I think I finally exhausted all the fixups. Everyone I’ve ever met in my life has tried to fix me up since my divorce. I suppose on some level it’s a compliment, but it’s exhausting, and I really hate how much it disappoints people when it doesn’t work out.
So, I’ve recently entered the world of internet dating. It actually seems like an efficient way to sort through people. I’m tall, so all short men are automatically eliminated. I have no interest in having any more kids, so that gets rid of a few. I’m not terribly into young men who like older women, so that cuts out another group.
I have a date tonight with a man I met on one of the dating apps. He seems nice.
His name is Joel. He’s a divorced father of four. He’s eight years older than me, which is a bit old, but he seems youthful and attractive in his photo. Our online messaging, though limited, has been fun and flirty.
I’m meeting him at the restaurant since I was with the new babies all afternoon, and I’m going straight there. I walk in and don’t see anyone resembling the man from the photos. At some point, I’m waved over by an elderly looking gentleman. He introduces himself as Joel. The photo on his profile must be at least twenty years old. Maybe I need to rethink internet dating.
----
The next morning, my three boys are over for brunch. Every few months, the four of us get together and they leave their significant others at home. It's nice to have the boys to myself, even if it’s just a few times a year. We’re able to catch up in a way that we can’t when it’s a big group.
Even after the divorce, Jackson would occasionally come, but since he met Darian, he hasn’t. They have their big family dinners every Sunday night. Darian does always invite me, but I very rarely go. Only if there’s something specific to celebrate pertaining to one of the boys.
As always, I have a big spread prepared for them by the time they arrive. Trevor and Payton both work for Jackson at his real estate development company, and they catch us up on everything going on at the office. Darian’s youngest daughter, Skylar, now works there, too. They all get along well and have managed to successfully divide the labor. I know how happy Jackson is that his once small company is becoming a big, family business.
I actually helped at his company at the very beginning. There’s a decent age difference between the boys. Payton was seven years old when Trevor and Hayden were born. Once he was in preschool, I went back to school and worked to help Jackson build his company. I helped wherever needed, and my multilingual skills often came in handy during negotiations, as Jackson worked with such a diverse clientele.
Even through the years, Jackson often asked for my help when appropriate. He always referred to his company as ours, appreciating my efforts at the beginning, and me supporting us through his schooling. Even though he didn’t have to, he insisted on giving me half of the company’s extreme net worth in the divorce. He’s more than lived up to his promise to take care of me for the rest of my life. I’ll never want for anything.
Hayden’s almost finished with medical school. He’s in his final semester. He’s the most stressed out and intense of the three boys. Trevor’s the polar opposite. He’s always relaxed and happy.
I worry about Hayden keeping his nerves in check. Though, his fiancée, Jessica, has been good for him in that regard. He’s been much more relaxed since they started dating.
I beam at my youngest, by three minutes, for the incredible man he’s become. He’s so kind, sensitive, and thoughtful. He looks more like me than his brother. Payton looks like me a bit too, but Hayden more so. Trevor’s all Jackson.
“Hayden, are you excited for the wedding? I haven’t heard much lately. I know it’s been a long engagement, but we’re finally in the homestretch.”
Trevor immediately interrupts. “I’m getting married too, Mom. In just a few weeks.”
“I know, sweetie, but you and Cassandra have everything under control. It’s her fourth marriage. I think she can handle things. I’m not worried. I know it’ll be an outrageous event that no one will soon forget.”
Trevor laughs. “True.”
I turn back to Hayden and nod my head for him to answer.
He smiles. “Jess is a little stressed, but everything’s fine. I’m trying to keep her calm.”
That’s a bit of a role reversal. “Just normal bride stuff?”
He shrugs. “Yes and no. Her father’s proud and doesn’t want any financial help with the wedding. I think she’s worried about insulting you and Dad if she doesn’t accept your help, but doesn’t want to upset her father.”
I shake my head. “We don’t want to step on any toes. We can do as little or as much as you want. I’m sure your father feels the same. Don’t let her stress about it. It’s not worth it. The wedding should be whatever she wants it to be.”
I grab his hand. “The marriage matters a lot more than the wedding anyway. You two love each other. That’s the most important thing.”
I hear Trevor mumble, “How would you know?”
I turn to him. “What was that? Do you have something to say to me, Trevor?”
He shakes his head. “No. Sorry, Mom.”
“You clearly have something to say. Spit it out. It’s fine.”
He gives me a guilty look. “With mine and Cassandra’s wedding coming up, I’ve just been thinking about the kind of marriage I want. I don’t mean to be hurtful, but I don’t want one like yours. I want one like what Dad has now.”
A knot forms in my throat and tears well in my eyes. He stands up and comes over to hug me. “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean it.”