“Bad dream?”
Looking over, I find Jafar looking more handsome than he has any right to.
“Yeah.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“No.”
I realize his arm is still around me and I sit. This is so inappropriate, but, god, do I feel better since I was able to rest.
“Pizza is here if you’re hungry. I had one of my men put it in the oven to keep it warm.”
My stomach growls, answering for me. Jafar sits, too, reaching for his shoes. This moment feels too intimate, which is ironic, considering everything we’ve already done. Grabbing my shoes, I slip them on and leave the room as fast as I can.
The closer I get to the kitchen, the more the scent of pizza lingers in the air. Opening the oven, I find three boxes and pull them out. The first box is cheese only, New York style. The next is a deep-dish pepperoni. The last, and my favorite, is a New York style ham and pineapple. I grab a piece, taking a bite.
“I thought I remembered you saying you liked pineapple,” Jafar says from behind me.
“You must be the deep-dish,” I reply.
He reaches over me, grabbing a piece. “Had some when I was in Chicago. Didn’t think I’d like it, but I did.”
Again, this feels too personal. I move around him, going to the fridge. It’s stocked with beer, soda, bottled water, and not much else. I get a diet soda, opening the can.
“Looks like a bachelor lives here,” I say after I take a drink.
He leans against the counter, facing me. “Might as well be one.”
“Jasmine would disagree, especially since she wants a baby.”
We both know that Jasmine gets what she wants. When I’m gone, they will get close again and she’ll tempt him until her stomach is round with his baby. I swallow the bile that’s in my mouth, hating that I even care. You’d think that I would be over it after everything that happened last night. And I don’t just mean the rape. Jafar said terrible things to me before the party. Things that were true to a certain extent. Maybe he just needs to be reminded that he has a wife.
He says, “Yeah, that’s what she says she wants, but I don’t buy it.”
“Why not?”
“Does Jasmine strike you as the maternal type?” When I don’t answer, he nods. “That’s what I mean.”
I ask, “Do you want kids one day?”
“Haven’t thought about it. What about you?”
“I thought I did.” Until last night. I decide to be honest. “I’m not sure I even want to be in a relationship now.”
“What you went through is terrible, Ellie. I’m so fucking sorry. I wish I could go back and take back what I said yesterday.”
I snort. “You think this happened because of you? It happened because Al is a monster.”
“But if I hadn’t been a dick, you wouldn’t have gone on that fucking date.” He runs his hand through his hair. “So, yeah, this happened because of me.”
My throat is tight. “Jafar, you were right to say what you did. I can admit that I’ve had a crush on you, and you helped me see yesterday how silly it was. But even if you hadn’t said what you did, I would have gone on the date with Al eventually. I was tired of being alone and he was there. You have Jasmine, and I wanted someone, even if it was just for a night.”
Saying the words is bittersweet, but I mean it. This isn’t his fault. It’s mine. No, it’sAl’sfault.Heis the one who wouldn’t take no for an answer.Heis the one who thought he had the right to violate me.
As if sensing my thoughts, Jafar says, “I’ve put a hit out on him.”
My gaze meets his. “A hit?”