She laughed at my lame attempt at a joke and I immediately liked her—at least she was trying.
“All in all, you’re doing pretty well.” She looked at the paper on her desk for a few seconds before flipping through it, looking down at the second page.
“You need a vitamin D supplement. This is not uncommon in the UK, to be honest. We’re not known for our sunny weather.”
“Vitamin D. Got it.”
“Good. We also need to talk about prenatal vitamins. I know you’re only twenty-five but trust me, they are important for the good development of—”
I raised my hand to stop her and shook my head. “Wait, what? What type of vitamin?” I must have misheard.
“Prenatal.” She frowned. “Ms. Byrnes, you’re pregnant.”
“With a baby?”
She cocked her head to the side. “I’m not sure how to respond to that.”
I shook my head again. My heart was hammering so hard in my chest I expected it to exit my chest cavity any second now. ”I’m sorry, but there must be some kind of mistake.” I leaned forward and tapped my forefinger on the file on her desk. “You must have someone else’s file. It’s probably Elaine—she’s bigger in the stomach area.”
“Ms. Byrnes, I can assure you this is your file. Your hCG level is at around 300 mlU/ml, which means you are about three to four weeks pregnant.”
No, please God, don’t do this. I tried to get some air into my lungs but it felt like I couldn’t. All my attempts came out as gasps.
I was having a full-blown panic attack in that doctor's office.
I rested my arms on my legs and looked down at the linoleum flooring, which was getting blurry from my unshed tears.
“Breathe, Ms. Byrnes.” Her voice was closer now and I felt a tentative hand on my back, rubbing gentle circles. “I presume this was not planned.”
You think?I shook my head as my tears started to drip onto the green floor.
I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and turned to look at her as she now occupied the seat beside mine.
“I’m on the pill.”
She nodded. “Well, the pill is a great contraception method but it’s only 91% effective. Accidents happen, which is why it’s always best to use a secondary type of contraceptive if you’re not in a committed relationship.”
Pregnant.That thought had never even crossed my mind.
“You know, you’re still very early in your pregnancy and there are a lot of options that you can cons—"
“Thank you,” I interrupted her. I could barely wrap my head around the idea that a tiny human was growing inside me. Thinking of anysolutionswas out of the question.
She recoiled a little, probably taken aback by the sharpness of my tone.
She stood up from her chair and pointed at the examining table. “Let’s continue with the examination then.”
I nodded and went through the exam in a complete daze, still hoping in the back of my mind that it was just a dream and I would wake up at any minute. Then, I thought about poor Ethan and the double bomb I was about to drop on him.
She finished everything and I just stood in front of the chair by her desk, holding on to my bag for dear life as she spoke.
I only half listened to everything she told me.
She gave me a prescription for vitamin D, as well as a list of prenatal supplements and some pamphlets about what she called my ‘options’.
I thanked her and shoved everything she’d given me in my bag. It would be a discussion for another day.
I reached for my phone, ignoring Ethan’s latest text and booked an Uber as I took the elevator downstairs. I knew it would be an expensive ride to Ethan’s office but I was not in the frame of mind to deal with people and public transportation.