“Sit, please. As beautiful as it is, I’m a little anxious to get to dessert.”
I press my lips together. “Same.”
“You are breathtaking, Drew,” he says, sitting after I do. “My hands are shaking. You have me nervous like a teenager or something.”
I laugh. “Riley Astor nervous? I didn’t know that was possible. I don’t have that much power.”
His smile fades. “You have all the power. Remember that.”
Nodding, I look at my plate, suddenly ravenous. I haven’t been hungry for a week, and now I want to eat it all. For the same reason, Riley has. I want what comes next. Genuine connection. Love. Our bodies naked with him filling me. We both eat quietly, only speaking with polite conversation when Reggie fills our glasses or takes away empty plates. No one else is trusted in our quarters. It’s both scary but relieving. It means Reggie is safe from whatever punishment he’s supposed to endure. His life was spared because his loyalty is the only thing not in question around here. Riley stands and stops him before he leaves. I don’t hear what Riley says to him because the table is long, and he’s speaking low. Reggie leaves.
“He won’t be back,” Riley says, running his hand along the white tablecloth as he approaches me. “It’s just you and me for the rest of the night.” I catch a glimpse of a feral look in his eyes, but it’s gone the next second because now he’s standing next to my seat, extending his hand. “Can I have this dance?”
I put my hand in his. Full trust. “I don’t know how, but I’ll try my best.”
“There’s nothing you can’t do. For this, just follow me.”
He walks me to an empty space, my hand grasped tightly in his. The music is an enchanting love ballad with sweet words and soft beats. Riley pulls me into his body as the singer saysno one is going to love you like I do.He chose the song purposefully. Nothing he does is without reason. I sway against him, my head on his chest—his heartbeat lulling me into a full sense of security. He moves and I move. It’s sinuous. I know him as well as he knows me, and it’s been that way since we first saw each other. Sunshine seeking a storm. My refuge inside the darkness. He begins whispering the words of the song into my hair as he swings us in a different direction. It’s no surprise that he does this so well when he does everything else perfectly. Licking my lips, I glance up. He looks down, eyes sparkling, lips moving to the words, and I’m transfixed by his presence. White teeth peek out from behind his full lips as he sings softly. I find myself returning his smile—wide and jubilant. The bad memories melt away and it’s him and I against whatever comes next. I told Callie I discovered love, but what I didn’t say is I experienced our own version of it. It doesn’t look the same for people like us, and that’s okay. It’s accepting each other at face value and embracing every flaw while making the other feel perfect.
Perfection isn’t a familiarity; in fact, it takes my breath away to know this is my definition of it and nothing could change my mind. “A penny for your thoughts,” Riley says, the song changing to something lower, even more romantic.
“Only a penny?” I counter, then clear my throat. “Sometimes being with you doesn’t feel real. Being here,” I say, hugging him tighter. “Wrapped in your arms, I feel untouchable. Like I was made to be here. Riley, I’d go through everything,” I say, voice tripping. “I’d go through my entire life again if it meant this.”
An emotion flashes in his eyes, but before I can pinpoint it, his mouth is on mine. He kisses me possessively—but also like he’s trying to atone. His lips leave mine and he leans his head against mine. “I want you to havethiswithout any of the pain.”
“Let’s not talk about the pain, then.”
“What do you want to talk about?”
I inhale his exhale. “Honestly, the last thing I want to do is talk, Riley. I want you.”
His fingers are firm on my waist, the heat from his hands seeping through the silken material. His gaze melts into mine. “Are you sure you’re ready.” The last word hangs like a curse.
“I’m sure.” I will my voice to sound strong—brave. Like the person I was becoming before The Ring stole so much. “I’m never not ready to be with you.”
His lips crash into mine and his hands hike up my dress. His hard body is pinning me against the closet wall when I begin unbuttoning his shirt. It’s a rush to see who can undress the other fastest. It’s hungry. It’s this unconscious need that urges us on. When we’re both naked, he steps back to stare at my body. The bruises are gone, and nothing marks my body from the time we’re both trying to forget.
His cock is hard, ready, but he brushes my hair off my shoulder. A tender touch. Riley kisses my shoulder, then neck, sending a thrill up my spine. He lingers after he kisses my ear. “You’re tattooed here, lamb,” he says, kissing me behind my ear. “He did it the night he drugged you.”
“I know.” My neck works as I swallow. How much do I tell him? Do I risk ruining the moment? “It’s how they knew what to price me at. The drugs hadn’t fully taken over when they first brought me in and did the intake exam. They saw it then. I heard them talking.”
Leaning away, he looks me dead in the eyes. “They knew exactly what they had.”
I offer a weak smile. “They are as thorough with their procedures as the Astor family is with theirs. Can’t fault them for that.”
He looks like he wants to rage, but he also knows I’m right. “How did I get so lucky?” he says, taking my face in his hands. “I dreamed about you for years before you came to me, you know? You’re even better than what my dreams showed me. Thank you for being understanding. Thank you for being here when you have every right to leave.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Riley. I’m not the woman from your dreams, I’m your woman.” I sink to my knees and take him into my mouth. Stretching my lips and teeth around him, I’m reminded of how big his dick is and a shiver of anticipation races up my spine and turns into a low burn igniting my entire body. He places his hands on the wall in front of him to brace himself as I tongue his cock. Riley thrusts his hips and I take him in as far as I can. Even tasting him makes me more comfortable than I was before. He’s more than sunshine, he’s a salve to my soul. Mentally, I know I may never recover from the things that happened to me. Physically, his touch puts me on a steady track. Him being near, the sound of his voice, the way he looks down at me like I’m doing something earth-shattering instead of sucking his dick. All of it edges me closer to a normalcy. I’ll fix myself, and Riley Astor will help me.
Fingering his balls, I move my head forward and back. When his shaft is dripping with my saliva, I fuck it with my hand and my mouth at the same time. He pulls his hips back after several steady seconds. “Bed. Let’s go to the bedroom. Not here,” he pants out.
The moment I stand, he picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder gently. I laugh and smack his bare back as he takes us through the door to the bedroom. This room is covered in flowers—huge vases of sunflowers scattered all over the floor and covering every solid surface. There’s a new vase that wasn’t there this afternoon when I was in here. It’s smaller, a slender smoky glass with a few black roses. It sits on the nightstand—in stark contrast to the color surrounding it. Riley lets me slide down his body, my skin sticking to his.
When he sees where my gaze lingers, he whispers, “Just a reminder that I love all of you.”
A lump sticks in my throat. “The black roses in my room at Jesse’s apartment.” I swallow down the emotion. “Those were from you.” I exhale. “Not him.” It was never Jesse, I realize. The mirage was only what I wanted it to be, what I formed in my dreams.
He brushes my wild hair down and away from my face. “It didn’t matter who you thought they were from then, Drew, just that you felt cared for.”