“I have a farmhouse in Montpellier, France that I often use as my base in the summer and fall. I host parties, invite clients, and I’ve come to know a lot of the locals. But I’m not sure I’ll have the ability to do that anymore. I need to slow down.”
“Are you alright?”
Rowan shrugged. “I… I had a recent health scare. Now I take meds for high blood pressure.”
“The captain told me. You’re too young, Ro.”
“I know. I’d been pushing too many 70-hour plus weeks for months on end, especially these past two years, and my body revolted. It’s time to slow down. That’s part of the reason I’m working remotely. The pace is more relaxed. It’s given me the opportunity to step back and take time to relax, to assess my work and my life.”
“You’re doing the right thing. When it comes down to it, if we don’t have our health, everything else doesn’t matter.”
Rowan nodded, but a sad expression passed over his face. “I’ve also felt… I don’t know… empty for a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, and carrying on the family business is an honor that I don’t take lightly, but it’s been a challenge. And my personal life has suffered too. I have rare relationships outside of work that are genuine, and there are few people that I trust. I can work all I want, and I love it, but I need more. I’m just not sure what that is.”
“You’re a smart man. You’ll figure it out eventually. A lot of people run on autopilot for so long that they never question anything in their life. I did that when I lived in Atlanta, at work and in my relationship. I just assumed everything was okay and didn’t investigate clues I should’ve picked up on. Like the fact that most of my friends didn’t like my ex… Anyway, at least you know something’s missing and are willing to put in the effort to find what it is you need.”
Rowan placed a hand on my back, and I stopped to face him. “I have to say that outside of the unbelievably amazing sex, our friendship has been the most wonderful thing to happen to me in a long time. I wanted you to know that.” he murmured.
“I feel the same way,” I whispered, my heart lurching in my chest. That fluttery feeling in my stomach returned full force. Wait, what?
“I mean, I’m not exciting like the celebrities you rub shoulders with…” I replied to lighten the mood.
“Thank god for that. The last party I attended in London was so boring. Nothing but actors, models, and reality TV stars droning on about themselves. And everyone’s expression was the bloody same since no one’s face moved. I thought someone was flirting with me, but he could’ve been constipated for all I know. Fucking Botox.”
I burst out laughing, and Rowan cocked his head, eyeing me up and down in that way of his that gave me goosebumps. Then I thought about the movie stars and models and realized that he was here, with me. It was still a mindfuck that I was trying to wrap my head around. While we were together, just the two of us, Rowan’s wealth rarely registered.
We continued to stroll along the beach and talk. But the more he talked, the more I panicked about how very different our lives were. He owned mansions and yachts, not to mention ran a billion-dollar business. He hung out with celebrities, politicians, and world leaders. What the hell was he doing here on this beach? With me?
Sex. Really good, unbelievably amazing, best-I’ve-ever-had sex. But just sex… and friendship, yes, we were friends. This softer feeling that Rowan inspired was friendship mixed with lust. Maybe more. I had the sudden urge to pull away from him and hide, but I shut that down. I was thirty, not eighteen, and I knew what I was getting into when I invited him here.
I was glad that Jasper and Xavier agreed to join us for dinner. It would keep things casual. I probably should’ve booked a second room so Rowan and I wouldn’t have to sleep together. I flushed hot when I thought about wrapping my body around his all night long. That was an intimacy that I reserved for a partner, like hand holding. I had a gut feeling that the next two days would leave me with more questions than answers about my relationship with Rowan.
“Tell me about the business you’ve started,” Rowan asked, and I was grateful for the opportunity to focus on something other than us.
“Instead of being the employee hired by the agency, I am the agency. I vet the service hires, and I evaluate the jobs and link people to proper placement. I’ve been taking HR and business courses online in my spare time. I still need to get myself registered. I was just getting set up when Ravi contacted me about this job.”
“I’m ever so glad you took it.” Rowan pulled me in close and gave me a soft kiss.
Leaning in, I cupped his face. “Me too.” All thoughts of how this could end in disaster vanished in Rowan’s arms.
“It sounds like you can run your business from anywhere.”
“I can. I’m not sure where home is now though. I’m tired of working and living out of a suitcase, but I don’t know if I want to go back to Atlanta.”
“Because of Anton?”
I shook my head. “Maybe a little bit? Some of my closest friends have moved out of state. And I think I’ve outgrown the city. I just need to figure out where I’m going to land and put down roots.”
Rowan nodded. “I know how that is. The older I get, the more I long for one place to call home.”
“With your money, you can have any home you want.”
“I can afford to buy most any house I want, that’s true. And I have numerous. But not one place I would call my home. There’s a big difference.” Rowan looked at me intently, and I felt his loneliness as sure as I knew my own. A sadness tinged his dark-blue eyes despite his small grin. “A home is filled with laughter and love. It’s where you’re safe and inspired and content.”
“And you don’t feel that way in any of the properties you own?”
He shook his head. I stifled the urge to wrap my arms around him. Neither of us was looking for anything more than sex, so I ignored my desire to comfort him.
“Don’t give up. I know you’ll find the home you’re looking for.”