I was so screwed.
ChapterSeventeen
DEVAN
“See you tomorrow, Mr. Mayson,”Elise from Accounts cooed, and I gave her a tight grin while internally groaning. I was going to have to get her transferred, or talk to Carol in HR. Psychological studies show that bonding during high-stress workplace situations is akin to that of sexual relationships. It’s why so many people marry—or fuck—their work colleagues. Throw in the fact that most office workers see each other more than their family or friends, and it’s no wonder that one in every three employees would sleep with a coworker.
Add in a boss who kept getting added to those dumb fucking eligible bachelor lists, and it was a fucking minefield. A stress I didn’t want or need. I would never in a million years date a damn employee. Not Elise. Not my secretary. Not Carol in HR, who was actually fifty-three with three grandchildren and a CPA as a husband.
I grunted goodbye to Elise and moved back into my office, shutting the door. I was done for the day, even though I often worked late. I didn’t examine why I suddenly wanted to rush home at 5 p.m. every day. Probably to see Huey, because he seemed to grow bigger and bigger every time I looked at him.
It definitely didn’t have anything to do with his pretty guardian. Or the fact she’d been so damn sad today in that park. I’d wanted to destroy that old bitch who’d made Nova cry. It had been an urge so visceral; it had poured through my veins like acid. That in itself scared me. I knew Rigby thought I was aloof—he always teased me about being the tin man—but it was only because if I didn’t keep a firm control of my emotions, I knew where they could lead me.
I still had nightmares about the things that had happened when my father lost control of his emotions. When he was strung out and in his psychosis if he couldn’t get a fix. I couldn’t blame the drugs, though; my earliest memories were of him screaming at me.
I wouldn’t walk in my father’s footsteps. I’d keep it under control. Which meant it was best if I felt nothing at all.
I nodded to my personal assistant, a financial aid kid who’d done an MBA and who would’ve been paying off his debts for the next thirty years if it weren’t for this job. I wasn’t giving him a free ride; he worked fucking hard for the six-figure salary I gave him. But I also knew he had a mom and three younger sisters that he helped support and put through college. I liked him.
Taking the elevator down to the parking garage, I breathed a sigh of relief that no one hopped in with me. If I had to pretend to write emails to avoid small talk, I would, and my reputation as a hard-hearted ice monster really didn’t need much more evidence.
Pulling my Porsche keys from my pocket, I folded my body into the seat. Most CEOs at my level had a driver, but honestly, I couldn’t stand the idea of giving up control to another person. I drove my sports cars so everyone just thought I was vain, and no one ever questioned me. Not that I didn’t like my classic Carrera 911, but I wasn’t the Car Guy everyone seemed to think I was.
Pulling out of the parking garage, I navigated through the peak hour traffic with growing annoyance. It gave me too much time to think. Normally, I would’ve thought about work, or it used to be about Alana and Huey, or River’s pesky knee injury, or a hard hit one of the guys had taken that week.
Now, the only thing that snuck into my thoughts washer.The girl I couldn’t have. Somehow, that just made me want her more.
Growling out a frustrated noise, I smacked my hand on the steering wheel and turned up the radio. It was ridiculous talkback radio, but it did its job of distracting me.
When I pulled into the garage at home, I took a moment to center myself. Grabbing my briefcase with a couple of business case studies I wanted to go over this week, I climbed from my car. I didn’t bother putting on my suit jacket again, instead just strolling into the house through the garage door.
And stopping dead.
Holy. Shit.
Nova had dressed up to go to dinner at Muss’s house. She looked… breathtaking. Her dark brown hair was curled lightly, hanging down her back in shiny, soft waves. She was wearing a sundress in a burnt orange color, making her golden skin look radiant. It had tiny buttons all the way down the front, hitting her mid-thigh, and I wanted to undo every single one of those buttons with my teeth.
I clenched my jaw as she turned in my direction and smiled so widely, I could barely breathe. “You’re home! Look how cute Huey is in his outfit,” she said excitedly, lifting Huey up. I couldn’t help but smile. He did look fucking cute in a little pair of dark shorts with attached suspenders, and a tiny bow tie that clipped onto his blue button-up.
Studiously not looking in Nova’s direction, I held my hands out. “Looking dapper, little guy,” I cooed, and he grinned at me, melting my heart again. He did it every single time. Kid was going to give me cavities, he was so damn sweet.
Nova grinned, her eyes trained on the baby too. Then she let out a little gasp. “Wait, wait!” She disappeared for a moment, returning with a tiny pair of socks shaped like black high-top Converse sneakers.
“Did you turn our son into a hipster?”
She froze. I froze. It had slipped out, but I refused to take it back. Hewasour kid. My son. Her son. River’s son. Maybe not by blood, but in every other way that counted. He would be raised with so many parental figures, he’d know nothing but love. I wanted him to know that this wasn’t some kind of game, that we trulywantedhim. Her too—I wanted her to know that we wanted him. I didn’t want her to walk away in three months.
And not just because of Huey.
Nova cleared her throat. “Well, this is his first dinner party, I think. We went all out.”
I nodded, forcing myself to look up into her pretty hazel eyes. “He looks great. You both do.” She flushed pink, and I decided that was my cue to get the hell out of here before I made this even more awkward. I handed Huey back to her. “I’ll just run upstairs and get ready. I’ll be down in twenty.”
Racing upstairs, I was already unbuttoning my shirt before I made it to my ensuite. I’d been on edge all day when it came to the woman downstairs, and I had to do something about it before I exploded and did something stupid. I really needed to get laid. ASAP.
As I climbed into the shower, I wrapped my hand around my cock almost immediately. Seeing her, all beautiful and happy, brought back what I thought I’d heard last night. I’d tried to convince myself I’d been hallucinating. That she’d just been sleeping, or talking on the phone, or doing anything but what I thought she’d been doing.
Touching herself.