“You… both of you may have been unplanned,” I say quietly to my stomach. “I don’t know what to say really… but I want to promise you both something. I will give you everything I can, be the best mom I can. I will never let the darkness of this world or the life I have lived touch either of you… I’ll… love you both with all of me.” I feel a lone tear slide down my cheek. I don’t swipe it away, it actually brings a smile to my face to know I’m still able to feel these types of emotions. Crying was something Vlad or my teachers never allowed us to show, it’s seen as a sign of weakness. Just thinking about Vladimir has my heart racing. No matter how hard you try to hide things, they always have a way of getting out, just like this pregnancy will. When he finds out, he will kill Knight and make me watch.
“I promise…” I turn to peer over my shoulder, already sensing him near before he spoke, his dark silhouette leaning against the side of the house. He pushes off and slowly stalks toward me with a swagger only Knight Murdoch could pull off. He drops down beside me not caring that his shoes get wet in the pool water. He reaches out to brush his knuckles softly against my cheek, his eyes are full of wonder and… lust. “To love both of them with everything I have. I also promise to take care of you and our children.” I hear the truth in his words. I’m going to blame the whole pregnancy hormones for the tears that cloud my eyes, because I do not cry!
“Just because we are having… kids together don’t mean anything, Knight. You’re barely eighteen and have a life ahead of you.” His eyes darken but I need to get this out. “I don’t expect anything from you, never have and never will. My life is fucked up and I can’t promise you forever. I’m not the type of girl that dreams of a white picket fence or a wedding. I’m the girl that fights to survive, kills or be killed. That is me and I won’t change, I can’t.” He wraps his hand around the back of my neck and tightens his hold to the point of pain before he yanks me in close and bends so there is only a sliver of space between us. His breaths come in short rapid pants, his eyes shining with contempt.
“You listen to me and listen fucking good. I’ve grown up faster than any man my age. I didn’t get the childhood or freedom like the rest of these pansy bitches around town. I know what I want, Koby.”
“What exactly do you want, Knight?” I whisper, hating that hope surges inside me that he will say the words I need to hear him say. Knight is not someone you can recover from. Broken hearts heal over time but he is so much more. He burrows himself so deep inside you that you don’t even realize he is a part of you until it’s too late.
“You.” One word, that’s all it takes for him to shatter every wall I have built up over my lifetime. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want him and in equal parts it terrifies the fuck out of me and excites the shit out of me. “Give me all of you, Koby. Everything you have to offer and I promise you, every part of me will belong to only you.” The air rushes from my lungs, the sincerity in his gaze tells me he means every word.
“Loving you will destroy me, you know that, right?” A cocky smirk lifts on one side.
“Loving you has awoken parts of me I thought died a really long time ago.” My eyes widen in surprise which just turns his smirk into a full-blown smile, the cocky bastard knows exactly what he has done.
“Y-you love me?” His eyes close for a moment. I can see pain etched across his beautiful face, my own heart aches for him. I know he has been through some fucked up shit with King’s ex, if the bitch wasn’t dead already, I’d kill her. What Knight and I have between us isn’t conventual at all, I mean the guy tied me up and tortured me for fuck’s sake and yet, here I am hanging onto every fucking word he says. He drops his hand to his lap and tilts his head back to look up at the night sky as he speaks.
“I thought I knew what love was, I mean I love my siblings but I love… Rook more than any of them.” He chuckles but there isn’t humor to it, only pain. “I thought I found a different type of love when Christine came along. She was different from the other girls. She paid attention to me. Made me feel… good. She played with my head so good, it made me think she actually loved me. Shit, I thought I loved her.” A whoosh of air escapes him before he continues. “She wanted me to kill King, told me if I did it we could be together forever.”
“She’s a fucking bitch for even thinking to ask you to do that.” A strained laugh comes from him, but I can see the pain in his eyes.
“I fucked up so badly, Koby. The thought of loving her made me do some fucked up shit. I was fucking my brother’s girlfriend––the mother of his child—and I never felt an ounce of remorse until she asked me to take him out. As fucked up as I am, even I knew she had crossed a line.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I whisper as I move my feet back and forth through the water. I keep my gaze straight ahead, I can feel his intense gaze boring into the side of my head.
