How fucked up am I?
I can't stop the emotions plaguing me. And I'm going to end up losing him anyway. Adrenaline's coursing through me, thanks to that damn vibrator having a field day with my body. I can hardly catch my breath to stop my uncontrollable sobs.
Somewhere amid the chaos, Riggs releases me. He carries me to the bed, then holds my head to his chest.
Is his heart racing, or is it mine?
"Shh," he murmurs.
It's all too much. I don't expect his affection. It's another example of how he's a master of confusion. He seamlessly morphs from cruel to kind, and my head constantly spins from it.
And I wish I didn't still want him. I wish I could somehow use his cruelty against him and walk away. Yet even in my distress, rule fourteen never leaves my mind. It tortures me.
I lift my head, blinking through my tears, but his face is blurry. I choke out in a whisper, "Let me submit."
His body stiffens. He slides his palm on my cheek, and I close my eyes, trying to regain my composure.
He glides his thumbs under my eyes and gives me a few minutes. When he finally comes clearly into view, I stare at him, scared this is it and I've screwed up beyond repair.
He keeps his voice steady, ordering, "Kiss me, pet. Touch me how you want."
Master of confusion does it again. I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out.
He repeats, in a firmer tone, "I said to kiss me."
My hands tremble. I slide them up his chest, then neck, until my fingers entwine his hair. My pulse beats wild. I push my knees next to his hips and slowly move closer to his lips.
His hot breath merges with mine. The blues in his eyes swirl, making me think about calm chaos. My mouth melts against his, our tongues rapidly creating an intense fire, blazing out of control.
His hand weaves through my hair, holding my head firmly to him. His palm grasps my ass, tugging me closer.
I lift my pelvis, and he repositions his hand on my hip, shoving me over his erection until I've taken all of him.
His groan competes with my moan. The pressure of the vibrator against his body makes it all more intense.
My tremors continue, and I already know I'm coming, but I still blurt out, "Please let me come!"
Maybe he knows I'm already there. Perhaps he's aware there's no stopping the earthquake within me. But he breaks from my lips, asserting, "As much as you want, pet," before coming back for more and spinning me until I'm lying on my back.
He cages himself over me, slowing down his thrusts, nibbling on my shoulder, sucking on my breasts, tugging on my hair, and squeezing my neck underneath my collar.
Every adjustment he makes creates a new frenzy within me. My cries are incoherent. He pins my wrists above my head, his chest heaving, locking his calm-chaos eyes on mine.
His body inside mine unleashes a euphoria I've never felt. At times, he thrusts so fast, I think he'll pound through me until another wave of adrenaline attacks my cells. Then he'll slow down, gritting his teeth, his breath flaring through his nostrils and into mine.
Sweat coats us. Our skin glides across the other. A drop rolls down his cheek.
"I can't take anymore," I claim, the sensations from the vibrator tearing through me again.
"You can," he declares, flips me on my stomach, then bites the nape of my neck next to the top of my collar. He thrusts his cock back inside me.
"Riggs," I moan, then catch my mistake. "Sir...oh, Sir!"
He pins my hands on the headboard, flips a cuff over each, and kisses my shoulder.
I wrap my fingers over the bars, closing my eyes.
"Look in the mirror," he instructs.