“We’re seeing a high level of white blood cells that points to infection. Because of the jaundice and the fact that she’s a preemie, I’d like you to take Maggie to the hospital for further testing. I’ve already contacted my partner, Dr. Davison. He’s on call at the hospital today and will be waiting for you.”
“The hospital?” Hadley sounded stunned. “It’s that serious?”
“At this point we don’t know, but I would rather err on the side of caution.”
Liam nodded. “Then we’ll head right over.”
* * *
Hadley sat in the passenger side of Liam’s Range Rover as he drove to the hospital and silently berated herself for being a terrible caregiver.
“This isn’t your fault,” Liam said, demonstrating an uncanny knack for knowing what she was thinking.
“You don’t know that.”
“She only just recently started showing signs of an infection.”
“But we don’t know how long this has been brewing. You heard the doctor. He said it could have been coming on slowly for a long time. What if she was sick before we went to Colorado and then we walked to town and back? Maybe that’s when things started.”
“We can’t know for sure and you’ll make yourself crazy if you keep guessing.”
“I should never have...” She trailed off, biting her lip to stifle the rest of the sentence.
“Should never have what?” Liam demanded, taking his eyes off the road to glance her way.
She answered in a rush. “Slept with you.”
“Why? Because by doing that you stopped being a good nanny?” He snorted derisively.
Hadley shifted away from his irritation and leaned her head against the cool window. “Maggie was my responsibility. I got distracted.”
“She’s my responsibility, too,” he reminded her. “I’m just as much at fault if something happens to her. You know, one of these days you should stop blaming yourself for every little thing that goes wrong.”
With a shock, Hadley realized that Liam was right. She’d taken responsibility for other people’s decisions, believing if she’d been a better friend, Anna wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and if she’d been more affectionate with Noah or acted more like a parent to his children instead of their nanny, he might not have gone back to his ex-wife.
“It’s a habit I should break,” she said, her annoyance diminished. “It’s really not anyone’s fault she’s sick. Like the doctor said, her birth wasn’t routine. The infection could have been caused by any number of things.”
Neither spoke again, but the silence was no longer charged by antagonism. Hadley cast several glances in Liam’s direction, wishing she hadn’t overreacted last night after finding out Liam intended to seek custody of Maggie. But she’d gone home and filled two sheets of paper with a list of everything that made her happy. It had taken her half a page before she’d begun to break free of the mental patterns she’d fallen into. But it was the last two items that told the real story.
Horses.
Liam.
That it had taken her so long to admit what she needed in her life to be truly happy was telling.
Liam dropped her and Maggie off at the emergency entrance and went to park. Hadley checked in at reception and was directed to the waiting room. She was told someone would come down from pediatrics to get them soon.
To Hadley’s relief they only had to wait ten minutes. Liam never even had a chance to sit down before they were on their way to a private room in Royal Memorial’s brand-new west wing.
A nurse entered the room while Hadley lifted Maggie from her carrier. “Hello, my name is Agnes and I’ll be taking care of Maggie while she’s here.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Hadley followed Agnes’s directions and placed Maggie in the bassinet. It was hard to step away from the baby and let the nurse take over, but Hadley forced herself to join Liam by the window.
Liam gave her a tight smile. “She’s in good hands.”
“I know.” Hadley was consumed by the need for Liam’s arms around her. But she’d relinquished all rights to his reassurances last night when she’d given back his engagement ring.
The nurse took Maggie’s vitals and hooked her up to an IV.
“Because she’s not yet four weeks,” Agnes began, “we’re going to start her on antibiotics right away. It may take twenty-four to forty-eight hours to get the lab results back, so we’d like to take this precaution. The good news is that it hasn’t seemed to affect her lungs. That’s always a concern with a premature baby.” Agnes offered a reassuring smile before continuing. “Dr. Davison will be by in a little while to talk to you.”