“Because what I feel for you is more than I ever felt for her. I feel you inside me ,Koby. I can find you in a room crowded with people because there is a tether that pulls me to you.” I slowly turn to him, his eyes are bright and I can see it in the depths of his gaze that a weight has been removed from his shoulders. “I’m not like the others. I don’t do this talking shit. I’ve never had a girlfriend because I don’t do commitment, but I want to try with you.”
“Because of the babies?” I hold my breath waiting for him to answer, praying he says what I need him to in order for me to finally be able to let him. He reaches out and brushes his thumb across my cheek as he searches my gaze.
“No, I wanted to try with you before I even knew they existed.” I smack his hand away and pull him to me so I can kiss him. He stiffens for a second before he wises up and takes control. He fists my hair in his hand and deepens the kiss, drawing a moan from me. He pulls back and jumps to his feet not caring that his shoes or the bottoms of his jeans are soaking wet. He reaches for me and I don’t fight, allowing him to lift me from the pool. I wrap my arms and legs around him and stare into his eyes, wondering how the fuck I got here.
I never thought that feeling the way I do about him, or even having the smallest amount of hope for the future, would be something I was ever blessed with. Knight is opening up parts of me I thought I had died along with my family. This crazy boy is giving me hope that I won’t just have to live day to day.
My dark Knight is making me see clearly for the first time in years.
Knight
I walk us back toward the guest house and don’t stop until we reach her room. Kicking the door shut, I place her gently on her feet. I may have just said some soppy shit that I will never say again, and I did mean every word of it, but now, I need to fuck the shit out of my girl so she knows who the fuck she belongs to. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck, forcing her to tilt her head up so she can meet my stare. When I see the longing in her eyes I know I have her, she’s mine.
“We do this, this is it for us. You belong to me, Koby.” I place my free hand against her flat stomach, and a gasp spills from her plump lips. “These are mine, my blood, my future. You fuck me over, Koby, or try to flee from me with my kids and I promise you, next time I tie you to a chair you won’t see the light of day again.”
She reaches up, laying her hands flat against my pecs. I narrow my eyes. Koby may look like an innocent blonde that can be toyed with but I know fucking better. This crazy girl could kill you with a fucking pen! Her green eyes hold my stare as she slowly runs her hands down my abs and stops at the waistband of my jeans.
“I hear everything you said, every last word.” Her eyes sharpen and her features pull taut. “Now you listen to me. You so much as allow another woman to touch you, or you make fuck me eyes at anyone aside from me, I’ll tie your ass to the back of your own car and drag you past your family. Then I’ll reverse over you just make sure your fucking dead.” I fight the smile that wants to break free. “You fuck me over, Knight, and I swear to you on the lives of our children, I’ll show you what it is like to be tortured by a Bratva heiress. Be warned, we Russian’s show no mercy.”
I’m so fucking hard for her right now!
I slam my lips to hers and show her with this kiss that I own her as much as she owns me. I’ll fight for her. I’ll fight for us. I won’t fucking let her husband take her from me. With that thought, I break the kiss and fight the laugh that wants to tear from me at the angry look she shoots me.
“I’m done talking, playboy!” she growls.
“You’re getting a divorce.” Her eyes widen and her mouth opens, but I push on. “Don’t fucking fight me. I’m getting the papers sorted now and you will sign the fucking dotted line, Koby.” Her eyes search mine and it stuns me when I see tears cloud her vision.
“I’ll be an Antonov again?” I bit back the growl that wants to tear from me and speak.
“Yes.”
But not for long, I think to myself as I reach for her shirt and lift it over her head. I leave her bra on as I help her out of her pants. She stands before me in a matching purple bra and thong, this girl has a body to fucking die for. She reaches for me but I step back. I want a few more seconds to enjoy my view. Her stomach is still flat but I know as days turn to weeks her belly will grow with my children. I drop to my knees in front of her and slowly peel her thong down her long legs, relishing in the shiver that rolls through her body as my finger skim her thighs. I lock my gaze onto hers as I lift her leg and place it over my shoulder bringing her pussy in line with my face. The scent of her invades me and I growl as I tear my gaze from hers to feast my eyes on her bare, glistening pussy.