He snorts out a disbelieving breath as his eyes bulge.
“Don’t what? Don’t tell you how I’m struggling to take any of this in? That I’m struggling to comprehend the fact that my girlfriend, who I thought I had the most amazing relationship with, is now telling me she doesn’t know if she feels the same way I do? That she’s not sure about any of it. That she wants to leave?”
“Stop,” I whisper, hot tears pooling along my lower lids.
“Why, Harls? Is it too fucking hard to hear? Is that maybe because it’s a load of shit?! You think I’m fucking stupid, don’t you?”
“No… I don’t think—”
“Who the fuck is he, Harley?”
“What? Who?” I choke out, blinking back tears.
“The guy who’s about to know what it’s like to die painfully by my hands.”
My eyes freeze and I’m unable to blink. Unable to do anything except throw my hand to my mouth to stop myself throwing up. He could say anything else. Anything at all. And it wouldn’t hurt as much as what he’s insinuating. It wouldn’t send ice hurtling around my body, through my veins as I glare at him, my tears freezing in my eyes as my hopelessness turns to anger.
Anger that he wouldeversuggest I could do something like that.
“There is no one else, Reed. And if these last few months have taught you anything about me, then it’s that I wouldnevercheat.” My voice wavers more with each word as I scream at him.
He watches me, his hair falling forward as he draws in large, deep breaths, his tense shoulders rising with each one. He looks like one giant ball of pent-up fury about to explode. But all I can think about is how he assumed I would cheat.
“I can’t believe you would think that!”
“I don’t. I shouldn’t have—”
“You don’t know how hard this is for me. You don’t know anything. For someone so intelligent, you’re being a giant asshole!” I yell.
Bang.
White chips of paint fly into the air as Reed’s fist penetrates the wall a couple of meters away from where I’m standing. It goes straight into the plaster, leaving a large dent from which broken pieces fall, scattering onto the floor as he draws his hand back and curses under his breath.
The force behind his words and the punch make me jump, and I stumble back into the hall table, knocking it so hard that another crash follows almost immediately.
I look down. The floor is sprayed with dark brown and black. A mix of spilt earth and jagged, broken parts of Bruce’s pot. My face crumples and my vision blurs until all I can see is brown and black mixed together.
And green. Blurry green leaves.
“Shit, Harls. I’m sorry. He’ll be fine.” Reed’s voice rushes past me in a flash as he bends and sweeps away the green until only brown and black remain on the floor, like a pool of blood in an old black and white movie.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I suck in a breath. It shudders on the way in, making me sound like I’m gasping. “None of this is your fault.”
“Christ.” Reed’s voice has lost its edge, and instead, it’s weighed down by what sounds a lot like guilt as he moves back to stand in front of me. His eyes are shining, and his giant frame is moving up and down with slow, deliberate breaths.
The heat from his body reaches across the few inches of space between us.
We are so close. And yet, miles away.
“I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.” His eyes follow mine to the wrecked wall. “I’m not angry at you. I’m angry at myself for saying it. I know that’s not you… Fuck. It was an asshole thing to say. You’re right, Harls. You’re right. Look at me, please.”
I force my eyes away from the wall reluctantly. I almost envy it. It will get patched up and no one will ever know how damaged it was.
I doubt either of us will be so lucky.
I look back at Reed, noting that the golden flecks have lost their wildness. But they’re still shining with a brilliance that steals my breath. Glowing with emotion.
“I don’t understand. What we have is real. You know that. If I ever for a second made you think that I was acting. All those times we…anyof the times we… None of it has been an act for me. Not one single thing.” Reed’s shoulders straighten as he takes a deep breath to calm himself.