Chapter 19 Ren
Ihad to stop overthinking things and accept the way things were, but come on! This was me, and since I was possibly the most irrational woman I knew, I was fixating on the one thing I shouldn’t be.
Sex.
I kept repeating the word and bustled around, avoiding Caleb’s eyes while my irritation rose enough that if I let myself, I’d deck him. He was right though. I wasn’t a baby and shouldn’t be acting like some love-sick virgin.
We had sex, and he’d left. I shouldn’t be this emotional about it. People had no strings, uncommitted intercourse. This wasn’t the Victorian era, and I wasn’t some blushing virgin. I could do casual sex and not have a meltdown about it.
Okay. Let me rephrase that. I wanted to be able to do casual sex and not have a silent meltdown about it and chew it to death. The truth was, I was failing miserably because I wasn’t the kind of woman who did casual anything.
That pissed me off a lot, and you know what? I was angry with Caleb for making me feel this way. I couldn’t believe he just screwed me and left! What was the big deal about talking afterward and cuddling?
“Fucking moron.” I huffed, the words slipping out before I could stop them.
“You talking about me?” Caleb growled, popping his head in through the back door and looking so yummy that I had to hold my breath to stop myself from cursing at him.
“I’m talking to myself,” I mumbled, going back to the cake I’d been icing.
There were brownies, cookies, and some other things I’d baked because I’d arrived here this morning on a mission to lose myself in cleaning. Only to walk in and find the house pristine.
I mean, spotless. It was so bad there wasn’t even a dish to wash and pack away, and all the laundry had been done.
“You shouldn’t talk to yourself that way, babe. Don’t you know, the best friend you should have is yourself first?” Caleb asked, grinning when I rolled my eyes and grunted.
I refused to talk to him besides the few answers I’d given him, and that was not because I was sulking. Okay, fine, I was sulking, but could you blame me? Not even a cuddle. Even Shane had held me after sex. I bet even human men were more loving, no matter what the movies said about them.
You know what, maybe that was my problem, I thought as I kept ignoring my boss and concentrated on my baking. Maybe, I should date a human man. Sure we could never have a baby because that would just be dangerous, but we could be happy. I bet he’d cuddle me and say nice things, and sure, heat sex was a no go for human men because they didn’t have the stamina to keep up, but I’d adapt.
“You know, it’s not necessary for you to talk to yourself silently. I don’t mind it when you’re verbal.” Caleb mused, grabbing a chocolate chip cookie.
Yeah? I bet you’d like it a lot less if my verbal skills came out right now, I thought, still ignoring him and clamping my lips shut.
I was so tense, so aware of Caleb’s continued presence, that by the time it hit five, I was ready to run all the way home. My head was pounding, and the aftereffects of my heat were lingering a little.
“Wanna stay for dinner?” Caleb asked hopefully, making me feel awful when I bared my teeth and hissed before storming out.
Dinner? Now he wanted to have dinner with me? How about dinner, sex, and a cuddle, motherfu—
“Chill out.” I groaned. The trip home was a fast one because I partially ran all the way there.
All I wanted was an aspirin, a shower, and sleep as I walked up to my trailer and came to a dead stop. My eyes keen, I took in the tiny line of dental floss I'd strung along the porch steps. It was broken, and now that I saw that, I looked at the other booby traps I’d set up this morning. There were tracks in the dirt, and narrowing my eyes, I took in the toothpick I’d wedged in the door. Broken.
“Oh, God,” I whined, my newfound courage fleeing because the shotgun was inside, and there was no way I could go in there alone.
Just thinking about being trapped in there like I was with Shane made me so nervous I bent over to fight off a panic attack.
“Shit. Okay. Call someone.” I whispered, my hands shaking as I dialed and stepped away from the trailer.
With my eyes darting around, I sniffed hard to try and find a lingering scent. It wasn’t easy, not with my nerves and the fact that whoever was here didn’t seem to have much of a strong scent. By the time I’d dialed and whispered to Trey that I needed help, I was bordering on hysteria and fighting the urge to shift. I always shifted when I was nervous, but I refused now. Not to get down on my wolf, but she was crazy, and the last time I fought in fur, I got my ass kicked.
“Ren!” I heard, realizing I must have zoned out when I turned to see Trey leap from his truck.
He was in a full suit, as usual, and it made me smile despite the situation when he grabbed me and hugged me with a fierceness that instantly helped.
“I’m okay. I didn’t want to go in by myself. If you could just come with me and check, I’ll be fine.” I said softly, swallowing down the urge to whimper when I thought of sleeping tonight.
Alone. Unprotected. Vulnerable.