He cleared his throat, suddenly wary. ‘Lily is.’
She shook her head dismissively. ‘But I don’t need you to do this. I can take care of her myself if you don’t want to be involved.’
He recoiled. ‘If I don’t...’ He paused and drew a breath. He’d not made his thinking clear. ‘Darcie. This is foryou.’ It was to free her completely. ‘We should have arranged this before the wedding but we didn’t have time. You know this makes sense.’
But her face whitened. ‘How does it make sense?’
He took a couple of short breaths, increasingly on alert and suddenly unsure of how to proceed. But he’d not gone about this quite right. He’d sprung it on her and she wasn’t comprehending why. ‘Because this way you never have to worry about being able to care for Lily again. Andshe’llnever have to worry. Lily’s lost enough. Now she won’t lose more. She won’t loseyou. You wanted to protect her from that, right?’
Darcie said nothing.
‘You know I’m in a position to be able to do this,’ he added. ‘This is nothing to me.’
She shifted suddenly, turned away from him.
Uncertainty stabbed. But Darcie was the one person in the world who’d been Lily’s constant and this was for Darcie, too. Because it wasn’t Lily he saw in his mind. It was Darcie herself. Darcie as a child, desperately wishing—waiting—for a family, for a place to belong. Moving from one to another and it never working out. Trying to be unobtrusive. Trying to stay safe. Ending up avoiding getting too involved with any of those people because she didn’t want to be hurt anymore. Hiding her true self and doing only what she thought she ought to. She wanted better for Lily. But he wanted better forher.
He wanted her to feel safe and secure and by ensuring Lily’s financial future, she would be able to be honest with him. Able to explore whatever feelings were there...
‘I don’t want you to do this,’ she said briskly, keeping her back to him. ‘I’m not going to sign it.’
Were there feelings there? If there were, he’d just hurt them. And he’d done it too easily. Too thoughtlessly. His own defences rose.
‘Are you the only one who’s allowed to help her? Isn’t that a kind of arrogance of its own, Darcie?’
She whirled to face him. The emotion swirling in her eyes transfixed him. He stared, waiting, willing her to say what was on her mind. Heneededthat from her. He needed the truth—her free to tell him anything. Whatever was on her mind. Without fear. Without coercion. That was the whole point of this.
‘In my experience,’ she said, her tone brittle, ‘people don’t tend to follow through on their promises.’
‘Right.’ He breathed through the ache in his chest because he knew then that she didn’t trust him. ‘Which is why this is a legal and enforceable contract. It’s why you’re getting all the money you’re going to need up-front. So you have full security.’
She shook her head and he finally understood the full gamut of emotion in her eyes. It was hurt. It was disappointment. And it was rejection.
‘It’s only money,’ he said gruffly. ‘You know I have more than I need.’ But futility rose. He wasn’t used to people not accepting the things he offered and this was the most important thing he could offer anyone, and he couldn’t stop himself from trying to convince her again. ‘This is your freedom, Darcie. You won’t have to worry about money again. Work if you want, but you won’t have to. You’ll be able to care for Lily however you want. This is the one thing I can do with any certainty of success. It’s nothing to me.’
She looked as if he’d just shot her.
‘Nothing,’ she echoed.
That bad feeling overwhelmed him. This had been a mistake. She was taking this all wrong. He’d screwed up in such a stupid, obvious way. He never should have got the whole massive legal document drawn up, the funds assigned, everything—without eventalkingto her first. He’d not learned—and he should have learned that from buying the bloody house. Even though she’d loved it, he’d still done it without consulting her. And if he couldn’t learn from something that basic, would he only regress the longer they were together? Would he eventually be everything his father was? Not just controlling—making every tiny decision with such autocratic arrogance, but manipulative and mean to boot.
He couldn’t take the risk. He couldn’t stand it if he did that to Darcie, to Lily.
‘Theonething you can do?’ she said, bitterness sharpening every word. ‘Elias, you’vemarriedme. You’ve got a team of lawyers and advisers working round the clock and now you’re offering me millions...that’s all a little more thanonething.’
But it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t what she wanted. And he knew then that he could never, ever give her what she wanted. What she needed. What she deserved. She was better off without him. She and Lily both were. Because he would never get this right. It wasn’t in his blood.
Darcie couldn’t believe what she’d read in that paperwork. What he was offering. And the degree to which he was freezing on her now. But she knewwhyhe was doing something so extreme. He’d had enough. He was finalising things so he could exit stage left and he was doing it on a grand scale because he feltsorryfor her. This was her version of the jewellery he gave his dates—his parting gift. Only for her it was wads of cash. Did she get the extra big pay-off for giving him her virginity? Her bitterness washed over her in a vitriolic wave of acidity.
‘Darcie,’ he breathed out harshly. ‘If you sign this then it doesn’t matter what happens between us.’
Exactly. They could break up. He could leave and not have to worry—not have to think about her ever again.
‘We fight? We fall out?’ he said briskly. ‘I can’t withhold the money and Lily’s security is assured. And you can be completely honest with me.’
Of course he thought they’d fight and fall out and he was prepping for the moment. Obviously he expected it to be soon. Well, it was going to be sooner than even he realised.
‘You think I’m not completely honest with you now?’ she asked.