“I will.”
“I don’t want them to get infected.”
“Thank you for caring.”
I smiled at Zac and he lifted his hand to wave at me. I waved at him too and then headed for the trail. When I reached it, I took off running instead of walking and I ran all the way back to my car in the parking lot. Once inside, I cranked it and turned the A/C on high, blowing it straight into my face.
What in the hell are you doing, Stevie?I asked myself.
What I’d just run away from with Zac was wrong in every way, yet it felt so incredibly right. I knew I was playing with fire just like he was, and I also knew that for the two of us to continue being around each other—professionally and personally—I was going to have to be the one to stomp out that fire, even though I didn’t want to. But if I didn’t do something about it, thisthingbetween Zac and me was going to continue racing down its forbidden pathway and lead us into having an affair. That was so obvious. But having an affair was not the answer to his hunger for a romantic relationship nor was it the answer to mine. It would only be a temporary fix—one that would leave us both feeling unfulfilled and lonely every time we had to go our separate, secretive ways.
Still…
I couldn’t deny how alluring the thought of having a passionate affair with Zac Buchanan was to me. He was the only man with whom I had ever allowed myself to picture doing that. Part of me felt terrible for thinking about him in that way, but it was only a small part. The rest of me was fine with it, because I knew Zac and I weren’t ever going that far. I wasn’t going to allow an affair to happen and he really didn’t want it to happen either. Although we hadn’t discussed it, we both knew how much regret would be involved if we did. That was a no-brainer.
What was it about the “forbidden” that pulled at people so much? Why was the temptation of it so strong? Was it just about breaking the moral rules set by mankind? Another form of rebellion? When it came to having an affair with someone, was the allure of it only about having something that didn’t belong to you?
On the drive back to my house, I thought about every interaction that I’d had with Zac since the first time I saw him. The curious friendliness between us had progressed so quickly yet carefully on both our parts. After today’s interaction with Zac, though, I knew he and I were going to have to be even more careful to not show exactly how curious and attracted to each other we really were while in the public eye. I would never want anyone in the legal community to grow suspicious of our friendship. If someone did, it carried the high potential of snowballing into a vicious rumor that could ruin both ourcareers—even if the rumor held no truth. Even if Zac and I weren’t fucking each other.
That was something I was only going to allow myself to fantasize about doing.
13
#proceedwithcaution
Zac
DAMN. I HATEDto see Stevie leave but I understood why she did. It was for her own good and also mine. We had both been tempted to cross a line that we didn’t need to cross although it would’ve felt so good doing it. It would’ve felt so incredibly good to not only hold Stevie’s body against mine again, but also to kiss her.
It’d been years since I’d been kissed by a woman. It’d also been years since I’d been touched in the way that Stevie touched me in the short amount of time that we’d stood here together, hidden away among these trees next to this running trail. The concern for me that she’d verbalized was unbelievable. Her caring hands on my skin were too, along with her arms that she hugged me with.
Although Stevie told me that she felt sorry for me due to how my life with Avery was, I knew her affection toward me wasn’t just about that. She and I were both so attracted to each other and it was nearly overpowering to me. When she was standing here—so close that I could smell the coconut scent of her lip gloss—I came so close to giving in to my desire for her and kissing her. The cut on my bottom lip would’ve probably startedbleeding again but it would’ve been worth it just to feel Stevie’s lips against mine.
I needed to go pick up Malcolm from my parents’ house and take him back to mine, and I was hoping and praying that Avery would be on her way to Lubbock by the time we got there. I knew she wasn’t going to Lubbock again only to see her family and friends like she’d always claimed. She was going to see her college boyfriend, Justin, with whom I was certain she was having an affair. He was Avery’s main reason for all the trips. Regardless, I was willing to tolerate it, along with footing Avery’s traveling expenses, just to live in peace with my son.
His selfish mother was gone when he and I got home and over the next few hours, he and I played together with his Legos in his bedroom, ate some hot dogs and potato chips for lunch, then piled up in the living room on the couch to watch “The Sea Beast” on Netflix. It was the latest kids’ movie and Malcolm loved it, but the little guy needed his nap and fell asleep about halfway through.
When he woke up, he said he wanted some ice cream, and so I asked him if he wanted to go to Baskin-Robbins. I already knew his answer was going to be “Yes” because he was a big fan of an ice cream they called “Daiquiri Ice,” and so was I. Obviously, Malcolm didn’t have a clue about what a real daiquiri was. He just loved the tart lime flavor of the ice cream.
When we walked into the store, I did an immediate double take at the same time my breath caught in my throat. To my total surprise, Stevie was standing next to the counter, looking down at the display case of all the different ice cream. She hadn’t told me what her plans were for the rest of the day before she left me at the running trail earlier, but being able to see her again this soon and at this place made me smile.Timing.
I picked up Malcolm and carried him on my hip over to where Stevie was still standing. Her back was to us and one ofthe Baskin-Robbins employees was working on scooping some ice cream for her.
“Do you see who that is right there, standing in front of us?” I whispered into Malcolm’s ear.
He looked at Stevie’s long blond hair and then stretched away from me to see the side of her face.
“Hi, mermaid Stevie!” he said, so excitedly.
She turned around and smiled as soon as she saw him.
“Malcolm! How are you?”
He answered her by reaching out his arms for her to hold him just like he did when we were at the zoo yesterday. She looked up at me and I nodded that it was okay for her to take him. It would always be okay.
While Malcolm was hugging Stevie and she was hugging him, she met my gaze again and quietly said, “Hey, you.”
“Hey,you.”