“Thank you.”
“But…” Tom’s smile fades. “The content of what we planned to discuss today has changed somewhat, hasn’t it?” He looks to Reed, who runs a hand over his jaw, his eyes looking skyward.
“Yes. I would say that’s an accurate description.” Reed chuckles softly, leaning his elbows forward over his knees and opening his palms up between them. “This was going to be about my plans for the city. And it still is. But first, I need to share with everybody why I’m so grateful that you put your faith and trust in me. I think we become the people we are based largely on our experiences and our influences. And a lot of passions are created that way. Some people are born with a talent, but not many. Most of us don’t discover our talent, our passion, and what drives us until it shows itself to us in our life. Some of us wait a long time for it. Some of us search. Some of us sit back and hope that it finds us. And sometimes it’s born out of good experiences. And sometimes it’s not.”
“That’s really interesting. I love how you said that. It’s different for everyone. And it’s not always an easy road to it. And you’re going to share with us what gave birth to your passion today, aren’t you?” Tom leans back into the other sofa, his eyes softening at the corners as he waits for Reed to continue.
“I am.” Reed nods, rolling his lips and dropping his head to his chest before looking back at Tom.
“Reed…” My eyes stay fixed on the screen, at TV Reed’s brow, and the way it’s drawn together so tightly that bile rises in my throat.
“Just watch, Angel.” He squeezes my thigh again.
I place my hand over his and he turns it so our fingers can wrap together, gripping on to each other like two people stranded in the cold. Knowing that your best chance of survival is to stay together. That your lives depend so heavily on the other’s survival.
“My passion, and the reason I wanted to be mayor, was to help people. I want to instill trust and hope in people. To lead with honesty and integrity. And I want justice for people who are wronged by others. Truth is important to me. Whenever I’ve been asked a question, I’ve answered it honestly.” He shakes his head, pausing, as Tom waits patiently.
“But I haven’t been completely truthful in why those things mean a lot to me, just that they do. And recently, I’ve come to realize that my reasons for not being completely truthful weren’t serving me anymore. In fact, they were hurting people. People I care a lot about. And I think sharing those reasons now is right. It feels right.”
Reed’s fingers stroke against mine, reminding me that he is here, right beside me. Keeping me warm. Sharing his body heat. Protecting me from what’s coming.
“When I was twenty-one, I was sexually assaulted. I was drugged by a woman and taken to a hotel, which I have little recollection of. She did things that I don’t remember. She had sex with me without my consent. I reported it. But she was never found. There was no evidence.”
I can’t contain the gasp that falls from my lips, hearing it laid out like that, for the world to hear.
“I see,” Tom says, leaning forward and mirroring Reed’s posture. “And this is something you feel led to you wanting to help others to get justice?”
“Yes,” Reed answers openly. “It’s why some of my main policies are based around improving personal safety and investing in the city’s justice system. I’ve spent a lot of time looking at crime rates. I want cases to be stronger, to have the resources to investigate and go to trial. I want people to feel supported and never be reluctant about coming forward to report a crime. Crimes of all natures. But especially sexually motivated ones. For a long time, I felt like a part of me had been stolen that night. A part I never got back. And I made my peace with it. I thought that night was in the past. And I was happy to leave it there. But recently I’ve come to realize that I can do something better with it. It made me want to do better. Be better. It gave me the drive to want to run for mayor so that I can make changes that will benefit people’s lives. But that’s no longer enough.”
“You’ve got plans for something, using your experience to guide you?” Tom asks.
“I do. I want to invest time in community building. I want more places people can go to for help without fear of being judged. Without feeling ostracized for the things that have happened to them, for their past. I want people to be supported. To feel supported. That was a dark time in my life, and without my family and friends, I might not have found my way out. I want to spread that message. You are in control of your own life. And there is always support there when you need it. For everyone, but especially men. We don’t always forge relationships so easily. We can hide our feelings until they consume us. But we need society to be promoting positive attitudes to mental well-being and health. It’s something Harry Ellston, the new commissioner for education, and I have been discussing. We want to bring it into schools. We have physical education and sports, and we’ve come some way into the mental side of a healthy mindset. But we feel there is so much potential for more.”
The camera pans back as Reed and Tom continue to talk about the plans in more detail. His admission of his assault is already fading into the background as they discuss schools and what might be trialed for different age groups.
I turn to Reed, silent tears running down my cheeks. He looks back at me, his eyes glassy and wet.
“It’ll help people, Harls. That’s partly why I did it.”
“Partly?” My voice betrays me, cracking at the end.
“Mostly I did it for you. So you never had to worry about it again. I’m not afraid of people knowing. I’m not even afraid of them seeing that video. Do you know what I am afraid of? What scares the shit out of me?”
“What?” I whisper.
“The helplessness I feel when I see you cry.” He reaches up and swipes my tears away with his thumb. “Feeling helpless. Being helpless. This was me taking back control. I never want you to cry because of my past. It can’t hurt me anymore. As long as it doesn’t hurt you, then it can’t hurt me.”
“Reed,” I sob, falling into his arms, making sure to bury my head into his good shoulder, and not the one that’s bandaged up.
“No one in this world can hurt us again like this. As long as we stay together. You should have come to me, Angel. We can face anything together. But you have to talk to me about it.”
His arms are warm around me, encasing me in a cocoon of hope. He’s shared it with the world. He’s changed it with one decision. Transformed it so it’s no longer a dark poison to be used as a weapon, but a seed from which new beginnings can grow. If he wasn’t about to be mayor, maybe he wouldn’t have done it. Maybe he would have kept living happily like he was. Because I truly believe he was happy. He never let it define who he was. But now he has the tools and position to use it in a different way.
He’s chosen his next step.
One I never anticipated.
“I thought I was doing the right thing. You didn’t want your past held against you. But I should never have assumed I knew how you felt. I should never have tried to make that decision for you. I thought I was helping. I knew you would do anything to protect me, and I wanted to do the same.” I sniff into his neck, inhaling his scent I’ve found so intoxicating right from the beginning.