One where the past can’t hurt us.
If only.
It’s still ridiculously early when we knock on Maria and Griffin’s penthouse door. It takes a while for anyone to answer. Eventually, Griffin throws the door open, looking irritated and wearing just a pair of fitted boxer shorts.
I clear my throat and keep my eyes on his face.
“Morning!” I try to sound bright and breezy as I walk in.
Griffin gives Reed a puzzled look, but he just raises his brows and shrugs his shoulders.
“Maria knew I was coming,” I say, hoping to avert Reed’s attention away from the fact that Griffin was obviously not expecting visitors this early.
Griffin looks at me. “I’ll go get her.”
I silently thank the ceiling that he didn’t correct me. Didn’t let Reed know I just told him another lie. One lie of the many which are about to come. Griffin might know about the video. But I didn’t tell him that I’m leaving today.
Saying those words once will be hard enough. And Reed deserves to be the first to hear them.
“Morning.” Maria walks into the room and over to me. Her dark hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun, and she’s wearing loungewear that looks like she just threw on quickly. She always looks immaculate, so I know us arriving early has caught her off guard. But I couldn’t risk staying alone in the apartment with Reed any longer.
“Sorry,” I whisper in Maria’s ear, so only she can hear as we hug.
“It’s no problem,” she whispers back.
“I just wanted to make sure I had time to say goodbye,” I explain, as we approach Rosie’s box. I peek inside and my hands fly to my mouth as warmth radiates around my chest. She’s snuggled inside the makeshift facecloth nest underneath the glow of the lamp. “She’s so gorgeous.”
Reed comes to join me, and his brows pull together as he tilts his head to the side. “Yeah, she’s…”
Rosie shifts in the nest, her bright pink skin visible underneath her sparse fine yellow feathers. Her beak looks naked and lumpy. And she has large gray circles around her eyes. As far as baby animals go, she’s… well, she’s peculiar looking.
“I know she’s funny looking.” I reach in and stroke her back gently as she watches me with one eye. “But she’s small and new to this world. And all she knows is how to love.”
“I’m pretty sure all she knows is how to eat and shit and keep me up all night,” Griffin grumbles from across the kitchen where he’s returned, fully dressed. He wraps an arm around Maria’s waist as she presses the heels of her hands into her eyes and rubs them.
“Bet you’re glad you didn’t stay another night,” Griffin adds, directing his comment to me.
“Yes. I expect you got more sleep than us.” Maria yawns, and I instinctively lean into Reed’s side as his hand closes around my hip.
“Oh… yeah.” I return my gaze to Rosie. Staying up all night, my body, joined with Reed’s, should bring butterflies and joy. And usually it would. But all I can taste today is dread, curdling like sour milk in my gut.
Before I can stop myself, hot, fat tears are coursing down my cheeks. Burning rivers of wet, stinging despair into my skin.
“Angel,” Reed murmurs into my hair, holding me to his side. “She’s going to be okay. This is what she needs. She’s a wild bird. They’re going to take good care of her, and she’ll thrive.”
“I know.” I sniff, wiping my cheeks on my sleeve. There’s a fraction of a second where they are dry before more tears fall, soaking them again.
I can’t tell him that only a small percentage of these tears are for Rosie. Of course, I am sad she’s leaving. But I know it’s for the best. I know she will be happier. She’ll be wild and free. Just like anyone should be. Allowed to live their life.
Free.
“Maybe she’ll even find her way back here and grace The Songbird’s sidewalk carpet with tokens of appreciation for Griffin,” Reed jokes.
“She better fucking not!” he calls, eyeing Rosie. But his face softens, and his mouth lifts into a smile when Maria pokes him in the stomach.
The two of them start talking in quiet voices, moving around the kitchen, flicking the coffee machine on, and getting out mugs. They offer one to me and Reed, but we decline. I spend another ten minutes talking softly to Rosie and stroking her while Reed hovers nearby. He seems reluctant to leave me, even though my tears have dried to something resembling a trickle.
After my hundredth ‘last look’ at her, and another photograph snapped with my phone, we leave and head back to our apartment. Opening the front door, the weight of dread hits me in the chest immediately. My arms stiffen by my side, my fingers turning cold as I walk inside.