It felt like lies.
He was mine. I was sure of it, and it was fucking silly that I couldn’t just say so. If Daddy had a file of photos of me stored on his computer, I’d be flattered. Except most people weren’t like me, I’d learned, and that seemed to be the problem.
“I don’t lie.” I swept my hair off my forehead and looked up at him. “Humans never say what they mean, and it just doesn’t make any sense to me. I’m not like that. I like to tell the truth, and I can’t always figure out when I’m supposed to lie instead. Computers are easier.”
“Why would you have to lie?”
His fingers twitched against my heated skin. The calluses that marred them should’ve been uncomfortable against my sensitive skin, but all I could think about was how desperate I was.
I wanted to nuzzle into his touch—to taste his skin and bite his fingers. I wanted to make a mold of his hand to keep with me after he left, so I could display it on my desk and slip my knuckles between his whenever I wanted.
“Thea said so. She said if I tell people what I’m thinking, then they might take me away. She doesn’t want me to go away, so she gave me a book. It’s supposed to teach me how to fake my way through life but it just feels wrong.” I huffed, and the action caused my shirt sleeve slip down over my shoulder. “That's why I like the dark. People change with the moon, and everybody stops pretending so much. The monsters are set free, and I—”
“You, what?”
I shook my head. My hands started to shake, and I gripped my thigh with my free hand, pressing my nails into the skin there. “I’m… not supposed to tell you.”
“Hey.” He nudged my chin with his finger, and I couldn’tnotlook at him. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“Promise?” I lifted my pinky finger the way Thea showed me. “You have to put your finger around mine.”
“I know what a pinky swear is, sweetheart.” His finger was nearly double the size of mine, and I liked the way it felt so much, I sort of wanted to chop it off and keep it. “I promise you don’t have to pretend.”
“I… I like to watch the monsters kill each other.”
He smiled.
I studiedthousandsof versions of that smile, and I’d never seen one that looked likethat.
“You like to watch people be murdered?”
“No, not people. Monsters.” I squeezed his pinky finger against mine. “I like when the good monsters hurt the bad ones.”
“What’s the difference?”
I frowned.
“I told you.” Dropping his finger, I tapped the center of his forehead. “Weren't you listening? I like it when the bad guys die. You’re very good at killing them.The best.”
“Why do you think that?”
I couldn’t stop myself from reaching for him, tracing the lines around his lips. “Because.”Silly, Daddy.“You killed the bad guy who hurt me.”
ChapterFour
Silas
My arms were itchy today,and I knew I wasn’t supposed to scratch them butohmygod.I swear there were ants living beneath my skin, crawling along the inner edges of my scars. My forearms were swollen, and with each pass of my nails digging into the skin there, the swelling only got worse.
I couldn’t help it.
“Silas?”
I peered up at Thea, and even her frown couldn’t get me to stop scratching. “It’s bad today.”
“You’re bleeding.”
Shit.