My sister and I both enter the formal dining room at the same time. She runs into Carlo’s arms like a child who got offered a piece of candy.
The staff have set up the table with white rose petals placed evenly on the forest green table runner.
I hate calling themstaffbecause that’s not how I see them. They have been in our family for years. Especially Balenca. Sometimes she acts like my sister, and other times she acts like a second mother to me. It’s funny, really.
She walks over to me, pouring my favorite drink in a large, rounded glass. “Thank you, Balenca.”
“Of course, baby.”
I shoot her a soft smile. Her hair is shaped in a bob cut. I have never seen anyone pull off the look like she can.
Papa sits on the opposite side of Mama, and Ana finds her seat next to her husband, leaving one empty chair for me to sit next to the man I think I pissed off an hour ago.
I pull out the chair and take a seat, feeling his eyes roaming over my exposed chest.
My lungs expand as I try to take a deep breath to calm down. My hands are beginning to sweat.
“Shall we get started?” Papa asks everyone as the staff bring in the food I helped cook earlier.
“So glad we can eat here together as a family now,” my mama says, biting into a pierogi, the food she is known for.
I hesitate to eat my food as I feel myself about to say something I will regret.
“Not everyone here is family,” I finally say while biting down on the fork.
Mama chokes on her wine, sounding like she almost spit it out.
“Manners,” Papa says. “Giovanni is connected to our family now through Carlo.” He tilts his head toward Carlo in approval. “Matter-a-fact, he has been family for quite some time now. It would be in your best interests to accept that.”
I bite back any harsher words I want to say; I know not to test my limits with my papa. If he weren’t here, I would probably keep pushing because that’s just what I do.
My father sends me a glare of disapproval over the table as I lift the glass of red wine to my lips.
I look down instantly.
It’s hard to look at him anymore. Before he decided to arrange a marriage between me and Kirill Stepanov, I thought he respected me.
One gulp of wine turns into three—then six as I try to get his motives out of my head.
I will never forget the first time I knew my father was not a good person. He came to visit us here in the new house when I was six. I had a terrifying nightmare and came rushing into their bedroom. He held a gun at me as I opened their door; Mama was screaming at him, telling him to stop and put the gun down, but he didn’t. It’s almost as if he wanted to shoot me even though he knew who I was.
I didn’t think anything of it because I thought he was just protecting her. Maybe he thought I was a stranger breaking into the house. I felt proud of him even if I was the one he almost shot.
“Ah! Nina, do you remember Katie from high school?” my sister says, breaking my intruding thoughts.
“Yes.” I put the glass back down on the table before I shatter it with my grip.
“Yeah, she got busted for having weed on her while driving to work.” My sister sounds proud that she knows what our old friends are up to. Like getting caught with weed is a serious crime compared to the things the men around us have done.
“Oh, wow. What does she do, again?”
“I think she works at the hospital.” Ana’s eyebrows raise, trying to pull me into the conversation I’m trying my hardest to care about.
The only thing that interests me is the fact Katie works at the hospital. I used to dream about going off to college, but I would never be allowed to. I had two years to do a lot of things with my life, but if I’m being honest, the only thing I can even remember is volunteering at an art studio.
I met two of my best friends there, but I haven’t talked to them in a while. This is the easiest way to cut ties with my old life. I say “best friends,” but they don’t feel like that anymore. The closest I have ever been to anyone is Madeleine and Savini. They’re like sisters to me.
Even in school I wasn’t able to make many friends. When I was a junior, Mama unenrolled my sister and me and made us get our diplomas online. Something about howthe risks are too high.