To find my lobster.
The honey trapping and Brett’s accident all made me closed off. I didn’t believe in happily ever after. I believed in happy until someone else came along and caught your eye. Like a part of a person is always still looking. Never satisfied. Never grateful for what they have.
But I know that every part of me has only seen him these past few months. He satisfies me in ways I never even thought possible. And not just the sex. He supports me, he makes me laugh, he makes me stronger, makes me see things differently.
And he sees me.
For that, I will be forever grateful.
He’s always done what he thinks I’ve needed. Even last night. He did exactly what I asked him to. He made love to me all night. He never stopped. Each time rolled into the next as we kissed and held each other. He talked softly to me, asking me if I remembered our first night together. If I remembered Freddy, the goat. If I remembered sitting up watching movies together. Dancing together on our first fake date. Getting photographed by the press during our first real public kiss.
Reed Walker made love to both my body and my soul all night long.
Maybe he was never going to say the words that I’ve kissed so desperately off his lips before they can form. Before they can change things between us forever by being said. Before they can make me question everything I am about to do.
But he doesn’t have to.
Last night told me everything I needed to know.
Iamdoing the right thing.
I need to do what’s best for him now.
Because this man… thisincredibleman. Deserves the world. He deserves it all. I can’t let anyone threaten that. I can’t let anyone use his past against him. I can’t let anyone taint what he is trying to do by following his heart and giving it to the city.
I can’t do that.
They will always have something to use against Reed. An axe suspended so dangerously above him. And for as long as they think we are a couple who are madly in love, they will have it over me, too.
I can’t be the one who makes it crash down.
Leaving is the best option. It’s the only way I can ensure that he’s okay. For now, at least. But that’s better than nothing.
“Are you going to talk to me now?” Reed lies down on the bed next to me, resting his head on his elbow as the smoky-quartz eyes I love so much assess me. The morning light catches the golden flecks in them, and the sight makes my throat constrict.
“I have to say goodbye.” My voice is unsteady, and I gulp in a breath of air to calm the shaking that’s threatening to overrun my body.
Reed’s beautiful eyes screw up as he looks at me. “Harls, what are you—?”
Panic grips me, making the inside of my chest feel like it’s turning into ice.
I can’t do this.
The way he looks at me… like I’m the most precious thing in the world… I can’t bear to see that look vanish.
Not yet.
“To Rosie!” I jump up out of bed and rush to the bathroom, leaving Reed lying on the bed. “I have to say goodbye to Rosie!”
My voice is shrill as I turn on the shower.
“Right now?” Reed’s deep voice rumbles behind me, and I jump as his warm, strong hands hold the tops of my arms and his thumbs caress my shivering muscles. I’m grateful he can’t see my face as I spout lie after lie about how the bird charity might come early, and that I cannot miss a minute of goodbye time. That I promised Maria I would be early.
I talk and talk. Filling the silence.
I don’t shut up long enough for Reed to get a chance to say or ask anything. But he seems more than happy to listen, smiling down at me as we shower together, and he washes my hair for me.
The scent of my coconut shampoo impregnates the steam around us and makes it seem like we are in our very own tropical hideaway.