He tries to turn to face me, his tongue trying to wet his dry lips, but I grip his shirt and force him to keep his eyes on Selena.
“Don’t stop watching now, hitchhiker,” I snarl. “This is what you wanted to see, so get a good fucking eyeful now.”
My skin burns hot with anger. White-hot rage blinds me.
Selena looks at me, and her loose lips tighten. She knows. She tries to speak, but it’s too late.
I grip both sides of his head and snap his neck. The thunderouscrackbreaks the silence of the cabin. His death is instantaneous.
She releases a scream I’ve only heard in her most intense moments of fear. It’s not from someone trying to assault her or kill her. It’s from a fear of me and what I’ve done.
Well, Lexington, but for all intents and purposes, it was me.
“Lex!” she yells. “What the fuck?”
I want to go to her, but the anger and fear in her eyes hold me back. This is why Selena isn’t safe with me. I’m not always in control. Lexington does all the horrible things to people.
I inhale a sharp breath because I know I’m lying to myself. I’ve done really horrible shit as Lex, too, but not to her.
Again, I’m not being truthful. I’ve done some shitty things to her, and I can’t blame those things on the man I used to be.
The man that Iam.
“Bunny,” I say, but her panicked breaths wash my voice away. She’s crying, afraid to even look at the man she invited into the truck.
I finally step into her and fist her hair to force her to look at him. “This is who I am, Selena. Unpredictable. Dangerous. If I was a fucking dog, they’d put me to sleep. The courts would have loved to give me that sentence, but I lived in a state that didn’t believe in capital punishment, even though I deserved that. I still deserve that.” My darkened eyes bore into hers. “What I don’t deserve is you.”
“This is all my fault,” she says through sobs. “He died because of me.”
I should tell her it’s not her fault. But it is. “You’re right, Selena. But it’smyfault for letting you talk me into it. I knew the moment he sat in the truck that he wouldn’t leave the cabin alive. I refuse to risk anyone else finding out about where we’re staying.” My words make her cry harder. “But you can’t help being who you are just as much as I can’t help being who I am. I’m a person capable of punishing someone for even thinking about what’s mine.” I shake my head. I pull the truck key from my back pocket and throw it on the table beside her. “I’m going to go take care of this. I expect you to be gone when I get back.”
“Wh-what?” she stammers.
She has to leave. Everything that has happened to us since I took her has been because of me. The situationsI’veput her in. I can’t keep doing this. She’s not safe with me.
No one is.
“I can’t create a life that is safe enough for you. It’s not possible. Wecan’tplay house anymore, Selena. You have to leave.”
“Lex—”
“Now!” I snap, loud enough to startle her. “If you’re not gone by the time I get back, you won’t like how I get rid of you.”
Like a screw twisting into my heart, it hurts to say these things to her, but if I have to take some pain for her to be safe, so be it.
I’ve been through worse.
I grab the man’s arms and drag him toward the back of the cabin. I look at the kid and wonder where he came from and where he was going. I wish I’d asked more about him. Maybe it would have kept me from doing what I did. But a large part of me knows it wouldn’t have mattered. I still would have killed him, even if his body had a backstory attached to it. Now it’s just a body that I have to get rid of because I let him inside the truck in the first place.
Because I listened to the pleas of a kind little rabbit.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Selena
Nothing about tonight should have surprised me. Lex is unpredictable. He’s always been unpredictable, but he surprised me when he let Jamie watch us. It didn’t surprise me when he came to his senses and killed him, though. It was a pendulum, a moment of pleasure before a man was murdered.
The back door slams, and I go to the sink to wash everything off me. My come, Lex’s come, the guilt. The way I don’t even think about the key on the table until I dry myself off and walk back to my discarded jeans. I put on my pants and stare at the Ford keychain.