He threw his head back and laughed. I’d been traumatized by everything that had happened in New York and numbed by taciturn, enigmatic men who were impossible to read. I’d nearly forgotten that ordinary people laughed and joked. Hell, they even smiled occasionally.
“That’s okay. I made it for you, so I’m glad you like it.”
“You did?”
“Yes, I did. I’m still on a mission to figure out your favorite dish,” he said, leaning a hip against the counter as I backed away and went to grab a glass of water. “Why don’t you let me take you out for a meal and make it your favorite cuisine to give me a clue.”
I grinned at him. “You don’t need to go that far. I can just tell you—”
“Maybe I want to,” Leo said, closer than he’d been a second ago.
Worry blossomed in my gut.No, please don’t.
I stepped away, putting a firm distance between us to show my boundaries.“No need. I like Indian food. The spicier, the better.”
“Indian? Damn, I think I’ve tried everything except that so far,” Leo sighed, taking the hint to stay back. He folded his arms and leaned back, giving me a contemplative look.“We could still go out for that dinner,” he suggested, but something in his tone hinted he knew it wasn’t going to happen.
“But who will Fred eat with? I couldn’t do that to my buddy,” I said, my tone carefully light.
Leo nodded, dropping my gaze to look down at his boots. “You know, I held off when you first came because you’d obviously been through something bad. I got that. But we’re months into this thing now, Molly, and I’m beginning to think you’re not going to get over whoever sent you here anytime soon.”
I cleared my throat, perilously close to crying for the fifth time today. “I’m not. I don’t know if I ever will, to be honest.”
Leo looked at me, raising his expressive eyebrows again. There was disappointment, surprise, and something else that hurt to see in his eyes. Pity. Leo pitied me.
“Ever? That’s a damn long time, Molly.”
“It is, but it’s not a choice or something I can control. I’m missing a vital piece. I left my heart behind, and I don’t think it’s coming back unless I go back there and get it.”
“Do you think about going back?”
“Only every day. But that’s not possible.” It was good to admit that.
Leo and Fred didn’t know I was pregnant. Thankfully, I shouldn’t be in danger of showing too soon. I was only about eleven weeks. It was still too early to tell if it would last. All the websites I’d read suggested not getting your hopes up before twelve weeks.
Leo cleared his throat, sensing my attention had wandered. “Well, whatever you do, I’m sure you’ll have a home here with Fred whenever you need it.”
“Are you trying to get me out of your hair already?” I teased, trying to change the subject. As always, thoughts of New York threatened to envelop me in a black cloud of anger, resentment, and heartbreak.
“You know I’m not. I just wanted to say that when you’re ready, I’m here,” Leo said finally. He was handsome and kind, with one of those faces that looked ready to smile at any time.
“Don’t wait for me, Leo. You’ll be disappointed,” I heard myself say. He was too a nice guy to lead on. “Even when I’m over it, I think I’m done with dating.”
“So, you expect a marriage proposal or nothing, is that it?” Leo teased me.
His words loosened the tightness in my chest that rose whenever my mind skirted near to Kirill.
I laughed and rolled my eyes. “That’s right. Propose or get lost. Now, shall I set the table?”
* * *
I engagedin the most dangerous and stressful part of my week on Sundays. I made a call that walked a fine line between risky but worth it and bat shit insane.
The weather outside was terrible, a wet and windy spring day. I was tired. The morning sickness had only worsened, and I was officially having a problem keeping food down. Some women improved in later trimesters, and I hoped I’d be one of them.
I wrapped up and headed to a small park in the residential area near Fred’s house. I took out my burner phone and called the only number programmed there. It was risky, but it had been two months, and Kirill hadn’t appeared to drag me back to New York, so it had to be working.
Princess, why do you think I’d bother? You abandoned me again, and I went ahead and got married. You should see my wife . . . I have no need for you anymore, Molly.