up, and I can’t breathe. In so many ways, her life is in my hands. The emotion rushes at me so hard and fast that I see stars and begin orgasming. I feel kicked in the gut at the same time.
My world tilts, and everything I knew for sure about myself and my direction in life, shatters. Nothing matters except this woman beneath me. Taking my cock so deep and so damn good.
Whatever the hell this is, I never wanted something so much before, and it scares the fuck out of me. This formidable possession wallops me. The idea of giving her to someone else wrecks me. Anything I’ve ever remotely felt for someone feels meaningless. This feels so much more.
Life and death more. Forever more. Put a fucking ring on it more.
I can’t have her, though. My family needs this alliance. This woman deserves to be a queen.
I pull out and get off the bed, shaking from the war in my head. I’ve never been more confused and certain at the same time. I crouch down, holding my head.
Darcy comes up behind me with her hands on my shoulders. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” I bark, wanting her to run away. “What’snotwrong? This is sinful on so many levels.”
“I know,” she agrees quietly, sounding again like the feisty virgin who stayed in my bed when I gave her the chance to run. “I’ll never tell.”
What a secret she has to hold over me. A noose, and I’ll be indebted to her. “I know you won’t, love. You also realize it’s best you don’t tell Kieran that you fucked his best friend. That won’t earn any points in his decision to marry you.” My words come out harsher than I wanted, but shame controls me now.
“I do know that.” She sits on the edge of the bed, and a moment later, slides my shirt across her shoulders. “Can I ask you something?”
I imagine all the questions that should have been asked prior to this moment. “You can ask me anything. But there’s something you should know right now, dealing with men who are the head of their families. Men who hold the lives of so many in their hands. You might not like the answer you get.”
Without flinching, she says, “Fair enough.”
“What’s your question, Darcy?”
“If Kieran agrees to marry me, but only uses me for childbearing, will you come to my bed? If you have no plans to marry, why not?”
Her question shakes me to my core, but my answer falls off my tongue easily. “No. I won’t sleep with another man’s wife.”
“But you’ll fuck his fiancée?”
“You’re not engaged. We’re both single right now. If I present you as anexperiencedbride, who you fucked in the past shouldn’t matter.”
Even her uncle?
The sadness in her eyes kills me. She knows I’m leading her into a lonely life. I’m lying to myself because Kieran would be furious at me. I just can’t help myself, and when I hand her over, I’ll be destroyed.
None of that mattered a week ago when I thought I was giving a twenty-three-year-old Irish countryside girl a chance to marry a king in New York. I didn’t think about feelings or love.
Now I’m caught in a web that’s ripping out my soul.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Darcy
Thenextday,Iwake up alone to find drop cloths sticking out of James’s old bedroom, where Ewan had been sleeping before the disaster it became. Inside, he’s shirtless but in jeans, balancing on a ladder, patching the ceiling. His tattoo dances on top of his chest muscles.
My heart tumbles because I know this means he won’t sleep in my bed anymore. “Good morning,” I say, forcing cheer into my voice.
“Morning,” he says, not looking at me.