“Please, you need to calm down,” she said, reaching for me. I didn’t allow her to grab me. I went to the cabinet by the door, opening it to find it empty except for a stack of hospital gowns like the one I was presently wearing. No hanging clothes or even a bag where they’d been stored for me.
“Where are my clothes?” I repeated. “Were they taken into evidence? Do you have—”
I stopped speaking when the door opened and a man in a white coat came in. He was younger than the nurse by at least twenty years, and yet I could tell how relieved the older woman was to see him.
“Good morning, Dr. McCauley,” the nurse said.
“Good morning, Mrs. Shoney,” he replied and then looked at me, giving me a smile. “And how is the patient today? Good to see you up and about.”
“I need to borrow some clothes, scrubs or something,” I said in way of greeting. “Mine are gone, and I need to get to the police station.” I paused and ran a hand through my hair, realizing I not only had no clothes, I had no car and no money. “I’m afraid I don’t have my purse or any credit cards to pay the bill right now, and if someone will loan me taxi… or bus fare, I promise I’ll pay you back.”
Dr. McCauley nodded, gesturing toward the bed. “I’ll make sure you get whatever you need, but please, sit down for a moment.”
“I don’t want to sit, I want to leave,” I said, my voice going shriller, and I began to have to struggle to draw in a breath, as if I’d been running.
“You need to calm yourself,” the doctor said. “I don’t like the sound of that wheezing.”
“Please, I just need to go.”
The doctor and nurse exchanged a look that had my heart skipping a beat. Something was off… wrong. “What is it?” I asked. “What are you keeping from me?”
“Nurse, perhaps you could get some juice for Goldie.”
“Certainly, Doctor,” the woman said, rushing out the door as if glad to have been given some task, or perhaps escaping something she knew would be unpleasant.
Once the door closed behind her, Dr. McCauley again gestured toward the bed and this time, I moved to sit down on the edge. As he drew up the single chair to position it in front of me, taking a seat, I picked up the pillow on the bed, pulling it onto my lap, clutching it as if I needed some sort of anchor to keep me from just dashing out the door to find my men.
I listened to him tell me that the brothers were not in jail, had never been arrested, and no charges had been filed. He explained arson had been the cause of the barn burning and that the Barretts had been exonerated of all wrongdoing. The six men who’d died had all been identified as belonging to a cartel, a mafia of sorts, run by one Cook Blackstone, the man whose remains had been found in the barn.
“He’s the man who murdered Kit, who killed their parents as well,” I said.
“That’s also been determined,” he said, nodding. “The Barretts are very well known in these parts. They are well-respected, and it is a tragedy they’ve lost yet another member of their family.”
I nodded, fighting back the wave of sadness that threatened to start tears flowing again. “It is horrible. Kit is… was such a special person. Please, I really need to see them… be with them. They are all the family I have left.”
The look he tried to hide by ducking his head had me more frightened than I’d been in the barn or in the gunfight. I was scared, and yet I had to know. “Look, whatever it is, please, just tell me. I’m a big girl. I can handle it.”
“They’ve asked me to relay the message that they don’t wish to see you,” he said calmly, as if he wasn’t destroying my entire world.
“What do you mean, they-they don’t want to see me?” I asked, not believing what I was hearing. “You must have gotten the message wrong.”
Shaking his head, he opened the chart he’d carried in and removed something… an envelope. Holding it out, he said, “Mr. Barrett, asked me to give this to you when you were well enough to leave the hospital. You don’t need to worry about the bill. Rye’s paid it.” The door opened, and he stood as Nurse Shoney entered, a tray in her hands. “Thank you, Nurse,” he said, moving the chair he’d been using out of the way and pulling the rolling bedside table closer so she could put the tray down. “Have your breakfast and read what’s in the envelope. I’ll be back to give you a quick exam to see if I believe you are ready for discharge.”
The doctor came closer, laying the envelope I’d not taken beside me on the bed. “I don’t know what’s in here, but I do know the Barretts are good people. Whatever it is, I’m sure it is for the best.”
I didn’t know how he could sound so cheerful, so positive because I knew he was lying. Just as I had lied earlier. I couldn’t handle this… I couldn’t handle it at all.
“Read the letter,” the nurse said once the doctor had left. “It’s far better to know than to imagine all sorts of things, don’t you think?”
I thought it would be far better if none of this was happening. Far better if I’d awakened to my men… the men I loved at my bedside. But, they hadn’t been, and weren’t even waiting to see me. All I had of them was the envelope. I finally picked it up, slid my finger beneath the flap, and pulled out a stack of money and two pieces of paper. The first appeared to be some sort of travel voucher.
My hands were trembling as I unfolded the second to see it was a letter. I scanned it and then shook my head, positive I’d read it wrong. After a moment, I forced myself to read the letter again.
Dear Goldie –
Please understand that this was not an easy letter to write, but it needed to be done. First, it kills us that you were injured, that you witnessed something so horrific. We know that while you were forced to pretend so many things, you were truly friends with Kit, and, for that, we thank you.
What we did was wrong. Taking you from your home, destroying your store... your life, is unforgivable. We aren’t asking for forgiveness, but we do hope you allow us to do what we can to try to restore your life to you.