Walking into the house, Damian followed. Star turned on the lights as they went. Laura and Toby were away for the bank holiday weekend, visiting her parents, so she and Skylar had the house to themselves. She motioned for Damian to follow her, and they ascended the stairs, heading to Skylar’s bedroom. Pulling back the covers, Star motioned for Damian to lay her down on the bed. Slipping off Skylar’s shoes, Star pulled the covers over her. Skyla’s leggings and T-shirt could act as pyjamas for tonight. Star shut the door behind her and motioned for Damian to follow her back downstairs.
“Thank you again,” Star said.
“No problem,” Damian said. “I hope you don’t mind – I sent Marcus away. Mum texted when we were in the car. She needs Marcus to collect something for Dad. He was finally discharged today, and is already driving mum up the wall. Marcus’ll be back as soon as he’s sorted it out.”
“Oh, no problem,” Star’s heart skipped a beat. She was alone with Damian for the first time in seven years. “Would you like a drink? I’m sure we have some wine, or tea, or coffee?”
“A tea would be lovely,” Damian said, making his way through to the kitchen. “I can’t believe you still live here,” he said, almost to himself.
“Yes, Toby and Laura have been amazing. They’ve really helped with raising Skylar. I couldn’t have done it without them.”
“What about your mum?” Damian asked.
“Ha, what about her!”
“Well, Skylar is her grand-daughter. The daughter of the daughter she lost.”
“Yes, and not her problem,” Star said. Damian looked shocked and Star laughed. “You missed my father coming back into her life. His first wife died and Mum couldn’t wait to step into her shoes.”
It was Damian’s turn to show understanding, “I’m sorry about Lily,” he said.
“So am I,” Star said, sighing, the pain still evident in her chest whenever she talked about her sister. “It was so quick in the end.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Damian was giving her the choice, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Star wanted to talk about Lily.
∞∞∞
Taking their tea into the sitting room, Star motioned for Damian to take a seat. Sitting next to him on the old sofa was like old times.
Damian sat back and waited.
“Lily didn’t know she was pregnant at first. She had been feeling really tired, but had put it down to the number of shows she was performing, the late nights, and partying. She’d started getting bruises, but again had put it down to her clumsiness on set, multiple shows, and quick costume changes – it was part of the job. The theatre company was sending all its members for health checks, something to do with the insurance, and that is when the blood test came back to say she had non-Hodgkin lymphoma. She came straight home, and we went to see some specialists. They were really positive, telling her she was the perfect fit for a number of new trials. She was young, otherwise healthy – her prognosis was good.” Star paused, taking a sip of her tea, the memories of that time flooding her mind.
“When was this?” Damian asked.
Star looked at Damian and sighed. “It was when you and your dad were in the US office for the month.”
Damian took a deep breath, realisation hitting him. “You never said anything.”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t voice what was happening. If I didn’t talk about it, it wasn’t real. For weeks I was in denial.” Star looked him in the eye. “By the time you came home, Lily had found out she was pregnant. They’d run some more blood tests, and her pregnancy had shown up. The doctor told her she would need to abort in order to have the treatment needed to save her life. She told them no way and walked out. I sat with the doctor while he explained the options to me. He wanted me to convince her, but I knew in my heart nothing would change her mind. It was that day I swore to stay by her side – that I’d support her decision and whatever else came from it.”
“What about Skylar’s father?”
“He wanted nothing to do with Lily once he heard she was pregnant. Or should I say, his family wanted him to have nothing to do with her or the baby. Two weeks after she found out she was pregnant, his engagement was spread all over a glossy magazine. His family had found the perfect match and that certainly wasn’t an actress from a single-parent family. Lily was devastated. I think she knew she wasn’t going to make it, and she was terrified about her baby’s future.” Damian pulled her into his chest as Star’s voice caught. She took the strength he offered, resting her head against his heart.
“He didn’t deserve either of them, whoever this man was,” Damian murmured into her hair.
“No, he didn’t. Lily was too good for him. I only met him a couple of times; she’d kept him a secret from us all the months they were together. He loved Lily – you could see that – but he was weak,” Star said, admitting out loud what she’d never voiced before.
They sat in silence, Damian stroking her hair and Star letting herself fall into the comfort he offered.
Damian’s hand paused, before he said softly, “Why did you sleep with Toby?”
“Damian,” Star whispered, sitting up and holding his gaze, “I didn’t. Lily needed me. You needed to go to the New York office. It is what we’d planned – it was your future and I couldn’t ask you to put your life on hold for me, for my sister. Toby agreed to help me, although wasn’t happy about it, and Laura to this day hasn’t forgiven me …”
“Did you not think I would have been there to support you, to support Lily? I wouldn’t have gone. I could have gone at a later date.” Damian sounded angry as the truth sank in.
“No, you needed to go,” Star said calmly, placing a hand on his arm. She’d had seven years to come to terms with her decision not to hold him back and to let him go, however much it hurt her. “The Head of the New York office was looking to retire and you needed to be there. It was all we’d talked about for months. It was your future. I still had university to finish, but I knew I was needed here. I couldn’t leave Lily, and then later, Skylar needed me.”