I don’t know how on board I feel right about being a mother amidst all of this, well, bullshit, but I do know that this baby willgrow up far more loved than I ever did. It’ll never know neglect or hunger or torture. It will never fight for its life. It will never be up on some auction block like it’s worth nothing but its own untouched skin and—
A hand touches me, jolting me out of my thoughts, and I spin, my heart in my throat. Ari lays both of his hands on my shoulders, towering over me. His pale skin is almost glowing in the afternoon light, his hair lit up like fire. He quirks his lip up into his usual smirk, but there’s something in his eyes.
Worry, maybe? Though I don’t want to fool myself into believing that.
He drops one hand to hold over mine where I’m still clutching my stomach, and the other cups my chin. His tongue wets his lower lip, and I wonder if maybe he’d speak if he could. But somehow, I don’t think that’s why he’s silent right now.
Dipping his head low, I have only a second to prepare for his kiss. It’s not any softer than usual, but it drags on without him trying to take things further. Maybe he is worried. Maybe he’s starting to crack under all this pressure too.
If anyone would admit to being sick of me and the shit that came on the heels of bringing me into the misfits, it would be him.
“Ari, I—”
He shakes his head, then kisses me again before stepping back. ‘Kane needs you.’
He signs a little faster each time, and it’s getting a little easier to keep up. ‘Okay,’ I sign back because I know it’s the only way I’ll really learn to understand it.
Ari reaches for me again, and his fingers tap a pattern against my neck that takes me just a bit longer to work out. ‘What do you need?’
I close my eyes and breathe. “Just a second to myself. I’ll be right down.’
‘Okay, princess.’
His hands are gone, and I listen to his footsteps as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. When he’s gone, I sag down onto the edge of the bed and scrub my hands over my face. This is no time to be falling apart. Kane needs me strong, and even if the baby is making my body feel weak, the rest of me isn’t.
I signed up for this, and I’m not going to let any of them down just because I’m feeling lost.
I don’t have a new bounce in my step or any of those ridiculous TV moments after a long montage of feel-good music. But I do find the energy to get dressed from one of the sparsely packed cases one of the boys put together for me.
The room I’m in is small, nothing like my sprawling suite back home, but it’s cozy, and there’s a bathroom. I empty my bladder and wash my face, and I feel a bit more human as I head to the living room.
The boys are all there—Kane in the armchair, Phoenix and James on the sofa so close their arms are tangled together, and Ari perched on the window bench with his knee to his chest. He meets my gaze first with a tiny, private smile, and I return it before looking at Kane.
“You asked for me?”
“Have a seat, little goddess.”
I don’t know if I’m ever going to get tired of hearing him call me that. At first, it came across as mocking. Now it just makes me sound like I’m theirs to worship. I glance around, and while James looks like an adorably eager puppy in the space beside him, I take the second chair and ignore the way he deflates.
In truth, he’s too close to Phoenix, and Phoenix too often knows how to use his fingers to get me to comply. Whatever Kane wants to say, I need to think straight.
There’s a pause that lasts only a beat before Kane begins. “We plan to bring Leo in.”
I stiffen. I know what that means. They’re going to torture him for information. I have no idea what they did to Rhys, but it was enough to leave him in recovery for months. Maybe years. And he’s blood family.
“Are you looking for my approval?” I ask.
“I’m looking for your cooperation,” Kane says.
I can’t help a small, bitter laugh. “Are you trying to tell me I’d be able to stop you from taking him in?”
Kane’s eyes seem to glow, and the others have gone stock still. “No, little goddess,” he says, leaning forward over his knees. It’s that moment I realize he’s not wearing his leg, and I wonder if he’s made himself physically vulnerable to manipulate me. Or…maybe he’s just in agony. He wouldn’t tell me if I asked, though. “We’re taking Leo in no matter what.”
“Even if he’s not behind the breach?”
Phoenix sighs. “I know your theory, Alice.”
“And you dismissed it,” I shoot back. For a single moment, I suggested that maybe Leo wasn’t the one they were looking for, and Phoenix smiled at me like I was some toddler. It stung more than I wanted to admit. “But whatever. So you want my cooperation how?”