One woman lost her husband three years ago and still hasn’t gotten over it. I’m tempted to ask her if he ever hit her, or threw her around, or made her feel like a piece of shit the way Weston continuously did to me. Being here tonight when all I want to do is forget him sends me spiraling me into a panic. I’m realizing now that I shouldn’t have come.
As heat rushes to my cheeks, I quietly tell Caleb I’ll be right back, trying not to draw any attention in my direction. I need to escape as quickly as possible. The walls of the long hall feel as if they’re closing in, and I take deep breaths to steady my breathing. Once I’m in the ladies’ bathroom, I lean my hands against the counter, absorbing the silence. I needed to get away from the grief that blankets every person in that room.
I glance at myself in the mirror. Contoured face, perfect hair, tight party dress, and as Mason called them, fuck-me heels. It’s supposed to be one of the happiest nights of my life—something I’ve waited to experience for years—so I won’t allow the memory of Weston to take this from me. I deserve to be happy, don’t I?
Instead of hiding in here for the rest of the time, I head back in to my seat while the pastor’s still talking and take notice of how intently Caleb’s listening.
“Death affects everyone at some point in their life, and most aren’t sure how to react to the loss. I think offering condolences is the polite thing to do, and you shouldn’t be offended when someone wants to help you.” He doesn’t take his eyes off Annette as tears stream down her face and fall on her lap. Watching her rips me up inside, and I offer my condolescenes, patting her softly on the back.
“Would anyone else like to share how they’re feeling this week?” He searches around the room.
Caleb speaks up and chats about his wife and how much he misses her, and it almost kills me to hear about his pain, but then suddenly, it’s like the blinders are removed. He swallows, but he almost seems emotionless as he speaks. As if he’s playing a part and has taken off the mask. I study him, wondering if Mason was right, and I just never noticed his insincerity before. Though I’m seeing it now in his mannerisms and the fierce way he glances at me.
“Our anniversary was this week,” he continues on robotically, and I suck in a ragged breath, then check the clock. Only ten more minutes and then I’ll leave and go on my date with Mason. I allow that thought to whisk me away, and I grow more excited with each passing second.
Pastor Jude looks at me and smiles. “What about you, Sophie?”
He’s never called me out before without volunteering since most people just talk freely. I look up at him, feeling like a student who doesn’t know the answer to the teacher’s question. The blood drains from my face, and I feel as if I can’t focus.
“I don’t have anything to say,” I murmur. All eyes are on me, and I’m pissed he brought any attention my way. I give a small smile and look down at my hands, wishing I could be invisible.
An older gentleman takes his turn and talks about his daughter who he recently lost in a drunk driving accident. Losing a sibling or a significant other has to hurt, but to lose a kid? I can’t even imagine. The meeting continues, and I find myself watching the clock more intently.
The pastor wraps up the session a few minutes early, and I feel like I’m able to breathe again. I pull my phone from my clutch and open my text messages but don’t see a response from Dacia.
Caleb watches me as I frown. Concern doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel.
“Ready?” I ask when everyone starts saying their goodbyes, wanting to get out of here as quickly as possible.
He looks as if he’s chewing on rocks, and I’m not sure what I did to annoy him. When I follow him outside, he’s being standoffish, but I ignore it. Caleb unlocks the car, and when I climb inside, I buckle up because I’m ready to get home. When he gets in, he looks at me, and a maniacal smile spreads across his lips. He doesn’t start the car but just stares, his cold gaze piercing straight through me.
“Everything okay?” I furrow my brows, searching his face.
His eyes narrow as he grabs my cheeks in his hands, pulling me toward him. “What do you think, Sophie?”
My breathing quickens as I try to pull out of his grip. Forcefully, he presses his lips against mine, and I struggle to get away from him.