“Did you make sexual advances on Josh during a session?”
“No,” I answer, feeling a little ashamed of the next part. “I don’t think he sees me as a doctor.”
“Then what’s the problem? It isn’t unethical to be a doctor who has sex.”
“I think that—”
“Would it have happened if it were one of the other team members?”
“What?” I snap my head back. “Of course not.”
She lifts an eyebrow. “Because you had feelings for him before the mission in Costa Rica.”
“Yes.”
“And he hurt your feelings when he called that part of your relationship off.”
“Yes.”
“Because you love him.”
I huff and shake my head. “I don’t know what it is, but what I’m feeling is toxic.”
“And why is that? Because you’ve fallen for a stubborn man who can’t admit that he cares for you, too?”
“What? Dr. Alverez, come on, you can’t make assumptions for him. Plus, if I’m needing to work through those feelings and get past them it’s our job—”
“Now you presume to know what’s best for yourself?”
I stare at the woman, unsure of how to respond. She doesn’t have an ounce of disrespect in her tone. She isn’t being insulting or sounding annoyed.
“Is he honestly toxic?” she asks.
“All of the men at Cerberus have toxic traits,” I mutter, thinking back to all the womanizing.
“Until when?”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do.”
I can’t hide the annoyance from showing on my face.
“Until when? When are the Cerberus men no longer toxic?”
“Until they find their soulmate,” I mutter, hating the little indignant smile that crosses her face.
“Exactly.”
“He’s not my soulmate.”
“How do you know?”
“Did you miss the part where he broke things off?”
“And how many of the Cerberus men jump in headfirst without a little pushback while they get their heads out of their asses?”
“Not many,” I answer.
She nods as if that solves everything.
“I was like comfort food to him after a bad day. Anyone can justify scarfing down ten pounds of mashed potatoes, but eventually they get back into the gym with five extra pounds of regrets clinging to their hips.”
“Do you regret what happened between the two of you?”
“To a point.”
“Let’s dive into that.”
I leave Dr. Alverez’s office half an hour later, feeling no better than I did when I first arrived.
It’s impossible to predict how someone feels. They have to tell you or show you to know their truth, and going by how Aro acted and what he said, I know exactly where I stand where he’s concerned.
If I gave in to what Dr. Alverez was saying and actually let myself believe that Aro cares for me, that he’s working through those emotions himself, I’d be the toxic one.
Chapter 28
Aro
Elation I never thought I’d feel again washes over me at the sound of the vehicle pulling into the driveway. I don’t get up from the couch, and for the first time, I’m not sure how I should act at her return. It’s midday, and I’ve already been to counseling and PT.
I’m exhausted both mentally and physically from the appointments.
I’ve spent the last three days alone, stewing in a pity party, and I have no idea how to react to her arrival.
Inside my chest, my heart is doing somersaults, and I think that’s more telling than the anger I’ve felt about everyone at the clubhouse. There have been no calls or texts, and although I noticed before, I didn’t spend much time worrying about it when she was here with me. We had other things to keep us busy.
My concern now is being able to keep my hands to myself because I truthfully feel like that’s the best course of action.
The front lock whirs when she enters the code, the cool air filtering into the house when the door opens.
I refuse to look up at her. Not because I’m not anxious and excited to see her but because I’m afraid every promise I made to myself where she’s concerned will show on my face if I do.
Instead, I lift the beer to my lips and continue to stare across the room.
“Got another one of those?”
I twist around to find Ugly standing behind the couch with a smile on his face.
“Surprised to see me?”
He chuckles when I don’t say a word as I stare at the duffel bag hanging from his shoulder.
I don’t have to ask about Slick. I know that him being here with a bag packed, ready to stay, means that she isn’t returning.
It should feel like a good thing for that temptation to be removed but I can’t muster any happy thoughts right now.
“Slick mentioned you needing massages,” he says after dropping his bag at the entrance to the hallway, too lazy to carry it to the bedroom before heading to the fridge for a beer.
“I don’t need them anymore,” I tell him quickly, having no interest in my friend rubbing down my sore muscles.