"But I'm just telling you the truth. I'm just letting you know what I'm dealing with right now," I tell him.
I want to calm him down, but he doesn't listen to me.
"Whose is it? Who did this to you? Tell me right now!" he demands.
"I'm not saying anything else. I'm just telling you what's going on and that I'm going to have this baby and keep it," I inform him. “I’m actually really happy about it. I figured you wouldn’t be, but I still thought I should let you know.
"You’rekeepingit? No you’re not! You're insane if you think that's what you're going to do. And you're just downright crazy if you think that you're going to get any help from me if you insist on making that very wrong decision! It will ruin your life. You’ve only just started college and you’ll lose your scholarship if you don’t go to school. How could you do this? How could you let this happen?" he keeps yelling at me.
I knew he wouldn’t take this news well, but his reaction is way worse than I feared it would be. I'm tired of this. I don't need this added stress right now; it’s not good for the baby. I hope he’s wrong about my scholarship but I can’t even think about that right now.
Hopefully the school will let me take a maternity leave but still keep my scholarship. I’ve been studying hard and getting good grades.
This isn’t what I needed to worry about right now, though. I was just trying to inform Derek.
Now wonder I’d put it off for so long!
I know he likes to act like my father, but he could at least try to understand where I’m coming from and try to be happy for me, because he’s not my father— he’s my brother. And I just need some support right now. Clearly I won’t get it from him though.
"Listen, I have to go. I have things to get done. I just wanted to let you know this. Sorry if I've done anything to upset or disappoint you," I say.
I hang up the phone call right there. I sigh for a minute and rub my temples. That was a lot of stress.
Then I grab my phone and dial a number I know by heart before putting it up to my ear. Janice answers right away.
"Hey, Bestie. How is everything?" she asks.
"Not so great. I just told Derek the news and he flipped out, like I expected," I say, with a sad sigh. “Except even worse, honestly.”
"Oh, my gosh, no! Do you need anything? Are you okay?" Janice asks, sounding concerned.
"No, thanks, I'm fine. It's just… you know… dealing with Derek’s reaction that’s stressing me out. Otherwise I’m good. Of course, I'm happy I got to see the baby on the ultrasound. I even got some sonogram pictures and found out it's a girl, but now as I get further along, I'm going to start feeling and experiencing more symptoms soon," I explain. “I guess I’m a little afraid of pre-labor contractions and stuff like that. Not to mention labor itself!”
Suddenly fears flood my mind as I think of the worst. I’m wishing I hadn’t called Derek because I was feeling good before that.
"Oh, you definitely need help. You shouldn't be alone like this. I'm going to take a sabbatical from school. In fact, I can start that right away because you know my school isn’t all that into academics. They’re just glad I swim for them. The season is almost over though so they won’t care what I do after this, as long as I show back up next season!”
“That’s really nice of you to offer that, but I can’t accept it,” I tell her. “I want you to focus on your classes.”
“Well,Idon’t. They’re boring! Why don't you come up here and stay with me? It will be so much more fun. Just like old times. I really miss high school, and how we always used to hang out. Don’t you?”
“Yes,” I admit.
I haven’t found any good friends like Janice or our other crowd here. It’s harder to relate to people I haven’t known forever, I guess—especially since I worry they’ll judge me once they find out I’m pregnant!
From what Janice has said, she hasn’t managed to make many new friends, either. I guess it could be good for both of us to reunite.
“Please let me help you! I can talk to my parents about it— you know they’ve always liked you— and we can do whatever is necessary so that you won't be alone at this time," Janice suggests.
She’s right about that. Her parents felt bad that my own were so neglectful. Sometimes when they’d have a big fight, they’d lock each other out of the house and forget that I couldn’t get in, either.
So Janice’s parents would also let me come stay with her at their house. I like it there. And a change of scenery wouldn’t be so bad.
"Are you sure about that? I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I'm fine doing all this on my own," I answer.
"No, no, it's not a big deal at all; trust me. I know my parents will be happy to help. Besides, you're my best friend. This is what we do for each other. And you can stay with me at my parents’ vacation home. They're not using it anyway, so it's empty right now. That’s the perfect solution to all of this. It'll have everything that you need," Janice answers.
After a few seconds of deliberation, I accept.