“Malcolm’s soul may be old, like his grandpa’s here, and that’s what came through when he talked to you.”
“Dad, do youreallybelieve someone who has died can visit us? I know we’ve talked about Mom doing that, but sometimes I wonder if it’s all in my head. I wonder if I’m just sodesperately wanting to see Mom again, and Malcolm, that my mind manifests them whenever I’m asleep. It’s not really them in my dreams, though. It’s just me missing them, combined with my imagination, that’s made an image of them appear.”
“Yes, I really believe the soul of a loved one has the capability to visit us. It’s human nature, though, to rationalize away supernatural occurrences—which includes vivid dreams like what you’ve had, things such as my smelling your mom’s perfume in the air, and also items being moved from where IknowI put them. The thing about the spiritual realm is that our logical minds can’t make sense of it. Science can’t prove or disprove it. There are no definitive answers and I believe that’s by God’s design. What we have to do is close the door on that part of our brain that’s hellbent on making sense of something that it will never be able to make sense of. Then we have to fully open the door to our soul’s intuition, listen to what it’s telling us—and trust it.”
“Right now, mine is telling me that Mom’s soul really has come to see me in my dreams, and so has my precious son’s.”
My dad smiled and then nodded. “And my intuition is telling me that you are correct.”
I searched his blue-gray eyes and thought to myself how much my mom would’ve loved to have heard everything that he’d just said to me. He spoke like she used to about the spiritual realm and listening to our intuition. Not once, though, had he ever addressed those topics from his church pulpit, because they were thought to be New Age, too out there, too controversial, and too dangerous by the Christian body.
It had always been a fine line that my dad walked being a pastor who not only believed in the supernatural but was also married to a woman who very much did. I could so clearly remember all the stories that my mom shared with me about the beliefs and practices of our ancestors. She said their religionwas the “Old Religion” which honored the spiritual realm, and another facet of it was living in tune with nature, the seasons, and the moon cycle. My mom used to privately laugh at people who believed doing all of that was something new when it was actually so ancient.
“I’m curious about something,” I said to my dad.
“What are you curious about?”
“If you noticed what’s sitting on the nightstand next to my bed.”
“I did notice it, and I think Malcolm’s urn is exactly where it should be. Close to his mother when she’s resting at night.”
“Since it’s just me now, I felt comfortable setting it out in the open instead of having it put up in my closet like at my old house.”
“I know Graham didn’t like seeing it.”
“No, he didn’t. Not at all. It has never bothered me, though, because it’s all that I have left of Malcolm.”
My dad rubbed my shoulder again and then we went back to eating our dinner. When we were done, I surprised him by pulling the key lime pie out of the fridge.
“Is that what I think it is?”
I chuckled. “Yes.”
“Given the chance, I’ll eat that whole thing, daughter.”
“Let me have one slice of it and the rest is yours.”
‘No, but I will take a large slice, please.”
“And what hasn’t been eaten by tomorrow, you’re taking home with you.”
“Deal.”
After slicing two large portions of the pie and putting them onto dessert plates, I sat back down at the dining room table with my dad and we began savoring the tart sweet treat. That and also another glass of Pinot Grigio for him and another Hendricks and tonic for me. When we were done eating, Ibrought up something that I was compelled to talk about because my dad and I had discussed Malcolm.
“I know it’s really soon for me to say what I’m about to say to you, considering how little time has passed since my marriage with Graham ended, but I have to say what’s on my heart.”
“By all means, Stevie. What is it?”
“I’ve wondered if I’m ever gonna get another shot at marriage and having a child. I wanted so much to be a wife and a mother. I wanted a sweet little family of my own and still do.”
“I know you do and yes, you’ll get another shot at marriage and having a child. You forget how young you are and how many years of living are ahead of you.”
“Some days, I feel so much older than thirty, though.”
“Like my age?” My dad chuckled and then so did I.
“You know what I mean.”