“I can’t take it, not a minute more. I’m hard, I’m tense, and the scent of you is driving me crazy.” I groaned, taking a step closer to the bed and stopping to take her in.
I wanted her so bad I ached, but before I took her if she’d even let me, I needed to make a few things clear. It was important, and I felt like an asshole, but I never wanted her to think I’d lied or taken advantage.
“Caleb, I—”
“I want you, Ren. I want you like I need air right now, but I won’t stand here and lie. The night you had bleeding fever and the morning you were in heat I lost control and wasn’t thinking. If I had been—”
“You’d have never done it. A mistake.” She murmured, the hurt in her tone slicing me deep before I shook it off and sighed.
“No. I’d still have fucked you, baby. I’m male enough to admit it and take responsibility for it, even if it makes me a bastard. But I’d have talked to you first and let you know where we stand, so you could have chosen. I know I’m a bastard for not letting you choose, and maybe that’s why I didn’t say anything. But I’m thinking clearly now, and I have to be honest with you, I don’t want a relationship, and I won’t ever mate again. I can’t.” I rasped, sliding a hand through my beard in a nervous habit I picked up a few months back.
“I don’t…know what to say.” She admitted, sitting up so that the sheet fell, and I saw her in a small pink tank top.
Her breasts looked so good, so full and ripe and delectable. I swallowed and stayed where I was, despite the hunger lancing through me.
“You say what you feel, Ren, even if I don’t like it. What I have to offer isn’t much. Hell, I’m half a male as it is. I’ve been fighting this. I told myself why I couldn’t be with you, and I’ve tried to stick to it, but you and I both know it isn’t working. We’re attracted to each other, and I think you know, after we had sex during your heat, that this isn’t going to go away. I can’t give you romance, love, or all the other crap a male should give the female he’s with. I just don’t have it to give.” I rasped. “But, I want this, and I want you.”
“This. I don’t even know what this is. You blow hot and cold, Caleb, and frankly, it’s given me whiplash. What is this?” she demanded, shoving the sheet back to stand and come closer.
I liked that. Liked that Ren had grown enough in the last while that she wasn’t afraid to face me, and maybe, just maybe, I could feel some pride in knowing she trusted me. Despite it all, she trusted that I wouldn’t hurt her.
“This is me wanting you and knowing you want me too. For sex.” I said clearly, closing my eyes because she was so beautiful. If I didn’t, I’d kiss her before we finished talking.
“Sex.”
“And friendship. But never more.” I told her, wanting her to be clear on this.
“Friends with benefits?” she asked, making me scowl because that sounded seedy, and dammit, Ren deserved more than seedy, dirty fumbles in the dark.
“Just friends,” I said, liking that more, even if it sounded lame as hell.
“Who have sex.” She pressed, sighing so loudly I gulped and nearly slumped with disappointment. “Which is fine. I’ve been thinking, and you know, I decided that’s fine. It’s not like I’m looking for commitment, either. Just respect, Caleb.”
“I respect you!”
“Yeah? Then don’t jump up and leave after sex. It’s rude and mean, hurtful, and I’m not some, some hooker!” she huffed, growling when I gasped and then wheezed a laugh.
Ren, a hooker? Oh, Jesus, the female was so far from loose that I found myself chuckling at an image of her trying to sell herself. All I heard in my head was, ‘oh, excuse me, but I’m just changing the sheets before we have sex’ or ‘oh God, what kind of bleach do you use on your whites because I have a recipe to brighten that up.’
The image was so clear I snickered and then groaned when she punched me in the gut and growled.
“Sorry. It’s just, that was funny. No offense, babe, but you’d have a fit if some stranger came near you.” I laughed, my relief coming out with laughter as I pulled her close and hugged her.
God, that felt good, and for once, I let myself relax and enjoyed holding Ren. We were still having sex because I was hard enough to hammer stone, but I liked this, and Ren must have, too, because she snuggled closer and sighed.
“You’re not going to be an ass again, are you? It hurts my feelings.” Ren muttered, giggling when I snorted and pressed my dick closer, the tip snuggling her upper stomach because she was so short.
“I won’t run out after. That’s a promise. If you promise me you’re okay with this. Sex. Friends. No strings.” I murmured, letting out a yell when Ren grasped my dick in one small hand and squeezed.
“Sex.” She purred, stroking me slowly until my balls grew tight and pre-come became a steady stream lubing her way.
Just sex.
And oh fuck, that mouth, I groaned when she leaned down and sucked me deep.
Chapter 20 Ren
Isighed as I finished breakfast and avoided Caleb’s steady gaze, our routine so normal now that I should be relaxed. I mean, everything was great, and I was happier than I’d ever been. After the night we talked and agreed to be friends who have sex, well, things were good. Caleb and I lived together, we had sex, we slept together, and even shared showers, which were…