“I know I agreed to come back here, but after everything, are you sure you want me here? I mean, what are we even doing?”
“Harls.” He reaches out and cups my face between his large hands, his thumbs stroking my cheeks. “This is where you belong. Why would you even question that?”
“Because…” My chest burns as I look into his eyes. I’m unable to look anywhere else. Not that I’d want to. When Reed looks at me like this, nothing else exists.
“Because?” he coaxes.
“Because Maria heard you tell Griffin and Stuart that it can’t ever be allowed to happen. That you’d rather die.” I gulp in air as Reed’s pupils dilate, pushing the golden flecks in them wide. “The idea of that video getting out made you say that. You—”
“You think that’s what I was talking about?” His expression folds into one of shock and concern, his thumbs pausing their gentle path over my skin. “I said that aboutyou. The idea of someone usingyou. Hurtingyou. Trying to blackmailyou. Anyone doing anything that makes your eyes look like they do now. Like you’ve been told you just saw your last sunrise… Harley, I would rather die than allow that to happen to you again.”
“Oh.” My heart beats out a low, melodic chant in my chest. “But at Suze’s, you said you had to let go, have a fresh start. That nothing lasts forever.”
Reed’s eyes shutter closed, and he rests his forehead against mine. “I did say that. You’re right.” His voice is low and weary, exhaustion rolling off him in waves. “And I should have explained what I meant.”
I stand numb, unable to say anything else. Is this the part where we sit and have a big talk? Where we amicably part ways? But why would he insist I come back here after the hospital? Why would he kiss me in the back of the ambulance like he had finally found me after a lifetime of searching?
“They can’t blackmail you anymore. We can be together. You don’t need to worry about it anymore.” He screws his face up, his body tensing. “It’s over.”
“No.” Tears threaten my eyes as he opens his and they burn into mine. “They could still tell people. They could still leak the video. Even if it’s safe with the police, it could all still come out.”
My chest tightens, images racing through my head. Reed’s video on the internet. Him seeing it. Everyone that he loves seeing it. Him never being able to leave it behind, always wondering when he meets someone, or walks down the street, if everyone he meets has seen him at his most vulnerable. Seen a part of his life that he doesn’t remember all the details of himself.
How do you even begin to deal with something like that?
“I don’t care,” he breathes out slowly, his entire body loosening as though saying the words alone is enough to make it all better.
“You don’t—”
“I don’t care, Harls,” he says again, lifting his lips to my forehead and pressing a kiss to my skin. “Come. There’s something you need to see.”
He helps me over to the sofa, lowering me down onto it, despite the fact it must make his shoulder throb painfully. He sits next to me and flicks the TV on.
“You want to watch TV?” My mouth drops open as I turn to him. “I don’t understand, I don’t—”
“Just watch.” He rests his hand on my thigh, his eyes on the screen. “You wanted to know what I meant? It’s easier if I show you.”
I turn back to the giant wall-hung flat screen as Reed brings up a recording and the intro music for Tom Coulter’s evening news and chat show comes on.
I sit mesmerized as Tom comes into view, sitting on a deep blue sofa, his hands clasped between his knees as he leans forward. His show that airs in the evening is made up of political and current affairs topics. There is no live studio audience. It’s intimate and why I love his show. It’s like watching a chat between friends.
“This is what you were filming when I came to look for you.” I glance at Reed, and his lips lift into a calm smile.
“Yes. It is.”
I turn back to the screen as Tom begins.
“I have a special guest with me tonight. He’s an old friend of mine. Well, I’m the old part in that sentence.” He chuckles, his silver hair gleaming as the camera zooms out, showing the rest of the set and the other blue sofa.
Even though I know he’s going to be there, I still emit a small gasp as Reed’s broad frame comes into view. His waves are perfectly swept back from his face, showing his striking eyes. And his perfect teeth are on show as he smiles at Tom and reaches over to shake his hand.
“That’s your real smile,” I whisper to Reed out of the side of my mouth, my eyes glued to the easy familiarity he has on screen with Tom.
Reed doesn’t say anything, but his fingers flex against my thigh and squeeze gently.
“Thanks for having me, Tom,” TV Reed replies.
“Now, we had this interview planned from the moment you won the New York City Mayoral vote. Congratulations, by the way.” Tom laughs and Reed joins him.