“Cassandra, I’ve wanted you for years.” I don’t exactly mean to say it. I’ve tread so carefully around her for a very long time, always painfully aware of her position within Olympus and her desire to keep as far away from the Thirteen and their political games—from us—as possible.
But IlikeCassandra. It crept up on me slowly, but that’s how it works with me. Emotions and caring come first, and desire follows. How could I not care for her? She’s smart and savvy and prickly, and she might not think I’ve noticed all the sacrifices she’s made for her sister, but how could I spend any amount of time around her with falling, at least a little bit?
Shock stills her, but not for long. “Gods, Apollo.” She exhales in a shaky laugh. “You’re serious.”
It’s too late to walk it back now. Besides, I don’t want to lie to her. “Yes.”
“You know what?” She eases back to the couch, opening up the tiniest bit of distance between us. My arms shake with the desire to close it, but I force them still. Cassandra rewards me a heartbeat later when she snakes her hands between our bodies and presses her palm to my stomach. “I’m only in Olympus for another week.”
“I’m aware,” I grit out.
She strokes me with her fingertips almost idly, as if she doesn’t care about the very real danger of me losing it from this touch alone. “What if we…made it real? The sex, I mean. Not the dating for obvious reasons.”
Disappointment I have no right to feel takes root in my chest. Of course she wouldn’t want to date me for real. Asking something like that is absurd; as she said, she’s leaving in a week. Inviting her to be my girlfriend in any real way during that time is unfair.
If this were a month ago—a week ago—I wouldn’t say yes. I would tell her that I want all of her or nothing at all. That I don’t operate like that; I don’t have casual sex with people I don’t care about. Sex means something to me.Cassandrameans something to me. She has for some time.
Am I willing to compound the pain of her leaving for the pleasure of having more of her now?
I know the answer even before I finish thinking the question. Of course I am. If the pain is inevitable, then at least I’ll have these moments to look back on, no matter how bittersweet. I swallow hard. “I don’t want to pressure you.”
“You couldn’t if you tried.” She moves her hand to my stomach and dips her fingertips beneath the band of my lounge pants. “Can I touch you, Apollo?”
I can’t help feeling like I’m damning us both. I should be the one to put on the brakes here, but I want her too desperately to be logical. When I speak, my voice goes low and commanding. “Do it.”
15
Cassandra
I start to slide my hand into Apollo’s pants, but he says, “Wait.” I freeze, suddenly sure that this strange moment has passed and he’s going to call a stop to the whole thing. Instead, he leans down, careful to maintain the distance and not crush my arm, and speaks directly into my ear. “Give me a safe word.”
I want to argue out of habit, but there’s nothing wrong with having a word just between us that means everything stops. I’ve used one before and I’ll no doubt use one again. More, I like that he’s setting that boundary very clearly to keep us both safe. I lick my lips. “Python.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Very well.” His lips brush my ear, my jaw, the corner of my mouth. “Touch me, Cassandra.”
This time, he doesn’t stop me as I slide my hands into his lounge pants and wrap them around his cock. I felt him earlier, of course, but there’s something about his length filling my hand that makes my breath catch in my chest. I stroke him lightly, teasingly. “All this for me?”
“Just for you.” His arms shake a little where they’re pressed against my sides. “I’m going to kiss you now. Give me your mouth.” It’s not a request, but he gives me a bare moment to protest. I don’t. Of course I don’t. I’ve been thinking about our last kiss since it happened, replaying it in my mind more times than I’ll ever admit aloud.
Apollo kisses me as if divining every facet of my taste. Short, drugging kisses that distract me so much, I forget to keep stroking him. Instead, I chase him every time he retreats, little whimpering protests slipping past my lips, only for him to take my mouth again, longer this time.
He reaches between us to clasp my wrist in a firm grip and lift my hand to press to the couch beside my head. Apollo doesn’t break our kiss as he does the same with my other hand. I might complain about not being able to touch him, but he chooses that moment to lower himself onto me, pressing me into the couch. My brain shorts out. It’s been so long since I allowed anyone close enough to be like this. I’m starved for more…forhim.
He breaks the kiss slowly but doesn’t move away. “Tell me how to make you feel good, Cassandra.” Again, there’s no question in his voice, no invitation to argue. He’s commanding in that quiet, stern way of his.
“This feels good.”
“Mmm.” He thrusts against me slowly and lets out a tortured groan. “Too good.” He hooks the back of my neck and pulls me up as he shifts back. I barely have a chance to process the fact that we’re changing positions when he sits me up on the couch and kneels between my thighs. I reach for him, but he shakes his head and grabs my wrists in that same firm grip. He presses them to the couch on either side of my hips. “If you touch me, this will end too quickly.”
Surely he doesn’t mean he wants me so much, he’s about to come sooner than he’d like to? I thought he was joking when he said it before. I almost laugh, but my entire body shakes like a leaf over the fact that we’re here and we’re doing this. If he wants me even half as badly as I want him, then maybe it’s best I keep my hands to myself.
For now.
Apollo lifts his hands slowly, making a satisfied noise when I keep mine where he placed them. “Good girl.” I can barely processthatwhen he clasps my knees and gently presses them wider. The bottoms of my pajamas gape. He stares at the juncture of my thighs with an intensity that makes me squirm.
He coasts his hands slowly up my thighs, guiding them wider yet, until his thumbs brush the lace hem of the pajamas. “I’m going to touch you now.”
I exhale shakily. “You don’t have to narrate every move before you do it.”