1
#choices
Stevie
“WE CAN DOthis the hard way or the easy way, Graham. Your choice. If you choose to take this to court though, I’m gonna fuck you over in every way that I can. You know—since you fucked me over by fucking someone else. And you can bet on me embarrassing the hell out of you too,” I said.
“I’m not taking this to court. I just wanna be free of you, Stevie, so draw up the divorce papers and I’ll sign them. Take everything. I do not care.”
I glared at Graham and he glared at me. He was furious and so was I, and we were both done with our ten-year marriage. He and I were hurting so much but for completely different reasons. And Graham’s reasons? They were something that I’d never be able to accept because if I did, then I’d be giving him a pass for what he did.
After I confronted him with the evidence of his affair only minutes ago, he’d looked me straight in the eye, owned up to it, and then accused me of neglecting him, emotionally and physically. He also accused me of being married to my job at thedistrict attorney’s office and not to him. Those were his excuses for deciding to turn to another woman.
Graham and I had been together since we were juniors in high school. Two years after graduation, we had a gigantic wedding and everything moved in fast forward after that day. It seemed as if I’d alwaysbeen married to him and for much longer than ten years. Of course the passion in our relationship waxed and waned like the moon but that was to be expected. That was a normal occurrence in marriage as years passed by, careers took off, demands increased, etc. I didn’t neglect Graham. I gave him the best of myself all these years.
I looked at my watch and then met his glare again. “You have twenty minutes to go pack your shit and leave,” I said, feeling nauseous.
“I won’t need that much time.”
I followed Graham into our bedroom and watched him pull two of our suitcases out of the closet and begin packing them with his clothes and toiletries. While he was walking back and forth, grabbing his belongings, he kept cutting his green eyes over at me and shaking his head. I wasn’t letting up, though. He deserved how I was treating him. He’d be the same way if I’d not only had an affair but had also chosen his best friend to have it with, like he had with mine.
Graham was right about not needing the twenty minutes that I allowed him. He was done packing in less than ten. Then he walked straight up to me and looked over my face with disgust showing on his.
“I hope this wakes you up,” he said.
“Wakes me up?”
“Yes, Stevie. Wakes—you—up. You’ll eventually find someone else and when you do, I hope you treat them better than you did me. Especially during these past four years.”
I half-laughed. “Deflect and project. You are the king of that bullshit and you know it doesn’t work with me, so save your breath.”
“I’m not deflecting or projecting anything. What I said is the truth. You know exactly how you’ve been toward me and I also know exactly how I’ve been toward you. I’ve done everything that I know to do to make you happy again and nothing has worked. You’re like a robot—emotionless, no affection, thoughtless automatic replies to whatever I say to you. All business. I’ve needed you, Stevie. I’ve needed my wife. Not a goddamn roommate and that’s exactly what you became to me. You are a shell of the girl that I fell in love with and for your sake, I hope you find her again.”
I didn’t say another word because I didn’t know what else to say.
Graham stepped around me and then left our bedroom with his suitcases in hand. I continued standing where I was and waited to hear the front door slam. Once it did, I walked over to the window and watched the only man I ever loved hurry to his Chevy truck parked in the driveway. He threw his suitcases into the back, got inside the cab, and then rolled down the windows. Before he drove away, he looked back at our home and wiped his eyes. So did I. And when I could no longer see his truck in the distance, I turned around, took one step, and then fell to my knees.
Fuck my life.
2
#elixir
Stevie
“I HEAR THEice clinking in your glass from over the phone, daughter,” my dad said.
“You’re absolutely right. It is. This is my first gin and tonic of several that I plan to have today.”
“I understand why you feel like doing that, but do me a favor. Just enjoy the drink that you’re having now and talk to me.”
I took two big gulps of said drink and then a deep breath. “Okay. Well—Graham admitted to his affair with Emma and also told me that he wasn’t gonna fight me, legally. He doesn’t want anything other than to be free of me. After he said that, I told him to leave, he packed his stuff, said a few more things to me that I don’t care to talk about right now, and then he walked out the front door.”
“Did Graham say where he was planning to live?”
“No, and I didn’t ask. It’s gotta be at Emma’s, though. Common sense.”
“Let him go, Stevie. Let them both go and do whatever they feel like they need to do with their lives, and you do the same for yourself.”