Ria: My rate’s gone up to account for being ghosted.
Forest: Why? You still get paid the same whether I’m there or not, don’t you?
Ria: Yes, but I’m not in this work solely for the money. I get fulfillment out of it. I don’t get fulfillment from turning up and waiting outside an empty office for an hour.
I was stunned. I hadn’t expected this from her.
Ria: By the way, your receptionist Jenni is very nice. She deserves a raise.
Forest: She gets paid well.
Ria: Not enough.
Not enough to deal with the likes of me, I presumed.
Forest: Fine. I’ll pay whatever it is you ask.
Ria: Excellent :) Name your time and date.
Forest: Let’s try Monday again. Same time. Invoice me and I’ll get it paid today.
I received her invoice five minutes later. She’dtripledher rate. The absolute cheek of it! Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but applaud her audacity. And find it slightly attractive. No, very attractive. By all accounts she should be begging for my custom and here she was, doing everything to put me off. Just out of... spite?
I did everything but chain myself to my office chair on Monday to make sure I didn’t chicken out of the appointment. I canceled everything else I had on that day, set my out of office auto-responder and voicemail, and informed Mandy to take care of any business that arose. I sensed that Ria’s services were something that I needed, that I was lacking any introspection in my life. I also desperately wanted to see her.
Why was I so scared? Well, it had been a long time until anyone had had the effect on me that Ria had had. And not just that – I was dimly aware that I feared what lay beneath if I dared to scratch the surface of my family history, and my feelings pertaining to it. But my motto was generally – if it scared me, that meant I had to do it.
When we were both learning the ropes of our Brock careers, my brother Jude had told me about how he used fear to his advantage during his time as a Navy SEAL. As someone who had once considered myself a shy, retiring type, stuck behind a computer screen, his words had transformed how I felt about the role I was forced to inhabit. Truly, fear was a weapon as much as it was a freeze-ray. It just depended on how you handled it.
A knock came at the door. I took off the imaginary chains tying me to my office chair and rose to open the door.
There was Ria Moon, resplendent in an orange suit with a mustard weave shirt, her hair tied into two long braids that hung over her shoulders. Her style today reminded me that we were from two different generations. I was, by general metrics, old. And she was in the prime of her youth, glowing and vivacious. Our difference gave me comfort, somehow. We were from different worlds. Worlds that could only meet in a setting such as this – professional. We were professionals, having a professional appointment. All was well. She certainly didn’t make all the hairs on my neck and arms stand up just to look at her. Because I was a professional.
“Come in, Ria.” I stepped back and gestured to the chair that faced mine, across the desk.
She stepped in and looked around the room. “There are a lot of computers.”
“You do know what industry I work in, yes?”
She smiled. “I’m vaguely aware. You use this thing called a mouse...”
“Take a seat.”
Ria sat, but she was still looking around at all of the screens. “Do you ever turn these off?”
“No, not really.”
“Well, can you for our session? If we’re going to move your brain from its rational side into a more intuitive mode, a change of scenery might be nice.”
For some reason, the thought of turning them off scared me. Luckily, I had an idea. “I’ve got something better. One second.”
I switched open the master software that controlled the screens, scrolled through some options and found what I was looking for. I clicked, and all of the screens were replaced by a realistic night sky.
“A screensaver?”
“A bit more elaborate than that. I’d have called it video artistry. But sure, a screensaver. Sets the mood, doesn’t it?”
“Sure.” She smiled. “Music?”