“This isn’t easy for me, either. I don’tdorelationships. Ever. I’ve never had to worry about how someone else will feel before. We can learn together.”
My belly drops as his words penetrate my heart, but it’s not just about diving into the unknown, something scary as it is. It’s more than that for me, it’s not that simple.
“It’s too late.” My own voice breaks.
He really doesn’t understand. I don’t think he ever will.
“I can’t stay here, Ren. The longer I’m here, the less safe it is for everyone. Not just me, but you and your family, and I don’t want that.”
“I know you’re scared, Lilly. I’m handling it, but it’s going to take some time. In the meantime, I promise I will keep you safe.”
The world stops spinning, and a fear washes over me like an ice-cold bucket of water.
“Handling what?” I shake my head and swallow the lump in my throat. He can’t mean what I think he does? He will start a war. “I don’t want you to do anything for me.”
“Hmph.” His eyes grow dark and deadly. “Trust me baby, I will be doing it just as much for me. Nikolov’s time is up.”
He turns and leans to the side, pulling out a large black duffle bag from the floor behind his chair, dropping it by my feet. Leaning forward he unzips it and I see it filled with hundred dollar notes, all bundled together with a brown paper bag on top.
My heart skips a beat, and my mouth parts, watching as he opens the paper bag and pulls out a passport and throws it on the coffee table. My shaking hand reaches out, not believing what is right in front of me.
“I don’t want to be that guy that forces you into anything.” He takes my hand in his as my heart beats faster, trying to drag my eyes away from everything I’ve wanted, freedom and my ticket out of here. “It will break everything inside me, but I don’t want you to hurt anymore. Not from me, not from anything.”
It shatters what little hold I have, and tears fall from my eyes. I’m a mess, a heartbroken, lovesick mess. He leans forward and cups my face, his thumb brushing my tears away.
“Or…” His eyes plead with mine. “You can trust me to take care of you. I just need time and to know I can handle my business without worrying about you.” He shakes his head. “Fuck. That came out wrong.”
I sniff and nod, understanding exactly what he means. “You mean me jumping out of windows?”
“Something like that.” His voice is just as soft and vulnerable as mine.
Can I?
Can I trust Ren with my life? My skin crawls when I think about Sergei, and nothing makes more sense than to flee. To run. Not only from the pain he will cause me, but for Ren, too. He won’t let Ren have me. Never.
“You know it’s not going to be as easy as that.” Can I do this? My way out is right there, so close.
He drops his hand from my face and holds it out for me, waiting for me to take it. With shaky and uncertain hands, I do.
“He won’t be silent for much longer.” Ren needs to know the monster that he is. “And he’s not dumb either.”
“You need to let me worry about that.”
How the fuck is that possible? I don’t know. Doubt begins to creep back in.
“I just need to know at the end of the day, I will be coming home to you.” His fingers are soft and gentle, soothing and loving.
God, I want that so bad.
With his other hand, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the velvet box that stole my breath. He lets go to open it, and my heart nearly stops when he takes out a breathtaking yellow diamond ring with a simple, elegant band. His mother’s ring, which makes this moment so much more meaningful.
“I will risk it all for you Lilly.” He takes out the delicate ring. “Will you risk it all for me?”
He reaches for my hand and takes my ring finger. My heart thumps in my chest, beating so fast all I can manage is one breathy word. “Ren?”
But he waits with the ring perched on the tip, ready to claim me.
Risk it all? My life. Sergei finding me. The pain. The heartache. This isn’t going to end well. I don’t see a way to avoid Sergei’s wrath.