Thank goodness she was having dinner with Kori. Talking to her best friend would help sort things out.
* * *
Kori held Hadley’s engagement ring mere inches from her nose and scrutinized the diamond. “You’re not seriously thinking about marrying him, are you?”
“Well, I haven’t said no.” Hadley wasn’t sure why her friend had done such a complete turnaround. “What’s changed since last week when you told me to go for it?”
“Sex, yes.” Kori regarded her friend as if she’d sprouted a second head as she opened the oven and removed her famous shepherd’s pie. The succulent aroma of meat and savory gravy filled the kitchen. “Marriage, no.”
Hadley held the plates while Kori filled them. Her friend’s unexpected reaction to Liam’s proposal was disheartening. “You’re right. It’s moving too fast.”
“For you, yes.” Kori and Scott had taken about a month to decide they wanted to be together forever. But they’d spent four years planning and saving money for their wedding.
“What if it feels right?” Hadley set the plates on the table while Kori followed with the salad.
“Did Noah feel right?”
Noah had been about safety. She’d been second-guessing her decision to change careers and had been worried about money. The notion of marrying a stable man had taken that burden off her shoulders.
“At the time.” Hadley had no trouble admitting the truth of her failing. In the last five years she’d done a lot of soul-searching to understand why she’d failed to see that Noah was more interested in a mother for his children than a partner for life.
Kori nodded. “You are the most practical person I know until a single guy comes along needing help with his kids and you get all wrapped up in the idea of being a family.”
It was her Achilles’ heel, and she was wise enough to avoid putting herself in situations like the one with Noah. Like the one with Liam. As much as Hadley needed to hear Kori’s blunt summary of her shortcomings, she wanted to protest that things with Liam were different. But were they?
Kori regarded her with a sympathetic expression while she topped off their wineglasses. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear.”
“You aren’t saying anything I haven’t thought a hundred times in the last month. I don’t know why I do this. It’s not like I didn’t have a perfectly normal childhood. My parents are happily married, rarely fight and support me in everything I do.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are a born caretaker and one of the most nurturing people I know. It’s in your nature to get overly invested, which is why you hated teaching a class of thirty kids. You might make a difference with one or two, but it’s hard to give each child the sort of attention they need.” Kori hit the problem squarely on the head. “Being a guidance counselor suits you so much better.”
“I know.” Hadley sighed. “But none of this helps me with what to do about Liam’s marriage proposal. I really do love him.”
“You haven’t known him very long.”
Hadley couldn’t believe Kori of all people would use that argument. “Not directly, but I saw a lot of him ten years ago when I was barrel racing. I had a crush on him then. He was always nice to me. Never made me feel like I was going to be his next conquest.” And for Liam, that was saying something.
“Because you weren’t that sort of girl,” Kori reminded her. “You told me while your friends dated extensively you weren’t interested in boys, only horses.”
“I was interested in Liam.”
“Let me guess. He didn’t know you existed?”
“At first, but toward the end of my last show season, that changed. I used to compete with his on-and-off girlfriend, and he’d sometimes show up to watch her. Most of the time I beat her, and he started congratulating me on my rides. At first I thought he was doing it to make her mad, but then I realized he meant it. One thing about Liam, he was always a horseman first and everything else came after.”
“So things were warming up between you. What happened?”
“Anna was my best friend at the time, and she had a huge thing for him.”
“But he liked you?”
Hadley shrugged. “He was way out of my league.”
“What would you have done if he’d made a play for you?”
“Freaked out in true teenage fashion.” Hadley trailed off as she recalled how much more intense her emotions had been in those days. Every problem had seemed crippling. Her success had sent her straight into orbit. “I’d never had a crush on anyone before, and Liam was older by a couple years and had a lot of experience. I told myself he couldn’t possibly be interested in me that way.”