I shot him a look that I hoped indicated I didn’t find a damn thing funny. When he continued to wear that look of disbelief on his face, I scoffed, “Don’t act like you don’t know what everybody thought.”
“I don’t. I don’t have the slightest clue what you’re talking about,” he returned.
This conversation was going nowhere fast, which was even more of an indication that I needed to get away from him as quickly as possible. If he couldn’t even be honest about this, there was certainly no way possible that we’d be able to have dinner together and discuss anything. At least, I didn’t believe we’d be able to do it without any animosity between us. In all likelihood, we’d probably wind up screaming at one another and making a spectacle of ourselves. Then, because we’d be out in public, someone would recognize me, and the harassment would start all over again.
At the thought of reliving that, of hearing and reading all of those awful, nasty things again, I panicked.
“Please,” I begged, feeling my emotions bubble to the surface. “Please, just leave me alone. I was already leaving town. I just wanted to stop here and say goodbye. I realize how big of a mistake this was. And I was wrong for ever showing up where you worked, hoping that you could help me. I never should have done that. I’m sorry for that. But right now, I’m begging you to just let me leave. I promise. I promise I’ll go and never come back.”
“I can’t do that, Sawyer.”
I dropped my head back and took in several deep breaths. When my chin fell forward and my eyes landed on him again, I asked, “Why?”
“Because you came to me for a reason,” he answered. “You don’t go twelve years without seeing someone and suddenly pop back into their life just because. You need something, and I want to see if I can help you.”
Days ago, I’d learned that someone had been lying to me and everyone else thought I was lying to them. I’d also learned that my life was in danger.
The first person I thought of was Jesse.
The only man I believed could help was him.
He might not have been receptive to the mere sight of me at the start, but his words seemed to be genuine now.
I didn’t know what to do, because I absolutely believed he was my best option to handle my predicament. But there was one thing that I didn’t even begin to question, and that was that Jesse was not the best for my heart.
He was going to chew me up and spit me out.
It didn’t matter how brave I’d been in the past. Courage wouldn’t help me when it came to him.
Now he wanted the opportunity to see if he could help me. My heart wouldn’t survive it.
So, with my voice just a touch over a whisper, I assured him, “You can’t.”
I turned to walk away again, only this time, Jesse’s hand caught my wrist and stopped me from leaving.
“Let me go,” I ordered.
Shaking his head, with a voice so warm and gentle, he repeated, “I can’t do that.”
“Please,” I begged, feeling myself on the very edge of a breakdown. “Please let me go.”
Jesse saw it, knew it, and took advantage of it. “Baby girl…”
His voice trailed off, my stomach clenched, and I lost it.
Full-fledged sobs wracked my body, and I would have crumbled to the ground if it hadn’t been for Jesse stepping close and wrapping his arms around me. If I’d been in the right state of mind, I would have backed away. I would have reminded myself that this wasn’t the way to protect myself. I would have done more to make sure that I didn’t put myself in a vulnerable position, one that was arguably worse than the one I’d been running from days ago.
But I wasn’t in the right state of mind.
I was upset.
I was lonely.
I was so fucking exhausted for reasons that had nothing to do with sleep.
And for the first time in twelve years, Jesse had his hands on me.
It was no surprise I didn’t stand a chance.