When did I turn into the I don’t want her but no one else can have her type of man?
Maybe because wanting her and having her aren’t the same thing.
My head is such a fucking confusing mess right now.
Chapter 37
Slick
What I anticipated this trip with Aro was going to look like versus what it actually is couldn’t be more opposite of each other.
I truly thought I was going to be subjected to him reminding me more than once that what we had was just sex and he wasn’t interested in anything more. I argued in my head what I would say if he mentioned being intimate again for the sake of having sex.
Instead, I’ve gotten nothing but the cold shoulder since being pulled over by the cop before we even managed to leave town.
The man hasn’t said a word to me. That doesn’t mean I’m unable to translate his body language. Right now, he has his head pressed to the back of the seat, his eyes closed. I know he wants me to think he’s asleep, but I’m all too aware of his breathing pattern.
The man doesn’t want to talk to me. It cuts deeper than it should, his belief that I flirted with the cop to make him jealous. Even after the trip all the way into town for his PT appointment and now halfway back, it’s still bugging the shit out of me.
What was the point of even mentioning it if it didn’t affect him in any way?
Does that actually mean that he was jealous of some contrived action he made up in his own head?
I shouldn’t be thinking of things like this. It gives my poor, shattered heart hope. It prevents me from being able to move on with that unlikely chance of him coming to his senses one day and realizing he wants to be with me.
I know better, or rather I should know better, but the heart is a stupid, stupid thing sometimes.
I look over at him, wondering if he’d lose his shit if I brushed my finger down his face or if he’d pretend to be asleep and merely turn his head to break the contact.
I chew the inside of my cheek, hating him a little for even existing. I’ve never torn myself apart for a man before. If things looked like they weren’t working out, I simply walked away. No one has gotten to me the way he has.
He jerks when the Bluetooth rings out an incoming call, his eyes opening, no shadows of sleep in them at all. I press the connect call.
“Hey, shithead!” Ugly snaps as the call is connected. “Are you ready to hit the bar tonight and get laid?”
I instantly realize my mistake. It’s Aro’s phone, not mine, connected to the Bluetooth.
I grip the steering wheel in annoyance so tight my knuckles turn white, but I don’t say a word.
Aro looks over at me, no doubt trying to gauge if I’m going to turn into some possessive nutcase.
He’d never get that satisfaction out of me. I’m still in control of some of my emotions.
“You’re on speaker, man,” Aro mutters.
Silence fills the inside of the SUV, once again making me wonder what in the hell Aro has told our other teammate.
“Hey, Slick,” Ugly eventually says.
“Hey,” I say, trying for cheery, but knowing I don’t quite manage it.
“You’re welcome to tag along if you like. Might be some hot guys there tonight.”
I don’t miss Aro’s shift in his seat, but I’ve learned not to take what the man does any deeper than surface level. He doesn’t care about Ugly’s suggestion. If anything, he’s worried that me going to Jake’s with them will cause drama as Aro tries to pick up a woman for the night.
“Maybe,” I say, my heart pounding in my chest at the thought of Aro leaving the bar with someone else.
“We’ll figure it out when we get back,” Aro mutters.
Ugly ends the call as if he can sense the tension from so far away.
I continue to chew on the inside of my bottom lip, trying to convince myself to keep my mouth shut.
Aro, unfazed by the plans he’s made with Ugly, closes his eyes once again.
Only this time, after about twenty minutes, I can tell he’s actually fallen asleep.
The rest of the drive is spent in silence.
When we arrive back to the clubhouse, I can’t help but feel petty, leaving Aro sleeping in the SUV without waking him up. I know he’s exhausted from PT today. I know letting him nap longer will only provide the energy the man needs to follow through with the plans he made with Ugly, but doing anything to prevent it from happening isn’t my place.
I shouldn’t have an opinion about what the man does. I shouldn’t be upset at the possibilities. I shouldn’t be imagining him with someone else.