My mind burns with a million questions I want to ask.
Like, how many times did Steve go to visit Derek and ask him about me?
How many times has he tried to call me since I left for college?
I turn to him and smile as I see how he's gazing at our daughter with amazement written all over his face.
I'm glad that he's here right now. I didn't think this would be possible. I didn't see this happening at all. I thought it was only a dream that I had, but now it’s actual reality.
The baby continues to cry but she starts getting a little bit quieter now. She hiccups in between sobs.
"She really is so beautiful. What’s her name?”
“I haven’t given her one yet,” I tell him. “I guess I was waiting for you.”
As I say it, I realize it’s true. I couldn’t figure out what to call her because it wouldn’t have been a complete decision without Steve’s involvement.
She cries out again and I gently “shhhhh” her while rocking her.
“She fusses sometimes before going to sleep,” I tell him. “But not usually this much.”
“Do you mind if I give it a try?" Steve asks.
I'm shocked by his question. I thought that the minute he saw the baby, he might turn around and run back out of the house. But I guess I wasn’t giving him enough credit.
I'm in a little bit of a daze. I still can't believe that he’s here with me.
I know that soon I have to talk to Janice and let her know that not only do I forgive her, but I’m also glad she talked to Steve.
This is one more thing I owe her a huge thank you for.
Chapter 16 – Steve
I'm mainly overjoyed as I stand here gazing at my daughter. This feels like a dream. I have to fight back my tears because I'm so overwhelmed with emotions right now.
Bella seems to be struggling to get her to calm down. I noticed this as the baby cries loudly.
I hold my arms out as she looks at me with surprise and shock. It's a few minutes before she's able to respond to me.
"Umm, sure, if you want to. She's your daughter too, after all," she replies.
Then she carefully hands the baby to me and watches as I get my arms into a good position for holding her. I'm feeling emotional again. I can't believe that this tiny little person is actually mydaughter.
I cradle her gently in my arms, then start walking around the room, gently rocking her in my arms. I make shushing sounds as I do so, for about 10 minutes.
The baby eventually stops crying and falls asleep in my arms. I don't want to let her go so I continue to walk around the room, holding her long after she's asleep.
"I'll be right back. I'm going to go talk to Janice," Bella whispers and leaves the room.
I continue to hold the baby in my arms. Eventually, I lay her down in her crib and make sure she's asleep. I smile widely and just continue to gaze at her until Bella returns a few minutes later.
"I couldn’t find her. I guess she left," she says, shrugging her shoulders.
I look over at her.
"Really?" I ask, intrigued.
"Yes. Maybe she's giving us some time together," Bella answers.