I recoil as if she was singing very off key. “Way to tell a guy he doesn’t look manly.”
“I know. It was stupid. I was trying to get him to like me, but I was nervous, and I opened my mouth…and something thoughtless came out.”
If she’s able to talk to me casually like this, then talking to guys shouldn’t be the problem. It’s the fact that she gets in her head and psychs herself out. If I could get her out of her own way and living in the moment, she might feel less anxious and stop overanalyzing.
“You meant well, and you had the right idea. We just need to work on your delivery.”
“How do we do that?”
“A lot of it has to do with confidence. Men like confident women. For most, it can be quite attention grabbing. Confidence in yourself amps up men’s curiosity and encourages them to come talk to you.”
“Are you saying I have no confidence?”
“I’m simply saying the more you worry about trying to impress someone, the more anxious you’ll feel and the more likely you’ll choke. What do you normally do at bars or clubs?”
She shrugs. “Hang out with Kami and some friends.”
“Do you not like clubs?”
She pops another chip into her mouth and wrinkles her nose. “I just feel out of place. I’m a shy person. I like people watching and listening in on conversations more than actually being a part of them.”
Flirting would be different if Kiera was an extrovert. But being such an introvert must make it harder to talk to someone without getting overwhelmed.
“What would you do if a guy came up to you?”
“Probably freeze. Guys don’t usually approach me.”
Either something is wrong with the male species or she’s so shy that she’s coming off to guys as indifferent.
“Why?”
“I’m not that attractive. I mean”—she laughs awkwardly to herself—“look at me.”
“Kiera.” I take her hand in mine, staring intently, and try to ignore the strong tug I feel toward her. “You are a very beautiful woman.”
“You don’t need to patronize me.” She jerks her hand away.
Has her past dating experience been so terrible, she’s convinced herself that she’s undesirable?
“I’m not. Other guys may not take you seriously.”
“They don’t.”
Clearly, our arrangement can’t just be about teaching Kiera how to have sex without emotion. I have to help her learn to love herself.
I take her hand again. “I do.”
Our server approaches our table, killing the moment, and I release her. Maybe it’s for the best. After she takes drink and appetizer orders, the waitress leaves.
“I’m sorry for snapping,” Kiera apologizes. “I’ve heard so many lines from other guys, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t.”
“It’s okay. I’m serious, though. Those guys are the idiots, not you.”
She hesitates. “Thank you.”
“I know this is an uncomfortable question, but I have to ask. What has your sex life been like?”
She stiffens and takes a deep breath. Her eyes dart in every other direction but mine. “I-it’s fine.”