Now that our work is done, I grab a fresh wine cooler and sit by the fireplace. A random slow song plays softly in the background.
I think it might be by Lana del Rey, but Janice’s contribution to the party was making the playlist, so I’m not very familiar with some of the songs on it, including this one. I like it though. It’s perfect for the ambiance.
Steve sits next to me a few seconds later.
"Thanks for your help. That would've taken a lot longer if I had to keeping doing it all myself," I tell him.
"It was nothing. I mean, you guys didn't have to include me in this party, and celebrate my accomplishments along with your own, but you did. Besides, you shouldn't have to do all that work by yourself.”
Once again, I'm touched by how he expresses his care and concern for me.
I take a sip of my wine cooler and I remind myself not to flirt with him but it's so damn difficult. After all, he's right here and he looks and smells so good. Like beer, wind and a little sweat.
If anything were to happen, this would be the perfect moment for it. Everyone else is passed out and there's gentle music playing softly on the speakers. We're even sitting beside a romantic fireplace.
My heart races as I imagine a million different scenarios involving him and me and a romantic evening.
Scenarios I really shouldn’t be entertaining, even just in my mind.
"I can't believe life as we know it is finally coming to an end," Steve comments.
I latch onto the conversation as a distraction.
"Yes, high school really does seem like it goes on forever," I joke.
"Exactly. And then before you realize it, it's over and done with. But it seems like yesterday that you just started," he teases me with a smile.
"Yeah, that was fun. We have a lot of great memories together. Not just of school, but from childhood, too. Things really are changing for all of us," I muse.
"Yes. It's difficult to believe that very soon, I won't be around here anymore. I've grown up here. Not just in town, but here at this house with you and your brother. There wasn't probably even a week when we weren't together in some way,” he says.
I feel a lump in my throat as he talks about leaving, so I decide that another drink is necessary. I crack one open, then take a little sip and look away. I'm afraid my eyes will betray the emotions that I'm feeling.
"Yes, we were always together. You and my brother let me tag along with you so many times, " I answer when I'm able to talk again.
"Of course! You made those times more fun," he says.
We laugh awkwardly. Then I blush and look away. I wasn't expecting him to say something like that. He's definitely making it difficult not to flirt with him. As I feel his gaze on me, I look back over at him and smile.
"Yes, we do have a lot of memories together from the past. But now we'll be making new memories," I tell him.
“Yup, so how's it going with packing and everything? Need any help?" he asks.
"Oh no, but thanks. My room is pretty much squared away. Derek has been helping me pack up things when he can, and the heavy stuff’s all done. Now I'm mostly just getting my paperwork in order— you know, my scholarship papers, my admissions application, my proof of vaccinations and all those necessary things," I answer.
I know I’m talking about small, boring things that aren’t important, but it’s better than blurting out how much I wish he would jump my bones!
“Yeah, you always have been very organized,” he says with a smile. “And I admire that about you. I can never find anything, but you always know where everything is.”
That’s me, I think.An orderly person who has everything under control.
It’s been my way of coping with things due to my chaotic home life and dysfunctional parents.
But sometimes I wish I could just throw all caution to the wind and chase my wildest desires.
Especially the ones I have for Steve.
Now I can feel it again. That tension that seems to rise up between us whenever he looks at me.