I walk in the direction, shaking my head when my cane flies out of my hand. I nearly topple over and barely manage to stay standing. I glare over my shoulder at Anthony.
“Seriously?”
“You going to use that cane at work?”
I almost want to growl at the man.
“Use that right there. I’m not going to hold back.”
I end up on my ass more times than I can count. I thought the session would be him throwing shit at me, but we end up on the ground, grappling like we’re in a fucking martial arts class.
“Jesus, fuck,” he grunts when I use my prosthetic to pin down both his legs. “That shit hurts.”
“If you’re attacking me, it’s supposed to.”
Breathless, Anthony stands, using the bottom of his shirt to wipe sweat away. “I didn’t know if you’d ever end up in a situation like that or not.”
“I wouldn’t,” I say honestly.
“No?”
“If anyone ever got that close to one of us, they’d end up with a bullet in their head.”
“It’s like that?”
“Exactly like that,” I answer.
“Okay, that’s enough for today,” he says, pointing to a familiar spot on the floor.
“Just know I still got gas in me,” I say, as breathless as he is.
His laughter follows me down to the mat, and I immediately work on getting my prosthetic off.
Anthony doesn’t hesitate to start massaging my muscles.
“Brynn still giving you massages?”
I shake my head. “Got someone else doing them now.”
Anthony never questioned why Slick was gone from my appointments. Ugly dropped me off and stayed in the SUV. I imagine he didn’t want me to think of him as a babysitter. I promised Anthony I’d still get massages since our appointments are a week apart now rather than three times a week.
“Whoever is doing them isn’t doing as good a job as Brynn,” Anthony says after I wince when he presses into my thigh hard.
I want to punch his lights out for making me hurt but also for him using her real first name. No one knows her well enough to call her that despite being introduced to her that way. I know her that way. I know more than anyone else. I know that her massages were good but the way she worked me over when she was naked was what I liked the most.
I clear my throat. Thinking about Brynn’s hands oiled up and rubbing me like they did that first time… Jesus, remembering that while this guy is touching me will end up in a conversation neither of us want to have.
I roll my head on the mat, noticing Brynn sitting in her usual spot. I’m honestly surprised she didn’t boot me out of the passenger seat when we pulled up to the front. She’s on her phone now, whereas before, she was always paying close attention to what was going on during a session.
When she first stood in front of me at the clubhouse, I let my chest fill with a little hope, but she quickly dashed that away by letting me know Kincaid asked her to bring me today not the other way around.
For a few seconds, I let my head convince the rest of me that she didn’t feel violated for giving in to my needs.
Then I had to go and ruin whatever good cheer she had for me by getting jealous over the fucking cop.
I swear the woman makes me fucking insane.
Even in my head I sound like a psychotic ex-boyfriend.
“What are you thinking about right now? Your muscles just locked up.”
“Nothing,” I mutter, taking a few seconds too long to pull my eyes off of her.
He looks from me and back to Slick.
“You haven’t locked that shit down yet, man?”
“She’s a teammate,” I tell him. “Getting involved would be too messy. If we ever broke up, it would ruin things back home.”
He laughs, shaking his head as he looks down at me like I’m the biggest idiot he’s ever met, before looking back up at her one last time. “That woman isn’t someone you let go of. A man would be a fucking idiot to let her get away.”
I look back over at Slick, needing to argue with Anthony’s words, but I can’t manage it. Lying to myself is one thing. Lying to him would be going a step too far.
It’s hard to even think about a relationship with anyone. My own failures, coupled with how I’ve always felt about settling down with one woman for the rest of my life, make me a horrible candidate. But I know that if I ever got to the point of wanting something like that, Brynn Sullivan would be my pick over every other woman in the world.
“So you don’t mind if I shoot my shot?”
He laughs again when I growl.
When it’s time to leave, he doesn’t even walk toward her. I can only hope he took my reaction as the warning it was.