Dex wanted to remind Frank that he wasn’t his dad, but he knew what his uncle meant. “I can’t imagineyoubeing a teen rebel.”
Frank turned around to boil some water. “I didn’t have a good dad, and your grandma left me and my sister with him anyway. I’d hate it if you felt you had no place to go and no one to reach out to for help.”
Dex rubbed his tired eyes again. “Even after everything I did? I am gonna prospect for the club, you know.”
Frank stalled, but then reached into Dex’s cupboard and took out his favorite instant ramen. Despite the house being his and the worktops installed uncomfortably high for Dex, Frank still looked too big for the small kitchen. “I can’t stop you. And yeah, I hate it. I hate that I can’t protect you forever, but Hammer was right. You are an adult. All I can do is try to help if something doesn’t work out,” he said and started chopping a bell pepper, but then suddenly turned, pointing the knife at Dex. “Even when something doesn’t work out with him. I’m gonna gut him if he hurts you, but I need you to know that you can come and tell me no matter what. I won’t laugh, and I won’t blame you. I’m on your side, Dex, even if you don’t believe that sometimes.”
Dex snorted, playing with a fork. “You’regonna gut him? What happened to your no-killing rule?”
Frank’s face fell, and he faced the chopping board again. “It wasn’t always in place. I... I wasn’t always the man I am now, so I also know people can change. And maybe Hammer can too. I want to believe you’re not wrong about him.”
When the water boiled, Frank poured it into a pot and chucked in the noodles before returning to the toppings.
Dex would have pulled on the juicy thread of Frank’s past if he wasn’t so damn tired. “He is a butcher. It’s just that he’s not dangerous tome. But after my fuck up, I don’t even know if we’re together anymore.”
Frank shook his head. "Schrödinger's relationship?”
“What?”
“You don’t know if it’s alive or dead. It could be either, but until you check inside the box, you’re in limbo.”
“I don’t wanna agitate him with questions just yet,” Dex said, but in truth he was simply afraid of the answer he might get.
Frank looked over his shoulder, and his muscles flexed when he brought the knife down hard. “So you haven’t called him since? And you say he lost his finger?”
Dex’s insides twisted at the memory of the expression on Hammer’s face when he’d cut off what was left of the finger. “Yeah. My fault. How much time should I give him? Maybe Ishouldprod? Maybe he’ll think I don’t care if I don’t?
Frank shoved all the cut vegetables and ham into the pot and faced him. “You said he protected you? Yeah, I think you should call him first. Don’t give him too much time to think.”
Dex smiled, painting invisible patterns on the table with his finger. “You should have seen him when he came for me. He’d plowed through four guys to save me.” He spared Frank the gory details, but his heart leapt at the memory of seeing that handsome, bloodstained face looming above the cellar entrance.
Frank exhaled and poured the soup into a large bowl before taking a bag of grated cheese out of the fridge and sprinkling some of it on top of the soup until it formed a mound of dairy. “Then he must like you. It’s not all lost,” he said and placed the steaming food in front of Dex. “Come, I’ll show you something.”
Dex grabbed the hot dish in his icy fingers, enticed by the smell of his favorite comfort food. But Frank’s words were the secret ingredient soothing his tattered nerves. If Frank thought there was still a chance for him and Hammer, then Dex’s hopes weren’t delusional.
Frank led him down the narrow corridor, all the way to Dex’s room where everything seemed… the same, yet different, since all his posters were piled on the desk instead of hanging on walls. It was only then that he noticed the change in texture everywhere around him and realized that the ceiling and walls had all been covered with pale foam tiles.
Frank leaned against the doorframe and ruffled Dex’s hair. “We soundproofed it for you with Shane. You’ll move out one day, but you were right. You’re not a kid, and this is your home for as long as you want it to be. So if you want to bring a guy over, just give me a heads up, but this should give you more privacy.”
Dex’s lips parted, and for a while he didn’t know what to say as thoughts tumbled in his brain. “Tha-thanks. That’s… Now I feel even more guilty about yelling at you.” On the way home, he’d been so broken, he’d literally thought he’d never laugh again, yet now a smile tugged on his lips. Not all alone after all.
Frank exhaled. “We all make mistakes. I was a very difficult kid, and that’s why I’m not really on best terms with the rest of the family,” he said, leading the way back to the kitchen. He took a beer from the fridge and sat, shoving the plastic TV dinner tray to the side. “I—you know, your oldest sister’s father, Harry Banes?”
Dex nodded, sitting back down with his bowl. He mixed in the melting cheese with a groan of satisfaction. “What about him? All I know is that he left when she was two or something like that.”
“Earlier,” Frank mumbled and had a long swig of his beer before playing with the bottle. “Your mom was only nineteen when he got her pregnant, and he was at least ten years older. I lost my temper, beat him up, and left him tied to a tree in the woods. But she wasn’t thankful,” Frank said, shrugging. “She wanted to be with him, and after that… he did not want to have anything to do with her. Called us a ‘psycho family’ and refused to get back together with her. I can see why, of course, regardless of whether he was a good choice for her or not.”
Dex raised his eyebrows, slurping up the noodles. “Is that why she was so reluctant to have me come here?”
Frank nodded, rolling the bottle in his big palms. “I’ve changed since, but you know how her life turned out. She couldn’t be with the man she wanted, maybe really just because of me, and she… you know we didn’t visit each other since I moved here. She didn’t want to see me when she was dying, but I suppose… she figured if anyone could handle you, it would be me,” Frank said with a half-smile and finally looked up at Dex. “I regret many things, but I’m happy you’re here now.”
“I’m happy to be here too.” Dex smiled at him, and even the void left by Hammer was filling up as he ate the hot noodles. “I was on my own with the whole gay thing over there. You let me be myself. Within reason.” He winked at Frank. There were some things only Hammer should know, and that was okay.
“You need to go back on your PrEP regimen and get Hammer tested,” Frank mumbled, but he was already smiling. “In any case, know I’ll always have your back. And when I’m gone, the junkyard will be yours. You deserve it.”
Dex gave a happy slurp, drinking soup from the spoon. “Okay. When I’m a hundred, and you’re a hundred eighteen. And as for the PrEP… I wouldn’t have to take it if it was just me and him…”
Frank toyed with one of his many self-made chain necklaces. “We’ll see how it goes. You have to take care of yourself. And where’s your sling?”