“There’s a tab on the spreadsheet about this,” Jason said impatiently.
“The spreadsheet says thatgraypoop is a cause for concern, because it means the baby isn’t digesting food properly. But it doesn’t say anything about yellow.”
“Yellow is fine. Gray, or chalky poops are the only concerning ones.”
“Are you sure? I feel like you’re just trying to get me off the phone so you can get back to your lunch.”
“Trust me: lunch is officially over. Maurice? Will you talk to my sister, please?”
There was a pause, and then my brother-in-law’s chipper voice took over. “Why hello there, sweetie! Why is my husband rolling his eyes right now?”
“I had a question about baby poop. Yellow. Thoughts?”
Maurice laughed. “Oh, sweetie, that’s totally normal. Gross, but normal. Little LeBron had demons living inside his tushy, I swear. You have nothing to worry about.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. I just wanted to make sure, and I didn’t trust the internet.”
“As you shouldn’t. Now, on to more important matters: how are your firemen? Are they sweaty right now? On a scale of one to ten, tell me how sweaty they are presently.”
“Ugh, Jason told you?”
“He tells me everything, sweetie. And nowyouhave to tell me everything. There’s a polyamorous situation going on? Ooh la la!”
“Nothing is going on yet,” I replied while tossing the offending diaper. “Jordan suggested it to me. I haven’t really been thinking about it since then.”
“Three firemen make you the offer of a lifetime, and you haven’t thought about it?”Maurice asked, incredulous.
“I’ve been kind of busy with the baby. You know. The one I’m taking care of without any experience?”
He ignored me and continued on. “Do you like the other two guys?”
“I think so,” I said. “Taylor is a sweetheart. And the Chief is nice too, once you get past his gruff exterior.”
“Chief? Oh, sexy. Working your way up, huh?”
“Technically he’s just a Captain. But everyone calls him Chief.”
“Okay, so we’ve established that you like them both. Are you attracted to them?”
I laughed. “Derek’s a big, burly fireman. And Taylor is leaner than the others, but he’s stillshreddedwith muscle. I saw him coming out of the bathroom the other day with just a towel on and… mmm.”
“Then give it a try! What’s stopping you?”
I held Baby Anthony to my chest and moved the phone to my other hand. “I’m afraid it might get in the way of what I have with Jordan. It’s new and exciting and haspotential, and I don’t want to mess that up.”
“How about this,”Maurice said. He sounded like a hostage negotiator. “Go out with the other two. Give it a try. And if you don’t like it, you can always fall back to going out with Jordan exclusively. Best of both worlds!”
“Maybe,” I said doubtfully.
There was a rumble in the station. By now, I knew the sound meant that the fire engine was pulling into the garage.
“Maurice, I have to go,” I said. “Give Jason and little LeBron my love.”
“Good luck, sweetie!”
The guys undressed in the gear hallway and then came into the kitchen. Taylor grinned widely at me, then frowned and sniffed the air. “What’s that smell?”
“Did something die?” Jordan asked right behind him.