She had love issues, trust issues, being disappointed and being abandoned issues.
Frankly, she was a lot to handle.
Irritated with the longing she felt somewhere deep in her heart, she flung back the covers, walked over to the free-standing club chair and pulled Cole’s long-sleeved T-shirt over her head. After shoving her arms into the too-long sleeves, she buried her nose in the neck band, inhaling his scent. She had to find out what cologne he used—it was super-sexy and, oh, so Cole. She closed her eyes, lifted his shirt over her mouth and breathed deeply again.
‘Are you having a relationship with my shirt?’
Her eyes flew open to see Cole standing in the doorway, holding two cups of coffee, amusement dancing in his eyes. He wore black, straight-legged track pants and a fresh, long-sleeved cream T-shirt that fell down his chest and over his stomach. It also highlighted the muscles in his big arms.
She dropped the neck of the T-shirt, wishing she could control her blush. ‘I just like the way you smell,’ she admitted.
‘Good to know,’ he told her, walking towards her and holding out a mug. Lex gratefully accepted the mug and wrapped her hands around it. She jumped a little when Cole dropped a kiss on her head, unused to casual affection and surprised to realise how much she liked it.
Feeling a little embarrassed, Lex walked over to the tall window and looked down the valley, which was covered in a thick layer of snow. It looked like a Christmas card, the snow a glittering white carpet. ‘Wow.’
‘There’s a better view from the adjoining sitting room.’ Cole nodded to the door to her right. Lex walked through into a room with two glass walls forming the corner of the room and giving them a one-eighty-degree view of the valley spread out below them. A white lounging bed sat diagonally across the corner, and Lex could see herself lying there with a blanket over her knees, watching the snow drift past. Or sleeping with a puppy tucked into her legs, or lying there naked, her hand on her belly, swollen with a baby...
Longing swept over her, not so much for the gorgeous room in a lovely hotel, or for the view. It was a longing for what she couldn’t have, what she wouldn’t have for years, if ever: peace, tranquillity, quiet...stability. Time on her own, a life of her own. A baby and a place of her own...
What was wrong with her? It was a room—one of the nicest she’d ever seen, but still a room—and not a dream chamber!
Cole walked into the room and sat down on the edge of the lounger, and when she joined him there he put his free hand on her knee. ‘That’s some view,’ he admitted. ‘This is a very pretty place.’
Lex leaned into him just a little. ‘My sisters would love this,’ she admitted. Yes, she’d told herself she wouldn’t think about them, but they were a huge part of her life and she couldn’t help it.
They were a part of her and always would be.
Cole half-turned to face her. ‘Tell me how you came to have them, Lex. In fact, go back further...’
‘That’s a long story,’ she murmured, wanting to open up but scared that she’d tell him more than she should, more than she’d told anyone before.
He lifted his coffee cup. ‘This is a big cup of coffee and I’m not going anywhere until it’s done.’
Well, then.She looked out of the window and wondered where to start. ‘I told you how they came to live with us, how much of a free spirit my mum was.’ She wrapped her hands around her mug and sipped. ‘We bounced from house to house, depending on what boyfriend was willing to house her, her blonde-haired angel and her red-haired brat. Life with Joelle was...unstable.’
Cole held up a hand. ‘Wait, back up. What did you mean by that “red-haired brat” statement? Did your mother not like your looks?’
‘Not liking my looks was a very tame way of putting it,’ Lex said, trying to keep her tone level as old hurts washed over her. Still after all this time, despite the work she’d done to come to terms with Joelle’s cruelty, she felt small and vulnerable.
‘Tell me, Lex.’
‘When I was five, she told me that my face looked like someone had thrown dirt at it and stained it. By six, I suspected I was ugly. By seven, thanks to Joelle’s comments, I believed I was.’
‘The last thing you are is ugly, Lex,’ Cole informed her, his voice hard and tinged with anger. Not at her, but at her mother and her casual cruelty.
‘I know that now. But, when you are a young child with bright-red hair and a face full of freckles, when you look so very different, it’s easy to believe what you are told. Especially when your mother constantly tells you how pretty your blonde sister is, and how angelic she looks. I was bullied at school. I had no friends and I wanted to be anyone but me.’
‘Go on, Lex.’
Lex tapped her finger against the cup. ‘So, one summer holiday, Joelle decided that it was time to dye my hair. We had no money, so she bought a cheap dye kit which turned my hair neon-orange. Tom, Storm’s dad, sent me money to go to the hairdresser and the choice was to either dye my hair blonde or shave it off. I went for blonde and I remained a blonde for the next decade or so. I also used foundation to cover my freckles. My efforts paid off because my mum started calling me pretty.’
Cole released a low growl, picked up a bright curl, wound it around his finger and rubbed the ends between his fingers. ‘Obviously that phase ended. What changed?’
She lifted her mug to her mouth, took a sip and smiled. ‘Actually, that relates to your original question about how Nixi and Snow came to live with us.’
‘I’m listening,’ Cole assured her again and everything about his body language said that he was. His eyes didn’t leave her face and his hand on her thigh was a connection she badly needed. ‘Long story long...when I was sixteen and Addi seventeen, Joelle dumped us with a great-aunt and forgot to collect us, which was a blessing in disguise. Addi and I adored Aunt Kate and we loved living with her. Shortly after I turned twenty-one, Aunt Kate died of a massive heart attack, but she left her house to Addi and me.’
‘Giving you the stability, you craved,’ Cole murmured.