It’s killing me, so taking Phoenix with me just seemed logical. I hadn’t thought about what it might cost him.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur when we step into the elevator.
His hand tightens on his cane, the only real outward sign of his discomfort. “Don’t be. I’m fine.”
I scoff, shaking my head, fighting the urge to shove him against the wall and kiss him. “Don’t lie to me.”
He sighs but says nothing. The elevator tells us we’re at the floor leading to my private office. The last time Phoenix was in this building, this office belonged to my father. It hasn’t changed much, but not because I’m a sentimental man. There just wasn’t much point when I never spent time there. I’d allowed Rhys and Aldis to have the run of the day-to-day while I hid away in my little castle and put those I loved back together again.
But now I’m starting to wonder if I broke something here too.
“Kane?”
I blink, realizing Phoenix was speaking to me, and I clear my throat. “Sorry. I got lost in thought.”
He says nothing for a bit, just following along until I reach my office. It’s dark and a little musty, which means Aldis hadn’t been by since I’d taken his son in, and that’s my worry. He’d sent a single message after the night of the engagement party, telling me he needed some time off. I granted it after letting him know his son was still alive and would be for the time being.
He didn’t ask for more—he knew better than that. But if I kill Rhys or break him beyond repair, I will lose what little bit of my blood family I have left.
Flicking on the lights, I let Phoenix go to do his own exploring of the space. He makes a few curious noises as he walks the perimeter of the room. His fingers feel out the bookshelves, touching old photographs of my parents and my sister that I never really look at anymore. He grazes hands overmy desk and computer and then finds me standing beside my chair, staring out the window.
“It’s strange to be in here again,” he murmurs, resting his cane against the desk and wrapping his arms around my middle.
I sigh, pressing my nose against his shoulder as I stare out at the skyline. “How so?”
“Well, we snuck in here and fucked on this desk that one time your father was in an all-day meeting,” Phoenix says, and I startle, then laugh. “It was the first time I took out the security cameras on this floor.”
“Dad nearly murdered me when he realized what we did,” I say, though that wasn’t really true. He threatened to shoot me if I was ever so reckless again, but I think secretly he was just pleased I’d found someone who made me happy. It was so close to when everything fell apart, but I had no idea at the time. There was just the pressure of filling his shoes and the bliss of being in Phoenix’s arms at night.
Pulling back, I cup his face between my hands and stare at his closed lids. He doesn’t wear his eyes often anymore. I don’t know what’s changed or why, but it’s almost comforting. It feels strangely like he’s accepting a bit more the reality of his situation. I had spent so long terrified of his denial because eventually, the truth would settle in his bones, and I wasn’t sure he’d survive it.
But he seems happy.
I want to believe he’s happy.
“Kiss me,” he says. “We don’t need to give a shit who’s watching now.”
I laugh and do ask he asks, backing him against the desk so he’s forced to sit, and I slide between his spread thighs. No one will bother us, of course, and I don’t give a fuck who’s watching the cameras. Let them see.
“We can’t get distracted,” Phoenix says after a bit, breaking away.
I groan and drop my head, mouthing at his neck, but he’s not wrong. We can’t afford to waste time. Besides, I have a desperate, horny, misbehaving little shit at home who probably just had his balls emptied for the first time in a week. And while I know Ari and Alice took good care of him, I also know he needs me to end the punishment. That’s how James’ mind works.
“I need to call Aldis in for a meeting, but before I do that, we need to talk about Rhys.”
“We couldn’t do that at the house?” Phoenix asks as I step away.
“I don’t want Aldis there right now. Not with Rhys in the basement.” I walk around the desk and snag the chair that’s sitting beside the door and drag it over. Phoenix follows the line of my arm to the back, then sits while I take the one behind my computer. “We can’t keep this up.”
Phoenix sighs and pulls out his phone. He taps a little pattern on it, then tilts his head the way he does when he’s listening. “He’s asleep. Did you turn the lights and sounds off?”
I feel guilt clawing at my throat because there’s every chance that I’m just being betrayed by my fucking feelings, but something tells me Rhys has been honest. This is punishment for betrayal, not because he’s trying to overthrow me.
“I want to have a conversation with him where he’s not being coerced by his pain,” I say.
Phoenix nods sagely. “I was going to suggest it a few days ago, but you seemed wound up.”
“That,” I say with a sniff, “is James’ fault. And yours.”