“I was a twenty-five-year-old virgin.” I scream the words. “No one wanted me!”
“That’s not true, Ellie.”
“It is.”
An anguished cry works its way up my throat, and I let it out as sobs take over. His warmth envelopes me as he pulls me close. I should push him away, but I don’t. No, I let my soul bleed out through my tears all while he holds me. It’s the sweetest torture because I know he can never be mine. Fresh tears fill my eyes and I cry harder.
“Tell me what to do, Ellie.”
“Please,” I sob. “Please help me forget. Take away the painhecaused. Please, Jafar. Please. I need…”
My voice trails off. I don’t know what I need. Maybe this is what Al meant when he said I lead him on. Is Jafar thinking the same thing? That I have no idea what I want. That I’m hot and cold, giving him mixed signals. I shove away from him, ready to run, when Jafar pulls me against his chest.
“No more running, Ellie. Not from me and not from what’s happening between us.”
I whisper, “Please…”
Our mouths crash against each other in a kiss fueled by anguish on both sides.
“Tell me how to help you, Ellie.”
“I need you to take away the memories he made.”
He stills. Uncertainty rears its ugly head. Maybe I’m asking too much of him. God knows he can have anyone he wants. Why on earth would he want me?
“Never mind. Forget I said anything.” I give him a watery smile. “I promise I’ll be fine.”
The words sound forced to my own ears, but I need things to go back to the way they were before I made it awkward. So what if my heart is breaking?
A gust of wind makes me shiver, reminding me that we’re standing in the middle of a downpour. And Jafar still hasn’t moved.
“Jafar, I—”
Jafar bends, scooping me over his shoulder firefighter style.
“Jafar?”
He doesn’t answer but walks back toward the house. I’m not afraid of him, but I’m worried that I’ve ruined something between the two of us, so I keep my mouth shut. In the house, I expect him to put me down. He doesn’t. Instead, he climbs the stairs, strolling to our room. It’s on the tip of my tongue to make a joke about how strong he is to carry me, but all words fade when he dumps me on the bed. His green eyes are wild, but again, I’m not scared.
“I want to take the memories away from you, Ellie. But we’re only doing this if you’re fucking sure that this is what you want.”
I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “Are you… I don’t want you to do this just because you feel sorry for me.”
His laugh is low. Throaty even. “Did I feel sorry for you when I had phone sex with you? Or when I fingered you at the table on the beach? How about when I ate you out on my desk? Hmm?”
Heat creeps up my cheeks, and I shake my head.
“I’ve wanted you for fucking years. I’ve tried to stay away, but I can’t do that anymore. Tell me now. Is this what you really want? If it’s not, we’ll go back downstairs and watch another fucking Marvel movie and pretend like this didn’t happen.” He takes a step toward the bed. “But if you say yes, then I’m going to do every little dirty thing that I’ve dreamt about for years. I’m going to lick you from head to toe. I’m going to fuck your pussy with my mouth and then my cock. You’re going to come so many times that you won’t even know your own name. You’re going to bemine. So, little mouse, what do you want?”
We’re both breathing heavily as he finishes speaking.
“I want that, too, but I’m scared that I won’t know what to do or that you’ll be disappointed.”
Saying the words is hard, but I trust Jafar.
“We can stop if you get uncomfortable, Ellie. I mean it. The moment this becomes too much, just tell me no, and we can go watch a movie or something. And there’s no way in hell that you will ever disappoint me.”
I nod, but he shakes his head.