When I woke, the beep of the machines behind me hadn’t changed. That sound had been my constant companion for the past two days. I’d been poked and prodded, had blood drawn and x-rays taken. Though my left forearm had gauze wrapped around it, the burns beneath covered in ointment, it was no longer as annoying as the needle in my right. I followed the tubing up to the bag hanging above me, the fluid dripping drop by drop into my vein, keeping me hydrated as it was still a bit difficult to swallow, my throat raw. I felt as if I’d gone fifteen rounds in a boxing ring, but I wasn’t focused on a few aches and pains. Today, I’d finally be leaving the hospital, finally going home.
The door opened and I turned, ready to see my family, yet it was an older woman who entered, a nurse I had yet to meet.
“Good morning, dear,” she said, moving to the bed. “How are you feeling today?”
“Better,” I answered. “When can I go home?”
She smiled, moving around the bed to where the IV stand was. “As soon as the doctor makes his rounds. It will be a bit, but we can at least get rid of this for you,” she said. I only winced slightly as she pulled the IV needle free.
“How is Jay?” I asked, the act of pressing a cotton ball to the puncture site reminding me of the makeshift bandage I’d pressed to Jay’s bullet wound.
The nurse’s hesitation had my heart pounding. Had Jay’s condition worsened? The beep on the machine quickened as if it knew I was fearing the worst. The sound seemed to prod the woman to answer.
“We’re not allowed to discuss the conditions of our patients with anyone but family.”
“They are my family,” I snapped without hesitation.
“I’m afraid you’re not listed as being a relative of the Barretts. But perhaps you can discuss it with the doctor.”
The woman’s smile seemed forced to me, as if she were attempting to ensure her patient didn’t have some sort of setback. Well, to hell with that. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. I pulled the clip that monitored my oxygen intake off my fingertip and removed the blood pressure cuff around my upper arm, not particularly giving a shit that it was in the process of inflating to take a reading.
“Wait, I’ll get that,” the woman said.
“I’ve got it,” I said, allowing the leads to drop off the side of the bed and swinging my legs over the edge. “If you can’t get me some answers, then I’ll get them myself.” I stood then swayed a bit, grabbing onto the bed, closing my eyes as a wave of vertigo washed through me.
My arm was taken, and the nurse eased me to sit down on the edge of the mattress. “Just sit for a moment. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“Please, I-I have to know,” I pleaded, my voice quivering.
“Now, don’t worry your little head, dearie. Mr. Barrett was in good hands. I’m positive he’s fine,” she said, giving my arm a pat that didn’t feel comforting, it felt patronizing.
“Fine? Define fine,” I said. “He was shot. He lost a lot of blood.” In case that wasn’t enough to sway her, I added, “I was there when it happened. Saw him shoot the man who was trying to kill us. I took off my shirt and pressed it to the bullet hole in his arm. So, excuse me if I don’t care about some stupid rule, I believe I have the right to know how a member of myfamilyis!”
She didn’t speak for a moment and then gave a furtive glance toward the door, as if making sure she’d have no witnesses. Evidently satisfied, she looked back at me. “Are you always so very—”
“Concerned about my loved ones?” I provided.
“I was going to say insistent, but I suppose concerned works just as well.” For the first time, her smile appeared genuine. “And in my professional capacity as a nurse, it is my duty to keep my patient as calm as possible. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that sharing a bit of information will alleviate the stress that is detrimental to your recovery.”
As someone who’d done a bit of dancing about the rules myself, I had to give her points for creative thinking. Smiling, I nodded. “Well said, and if needed, I’ll be glad to testify you were only attempting to keep me from going bat-shit crazy with worry.”
She told me that the bullet had gone completely through Jay’s arm. That the bandage I’d applied had kept him from bleeding out. She explained how he’d been given units of blood to replace those he’d lost, and that while he’d be using a sling for a few weeks, he really was going to be fine and had already been discharged.
“How is that possible?” I asked. “I’m still here, and all I had were a couple of small burns.”
“You had far more than a couple,” she corrected, touching the edge of the gauze. “Some second degree. And you inhaled a great deal of smoke. You have several bruises and a few lacerations as well.” She paused and reached for my hand, giving it a squeeze. “What you did was stupid, but incredibly brave. I understand you ran into the burning barn to free the animals. You’re really quite lucky to be alive.”
I didn’t feel brave, I felt adrift. It occurred to me that not only had I been in this hospital far longer than Jay, I’d yet to see any one of my men. Were the rules regarding family really that strict?
“Thank you for telling me. I’m sure they’ve been just as worried about me.” I looked toward the door. “I’m actually surprised they’ve not visited. They don’t tend to follow the rules too closely,” I said with a smile. “I’m sure they’ll want to know when I’m to be discharged so they can take me home.”
The expression on her face changed. It was no longer one of indulgence a parent would give a child. It was one of pity, as if knowing the news she was about to provide wouldn’t be welcomed.
“What is it?” I asked, then a thought had me pushing up to stand again. “I can’t believe this,” I said, looking around. “Where are my clothes? I need to go.”
“You’ve not seen the doctor yet,” she said.
“I don’t care. I’m fine. Well, not fine, I’m pissed. How in the hell could they blame any of my men for what happened? They were defending their sister. They were defending me! Cook and those other bastards came onto Barrett land with the intention of killing every single one of them. How the police could have arrested them… put them in some cell like common criminals… that’s just… just wrong!”