He went on in a quiet voice as if I hadn’t spoken. “We got a call to a dorm about ten years back, when I was working in Fresno. Before I got transferred here. Some college kids put a pizza in the oven and then passed out drunk. Pizza burned, then caught on fire, and eventually spread. Entire dorm went up. No fatalities, thank God, but those were some of the worst burns I’ve ever seen in my life.”
I put my hand over my mouth. “Oh wow…”
“Most ovens are safe,” he went on, gently stroking Anthony’s tendrils of black hair. “Even if there’s a fire inside the oven, they keep it contained, and don’t let it spread. But this was an old oven, and someone opened it and tried to pull the burning pizza out. Point I’m trying to make is that it’s a risk. That’s a big part of our job: educating people to minimize these kinds of risks, because they add up. Maybe I’m too sensitive to that kind of thing, and if so, I’m sorry.”
The last two words sounded like they had been yanked out of his mouth with pliers, but he had still said them. And as I looked at the mature, experienced man, I could tell he didn’t say them lightly.
“I understand,” I said. “I would be sensitive if I had experienced that, too.”
“All right, then.” Derek nodded down at the baby on his chest. “I’ve had to pee for the last half hour, but I didn’t want to disturb him.”
“I’ll take over until dinner.” I scooped up Baby Anthony gently. As I did, my fingers brushed against the hard muscles of Derek’s chest. I felt another tingle run up my spine, the same kind that had entranced me when I saw the baby on his chest in the first place.
This is a real man,I thought, tearing my eyes away from him.All three of these firemen are.
Feeling better about my relationship with Derek, I carried Baby Anthony back to the bedroom.
14
Clara
When I arrived at the firehouse on Monday night, I felt out of place. I was a visitor. An intruder. Someone who certainly didn’t belong with the three hulking, broad-shouldered men who occupied the station.
By Thursday, I felt like one of the guys.
Everyone was friendly. Even Derek, once we broke the ice about the oven incident. He wasn’t as cheerful as Taylor or as caring as Jordan, but he was friendly in his own way.
For the first time since moving home to Riverville, I was excited about what I was doing. And not just because it meant hanging out with the three sexy firemen. I actually enjoyed taking care of Baby Anthony. It was fulfilling in a way I had never experienced before. A maternal program in my brain had clicked on, and it was running around the clock now. Even when one of the guys had the baby, I found myself thinking about him in a protective way.
Mom called that afternoon. “When can I come see your baby!”she demanded.
“It’s notmybaby,” I replied. “And you can’t come see him. We’re trying to keep this a secret, Mom. Just for the time being.”
“You have the baby, so for now? It is your baby!”she insisted. “Which makes him my grandson, even just for now! I want to see him!”
I started to tell her that seeing him would make it difficult for her when we had to turn him over to Social Services. That’s when I realized it might be tough formewhen we got to that point. I had only been around him for a few days, but I was already attached to the little guy. I smiled sadly at him in his basket, and he grinned back at me and wiggled his pudgy little toes.
“How’s the restaurant?” I asked Mom instead. “You’re getting by without me?”
“Is no problem,” Mom replied. “Angelina works very hard. Harder than you. She is very fast on deliveries! No flirting with firemen, hah!”
“Gee, thanks for that, Mom,” I replied. “I don’t know what’s happening this weekend, but I’ll probably swing by to get more things.”
“Swing by with baby!”she said happily.
The thought tormented me as I changed Anthony’s diaper that evening. What happened if I grew too attached to the little guy? When I was ten years old, Mom let me adopt a kitten from the animal shelter. I got to keep him for two weeks. Then Jason came home from summer camp, and we discovered that he wasdeathlyallergic to cats. I was certain that we should give Jason up instead of the kitten, but I failed to convince my parents.
Giving up that cat was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Sure, it seems like no big deal now, and I know that he went to a good home, but I remember howdevastatedI felt at the time. Like someone had ripped out a chunk of my heart.
Deep down, I knew that giving up a baby would be much,muchharder. Even though I knew little Anthony wasn’t really mine, and even though I had known from the start that this was only temporary. After three days with him, I truly felt like I loved him.
I can’t think about that now,I told myself while mixing baby formula into a bottle.All I can do is focus on the task at hand.
We fell into a routine with the baby. I watched him most of the time, but the guys chipped in plenty of other times. “We brought you in tohelpus, not to do all of the work by yourself,” Jordan told me that evening. “I don’t mind watching him while you jump in the shower.”
I brushed my lips against his. “I promise not to take too long. I’m not washing my hair.”
“Really?” Jordan asked, confused. “Then what’s the point?”